Roommate: Unwanted
by Ashen Skies
Summary: [2x1x2] Heero was perfectly happy as a workaholic recluse, but then Quatre declared War on him and suddenly there's a sugar-high American at his door, messing up the house and showing him that maybe, he hadn't been that happy after all...
1. The Answering Machine

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Wing, have any relation to Gundam Wing, have no permission from those who created Gundam Wing to write this. This is purely for fun, to waste time, and to make other people happy reading and to spread the joy of literature to all those poor unenlightened fellow man out there. I am making no profit from this.

**Pairings: **2x1x2, side pairing 3x4

**Summary:** Heero was perfectly happy as a workaholic recluse, but then Quatre declared War on him and suddenly there's a sugar-high American at his door, messing up the house and showing him that maybe, he hadn't been that happy after all...

* * *

**Roommate: Unwanted**

_Chapter One: The Answering Machine _

_

* * *

_

"Heero Yuy. Not home. Leave a message." Beep.

"What? Heero! Why did you erase the message I helped you record the last time? You're going to scare people away --"

_Click._ "It was too happy."

"Heero? You listen here, the point of an answering machine is to record messages when you're not home, not to answer every phone call you get!"

"It's safer."

"Oh, so if you're dead and can't answer the phone, we might get worried but we wouldn't panic because you usually _don't_ answer the phone, and you'd be dead for days and no one will know until you start to smell!"

"You call every day and I answer the phone every time."

"Yes, that's another thing, you're always at home. I really wish you'd go out sometimes, meet some people, get some fresh air --"

"If I do I won't be able to answer the phone when you call and you'd think I'm dead."

"That's what mobile phones are for!"

There was a pause.

"What do you want, Quatre?"

"Oh! Yes, Trowa and I are going clubbing tonight, why don't you come with us? You can just sit at the bar if you don't want to dance --"

_Click._

Heero stared at the phone, then reached over to the answering machine to reprogram the message. Once done, he retreated to his study room, which he had made sure was soundproof when he'd first furnished the apartment.

Just as the door clicked shut, the phone began to ring.

* * *

"Come on, pick up… Heero?"

"Heero Yuy. Not home. Not dead. Leave a message." _Beep._

"…You _do_ know that this means war, right?"

* * *

Well, here goes my first foray into the genre of humour… This chapter's so short simply because it felt like a good place to stop and I was desperately searching for a good place to stop since I couldn't find any good places to stop.

Unlike my other fics, this one should be updated fairly regularly, because I write it in bits and pieces and post it on my LJ when I feel like it, and it's just for plain fun and not as serious. -grins-

Please, review – and read on!

**Ashen Skies  
**"_Not home. Not dead. Leave a message."_


	2. An Unexpected Caller

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Wing, have any relation to Gundam Wing, have no permission from those who created Gundam Wing to write this. This is purely for fun, to waste time, and to make other people happy reading and to spread the joy of literature to all those poor unenlightened fellow man out there. I am making no profit from this.

**Pairings: **2x1x2, side pairing 3x4

**Summary:** Heero was perfectly happy as a workaholic recluse, but then Quatre declared War on him and suddenly there's a sugar-high American at his door, messing up the house and showing him that maybe, he hadn't been that happy after all...

* * *

**Roommate: Unwanted**

_Chapter Two: An Unexpected Caller _

_

* * *

_

"Heero Yuy. Not home. Not dead. Leave a message." _Beep._

"Heero! This is Quatre, pick up the phone."

_Click_. "…Yes?"

"You might want to tidy up your home and prepare the guest room."

"…My house is always tidy. Why the guest room?"

"You'll see. Bye!" C_lick._

Heero blinked at the phone, then put it down and glared at it. Quatre was up to something.

He considered and discarded various plans of action, then decided to simply ignore the blond's cryptic call. He headed back towards his study, slightly irritated, but just as he put his hand on the doorknob there was a weird dinging noise.

Blinking, he paused, cocking his head to one side and listening hard. Shrugging when the sound didn't repeat itself, he turned the knob and pushed the door open.

He was one step into the room when the sound came again.

"What the hell?" he muttered, turning around to survey his apartment. Did he install some proximity alarm thing and forgot to remind himself? No, he was being stupid. Yet there was nothing out of the ordinary, so what… oh.

He had a doorbell?

Yes, now he remembered… he'd personally removed the one left behind by the previous owner, but Quatre had come by one day with some guy in tow and cheerfully ordered the thing installed. This had happened once or twice more, when Heero had removed the newly-installed ones, too. Quatre just came by again, tenacious bastard that he was. He hadn't been dissuaded when Heero had told him it was of no use; he hadn't had visitors ever since he'd moved into the apartment -- the neighbours had gotten The Glare during the first few days and stayed away after that. Well, no visitors if you didn't count Quatre and Trowa, who knew where the hidden spare key was and didn't bother ringing, so this couldn't be either one of them. It was no wonder he'd promptly forgotten the dratted thing's existence.

The annoying noise came again, and Heero decided to get rid of the stupid bell first thing tomorrow. This could only be a salesman, he decided. He hated salesmen. And he knew one most effective way of getting rid of them, like he had the previous ones (they had all knocked, since there wasn't a doorbell).

Pinpointed pressure on the right spot on the floor caused a panel to slide open, and without bending over he used his foot to flip the gun up into his hand. Another press of his foot, and the panel slid back shut as he walked over to the door. Unbolting and unlocking it, he swung it open and immediately levelled the gun at the intruder's chest, tilting his head up slightly to glare at the other man. He hated his Asian genes; he was so much shorter than most Americans, and people kept trying to intimidate him. The fact that they'd all ended up half dead wasn't the point.

"Ah…" Wide eyes blinked at him, glanced down at the gun, then went back to meet his gaze again. Those eyes were violet, he realized. Amazing shade, really, and from what he could tell they weren't contacts. "Do you do this often?"

"…Are those contacts?"

"What?"

"Your eyes."

The eyes in question crinkled with laughter. "Most people go 'what's your name or 'who are you' or even a rude 'go the hell away', but nooooo, you go, 'are those contacts'? Man, you _are_ weird."

Heero's own eyes narrowed. "Knowing your name is useless to me, since I will not be seeing you for much longer. Knowing if your eyes are naturally that colour is a point of interest, and therefore a better question than 'what's your name', since I could care less."

His words met with actual laughter this time, which went on for a while. Heero had established by now that the newcomer wasn't a salesman; he had a backpack and duffel, for one thing, both well used. All the same, he kept the gun trained on the figure -- he hated surprises, and wanted this one gone quickly. After his question was answered, that is.

"Well?" he said impatiently when the laughter had subsided.

"Well what?"

"My question."

"Oh, they're natural, alright. I get that a lot. Weird, I know, but it's not like you can say anything, either; from what I know about Asians they usually have black hair and black eyes."

He had a point there, Heero acknowledged, knowing his own dark brown hair and deep blue eyes were unusual. But a lot of people had blue eyes, and there was even the slightly rarer green, whereas purple… he made a mental note to research more into genetic defects later.

"I wasn't going to say anything," he returned, "I just wanted to know." Gesturing with his gun, he smirked slightly at the violet-eyed man. "So, before I ask you to 'go the hell away', here's your requisite 'who are you'?"

He waited impatiently for the resulting bout of laughter to fade before he prodded the other's shoulder with the barrel of his gun. "Well?"

A huge grin was on the other man's face as he straightened and offered a hand. "I don't really believe you haven't already guessed, but hey, if you want to play it this way… Duo Maxwell. And you're Heero Yuy."

He eyed the hand as if it was going to detach itself from the wrist and grope him. "Am I supposed to know you?"

Duo pouted, dropping his hand. "Aw, come on, play nice!"

Heero's eyes narrowed as he steadily held the gun pointed at Duo. "I am going to shoot you if you don't leave in five. Four. Three --"

"Hey hey, chill." Duo held up his hands placatingly, an amused smile on his face. "I'll refresh your apparently goldfishtic memory, eh? Let's try this again. I'm Duo Maxwell, your new roommate."

Heero stared.

Duo beamed.

"…Five. Four. Three. Two --"

"Hey, hey, waitaminute!" Duo yelped, lightly batting at the barrel of the gun. Heero, caught off guard, let the counting drop and the gun waver, but he firmed his grip quickly enough, though Duo had stopped pushing by then. "Sheesh, goldfish much?"

"I," Heero stated through clenched teeth and narrowed eyes, "Do not 'goldfish'."

Duo grinned. "Sure you don't… fishie."

Heads all around the estate looked up at the sound of gunshots and yelps, but when they heard the word 'Heero' mixed in with other more indecipherable shouts they went back to their business. It was Yuy again -- he was odd, but useful (none of them were bothered by door-to-door salesmen anymore) so they left him alone. That had _nothing_ to do with the fact that they'd been on the receiving end of both glare and gun, of course.

Meanwhile, on the third floor, Duo ran from one end of the hallway to the other, back and forth, uselessly trying to dodge the bullets while yelling his head off. "I'm _sorry_! I'm _sorry_! Someone help me -- Heero _stop_ it! I _said_ I'm sorry! Someone _help_, dammit -- I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry…"

Heero leant against his doorframe, arms crossed, a smirk on his face for all to see as he watched Duo dash to and fro, still apologizing at the top of his lungs. He'd run out of paint pellets a while ago, but the idiot hadn't noticed yet and was still running, hands over his head in a futile attempt at protection, entirely covered with bright neon paint (oil-based, and very hard to get out of clothing. Or skin, for that matter). It was a damned amusing sight, to say the least.

"…I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm -- hey. Wait a minute." Duo stopped and cautiously peeked out from under his hands and paint-splattered bangs. Seeing Heero smirking at him unconcernedly, gun nowhere in sight, he glared and straightened, pointing an accusing finger at the Japanese man. "You!"

"Me," Heero said agreeably. "Have a nice day."

And then he took a step back into his apartment and shut the door, locking it with satisfaction. He stared at the dark wood for a moment, letting the smile that had been tugging at his lips replace the smirk, and then turned away to head back towards his 'work room'.

A soft sound made him pause, amused smile fading. He'd been trained to keep a subconscious ear out for suspicious noises, however small, and this noise was definitely suspicious. A sort of jingling sound, metal against metal; he'd heard it before…

Shit.

* * *

**Important:**  
The next chapter takes off right where this one ends, a continuous timeline. I split it up because it was too long as one chapter only, and split into two would make better chapters, length-wise: plot-wise and time-wise it would be better to imagine you're reading it at one go.

That said, hope you enjoyed this chapter? How was the humour – rare, medium, well done, or over-cooked? Be honest, and as critical as you can be, if you do review. Thanks!

Oh, and chocolate ice-cream cakes to all those lovely people who reviewed the first chap! -hands out cake- If you don't like cake, then here, have some gratitude fresh: thank you so much to everyone, it's great to know I brought a smile to your day!

**Momochi Zabuza**, **Crazy** (ah, all those lovely questions… they will be answered later. -beams-), **ZaKai**, **Meg-Of-The-Moon**, **Raz**, **ShianeCollins**, **Mystic Dragonsfire** (-pats- hope your day got better!), **Crysania Fay** (use the message all you like – though you might not like the results), **Bluespark** (whew, you liked the summary – I slaved away for minutes on that, glad it was useful!), **andrea**, **ms trick**, **Kasifya**, **raimei**, **hyxdm**, **Merula** (shh, don't tell people that Heero will be utterly crushed by Quatre's dastardly plans… they haven't read it yet!), **randompancake** (go ahead, use the message and scare your friends off…), **serena429**, **Rekishi Niiro** (hey, you reviewed so many of my stories chapter by chapter – thank you! This quick update's in your honour. -grins- though I don't really appreciate being threatened with a flame for Joke…), **chibidark** **angel**, **inthefire2002** (changed quote? -blinks- Uh, where?), **Ink2**, **I.C.** (want to steal the message? then steal away!), **Ellen**, **Nikkler** (er, do you have a grudge against Heero? You seem extremely eager for Quatre to declare war on him… -grins-), **SoulSister** (hey, you can't be like Heero! Go out and enjoy yourself, d'you hear), **rainystar186**, **Eternal** **Sailor** **Darkness**, and **NanashiShinigami** (glad you found Heero in-character!).

**Ashen Skies  
**"_Have a nice day!"_


	3. Friends Like These

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Wing, have any relation to Gundam Wing, have no permission from those who created Gundam Wing to write this. This is purely for fun, to waste time, and to make other people happy reading and to spread the joy of literature to all those poor unenlightened fellow man out there. I am making no profit from this.

**Pairings: **2x1x2, side pairing 3x4

**Summary:** Heero was perfectly happy as a workaholic recluse, but then Quatre declared War on him and suddenly there's a sugar-high American at his door, messing up the house and showing him that maybe, he hadn't been that happy after all...

* * *

**Roommate: Unwanted**

_Chapter Three: Friends Like These _

_

* * *

__From Chapter Two:_

_A soft sound made him pause, amused smile fading. He'd been trained to keep a subconscious ear out for suspicious noises, however small, and this noise was definitely suspicious. A sort of jingling sound, metal against metal; he'd heard it before…_

_Shit._

Whirling around, he was just in time to watch the handle turn and the door open to reveal a widely grinning Duo Maxwell.

And in his hand, two long, thin, familiar-looking pieces of metal, which he twirled around his fingers and then casually pocketed. Heero hurled knives at that pocket with his eyes alone. Then he turned his full glare on the American, who, sadly, wasn't affected any more than he was before.

"You just broke into my apartment," Heero finally stated, rather peeved at being thwarted.

"Ah," Duo said with an air of knowledge, "But you're inside, so that doesn't count."

"…That is illogical."

"That is _my_ logic," Duo informed him.

"Same thing."

"Hey!"

Heero sighed. He was tired of this. "What do you want?"

Duo beamed. "So we're being serious now, huh? Good. I'm here to stay in your unused guest room, pay you $500 per month for rent, and share half the responsibility in apartment-keeping while making sure you don't kill yourself overworking. And if possible, turn you into a social animal in heat. All as agreed, yeah?"

He blinked at Heero's furious expression. "Er, okay, no animals then. How about just a normal social life? I can do normal. Honest."

The Japanese growled and turned, making a beeline for his house phone. This had Quatre written all over it. In flashing neon letters. On a huge billboard. In the heart of the city, even.

Autodial had the phone ringing in a second. Quatre picked up after two. "Quatre Winner spea --"

"I sincerely hope you have your affairs in order."

"Heero? Is that you?"

"I have a website for a funeral parlour if you'd like to choose your own coffin."

The blond was sadly unintimidated. "All's fair in love and war."

"You sent some _stranger_ --"

"He's not a stranger! I met them all beforehand, and out of the entire lot he was the best choice. I'm not entirely heartless, you know. We talked, I got to know him better, and I think he's the perfect person to kick you in the --"

"He has no idea that _I_ have no idea what he's doing here!" Heero hissed. "And what do you mean, met them all --"

But suddenly the phone wasn't in his hand anymore. Twisting around, he stared at Duo as the other man grinned shamelessly at him. "I think I have a pretty good idea, now," he said cheerfully. Ignoring the gathering thundercloud on Heero's face, he said into the phone, "Hello, Quatre? You're one sly, manipulative bastard, I'll give you that. Letting me see the guy at his worst and giving me an out if I didn't want -- what…? Oh, don't worry. I love a good challenge. I'm not backing down on this one! Mm-hmm… yeah… okay. Got it."

He held the phone out to Heero, winking impishly. "It's for you."

Heero snatched the phone back. "You better have a good explanation for this, Quatre, besides 'I want you to have my definition of a social life'."

"Well, you've got _that_ covered, so I won't say it again. But, Duo really does need the room. Talk to him, please? Oops, gotta go, Trowa tied up on the kitchen table and all that. See you, Heero!" _Click_.

"…"

_I'm never eating on his kitchen table again._

"You've got a good friend in Quatre, you know," Duo said conversationally as he moved towards the couch in the living room. Heero noted that the front door was closed, locked, and that Duo's bags were next to it. "He really cares about your well being."

Heero threw the phone back in the holder, watched in resignation as it bounced back out, and then stuck it into place again. This time, it stayed, and he went into the living room, where Duo was happily snuggling the couch.

He blinked and looked again. Yes, Duo was not snuggling _on_ the couch, but was actually _snuggling_ the couch. Rubbing his noise against it, in fact.

Resisting the urge to rub his temples (a Herculean effort) he said pointedly, "If that has paint on it, you're replacing it."

"You should know better than anyone that the paint you used is quick-drying. Hey, love the couch, Heero!"

"You can sleep on it," was his curt reply. "Or rather, not. The paint flakes off, and you're cleaning that before you leave. And at least have the decency to call me 'Yuy', _Maxwell_."

"I'm a friendly kind of guy," Duo said loftily. "As specified in the ad."

He paused, and Quatre's words surfaced again in his mind. _Met them all beforehand…_

"What ad?" he asked, despite knowing, deep in his gut, that he _really_ didn't want to know.

"The classifieds from the day before, third page."

"Third page where?" He knew how small the font was, and how many ads could be squeezed into a page. They were expensive, after all, and every little bit counted.

"Er… don't think you need to worry about that."

He went to look, dread and suspicion tidal-waving him. His fears were confirmed.

The ad took up a damn _fifth_ of the page.

_Roommate needed to rehabilitate ill-tempered workaholic recluse. Needs to be friendly, determined, not easily shocked, have a high tolerance and able to help with housework, which includes cooking. Rent at $500 per month, inclusive of everything._

Quatre's number was at the end. Heero willed the paper to spontaneously combust.

In the silence that followed, Duo said conversationally, "I'm more of 'stubborn' than 'determined', but I figured that'd be fine. And after meeting you, I dare say that nothing less than 'stonewalled stubborn' could help."

"…Even a stone wall can be knocked into rubble," Heero muttered, still glaring at the black and white print.

"Ooh, but rubble is pretty," Duo said happily.

Heero stared.

"What?"

"…Rubble is pretty?"

"So I happen to like rubble. Is that a problem?" Duo said defensively.

"Yes, it is, if you like to _create_ rubble as well. I don't appreciate having my walls turned into rubble, however artistic the masterpiece -- _oof._"

The air had left his lungs, he was seeing spots, and his ears were ringing. His roof had just fallen in on him, and it was talking.

What?

He forced himself back into focus, and before the spots were half-gone he'd managed to make out the frantic flow of words. "… god Heero I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to jump on you so hard but I thought you were balanced and you always seem so sturdy anyhow even though I've only known you for a grand total of three minutes so I didn't think twice about glomping you and I'm really sorry you're not dead are you? Speak to me, Heero, speak to me!"

"Off…"

"Oh, thank god, he lives! Heero! You're alive!"

"…heavy…"

"I thought you'd never start breathing normally again! No, don't try to talk, wait for your breath to come back, slowly now…"

Heero managed a glare with his recovering vision and rasped, "Get… _off_ me."

Duo looked down at him in confusion. "What?" Then he realized that he was still sitting on Heero from when he had tackled the man. "Oh. Oooops."

He got off, and Heero rolled onto his side, resting there for a moment as Duo hovered anxiously over him. "I'm sorry, I was so happy at hearing you'd agreed to let me stay that I just tackled you in a hug, and now I've got paint all over you _and_ your couch…"

In some distant corner of his mind, Heero noted that this was true. The rest of his mind was occupied with trying to comprehend the implications of _I was so happy at hearing you'd agreed to let me stay_.

"…I'll go clean it up, you won't know it's ever been there, I'm _good_ at cleaning up, you'll see, I've got practice, and I'll be the nicest roommate you'll ever have!"

Reality caught up then, and he sat up sharply. "You're not _going_ to be my roommate!" he snapped, then shuddered as his head spun. Drawing his knees up, he rested his forehead against them. Dammit, he knew better than to get up so quickly; he hated the feeling of blood rushing to his head.

Dimly he felt a soothing hand stroking his back, and a warm presence next to him. "And you call me the idiot," an amused voice drifted into his ears. "Sitting up so quickly after being knocked to the ground and losing your breath…"

Heero pushed away from the warm body and got to his feet. "Yeah, well," he growled, "Whose fault was that? _You_ were the damned ass who broke into my house and forced your company on me and made false assumptions that I actually _welcome_ you when I _don't_."

But then he faltered as he looked at Duo, still kneeling on the floor, sad smile on his upturned face. "Do you really hate me all that much, already?" the other man asked quietly.

They watched each other for a moment, Heero trying to wrap his mind around this new personality in front of him -- or was it all that new? He didn't know a thing about Duo Maxwell, to be truthful. And there was always more to a person than what you saw at first glance. He should know.

Finally he turned away, making his way to the kitchen where he kept the vacuum cleaner. "My work room's soundproofed, so I don't care if you play loud music or watch TV or anything as long as the neighbours don't complain. Don't go into my workroom or my bedroom. If you break anything, you get a new one. Make a mess, clear it up. I usually eat a sandwich or some canned soup for meals, but if you want anything else you order, pay, and clean it up yourself."

_It isn't defeat, just…a temporary ceasefire._

He found the machine, and turned around to see Duo leaning against the kitchen doorframe, grinning. "Yes sir!" he mock-saluted, coming forward to take the vacuum from Heero. "I'll clean the living room right away, sir!"

Heero ignored him. "Towels are in the bathroom, find them yourself. I assume you have your own toothbrush and toothpaste; if not get your own. Same for shampoo and soap. Clothes go into the basket under the sink, and Friday afternoons I bring the clothes down to the Laundromat. Any questions?"

"No sir!"

He checked his irritation and nodded curtly, brushing past Duo as he headed to his workroom. Hopefully this wouldn't affect his life much, if Duo kept to the rules. He spent most of his time in his workroom, anyway.

"Hey, Heero?"

He paused at the doorway.

"Thanks."

He nodded without turning and went into his room, closing the door behind him.

* * *

And finally their first meeting is done and over with! Man this is fun to on this piece, anyone? Please? 

**Ashen Skies  
**"_With friends like these, who needs enemies?"_


	4. The First Attack

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Wing, have any relation to Gundam Wing, have no permission from those who created Gundam Wing to write this. This is purely for fun, to waste time, and to make other people happy reading and to spread the joy of slashy literature to all those poor unenlightened Fellow Man out there. I am making no profit from this.

**Pairings: **2x1x2, side pairing 3x4

**Summary:** Heero was perfectly happy as a workaholic recluse, but then Quatre declared War on him and suddenly there's a sugar-high American at his door, messing up the house and showing him that maybe, he hadn't been that happy after all...

* * *

**Roommate: Unwanted**

_Chapter Four: The First Attack _

_

* * *

__Smoke. It was smoke, there was no mistaking that smell -- which meant something had gone wrong. Odin always said smokescreens were unreliable, amateurish, and only to be used as a last resort, and even then never on its own. But here it was now, and it was everywhere, encompassing, opaque, and he couldn't breathe, couldn't see._

_There was someone in front of him, shaking him. He was choking to death, about to be killed, and he couldn't even see his attacker, only the unforgiving smoke._

_And then he was drenched with ice-cold water._

Heero shot up with an inarticulate yell, sputtering, goosebumps exploding over his skin. Water had gotten up his nasal passages and into his eyes and it _hurt_, his bed sheets and clothes were soaking, and it felt like Antarctica in his bedroom.

His bedroom?

Ah. Then it was a dream. Or rather, a warped memory…

Then why was he wet? With freezing water, to boot… and why did he still smell smoke?

The door was open, and wide purple eyes were peeking over the doorframe. Heero pushed his dripping bangs out of his face and glared for all he was worth.

"Maxwell! _Why_ is my door open, _why_ are you looking in, _why_ am I wet and what the _hell_ is that smell?" he demanded furiously.

Let it be known that Heero Yuy was not a morning person.

Also let it be known that he could be very eloquent when he was pissed.

"Er." A hand appeared in the doorway, a bucket dangling from it. Drops of water sauntered their way down the plastic side and dripped mockingly at him onto the floor. "You weren't waking up… and you were thrashing in your sleep. I tried to shake you awake, but you got this really scary look on your face so I decided to try something else…"

"A bucket of _ice water_?"

"Uh, isn't that what everyone does when they want to wake an unwakeable person up?"

Heero stared. His teeth chattered.

"Is that a no?"

Something else caught his attention then. That bucket… looked familiar. Dread and the beginnings of nausea crept over him. "Where did you get that?" he demanded, pointing.

Duo looked down. "Oh, this? It was in the kitchen, under the sink – Heero?"

The Japanese man had turned pale. In an instant he dove out of bed and bolted into the bathroom. The shower was turned on full-blast a second later. Duo hesitantly meandered over to the open bathroom door and peered in. Heero stood under the shower, clothes and all, shivering as he waited for the heater to kick in. He was taking gulps of water as well, rinsing his mouth and spitting it out.

The water must have warmed up then, because Heero started pulling off his clothes, oblivious or just ignoring Duo's presence. Duo watched as the shirt came off, revealing nicely toned arms and shoulders and a firm six-pack -- Heero wasn't overly muscled, but nice and lean… then his brain caught up and he let out an undignified squeak as he spun around, so that he was facing the bedroom.

"Er – Heero? You might want to keep your clothes on --"

"With them dripping wet, so that I can get a chill, fall ill, and die, and you can take over my apartment? No."

"Well, it's just --"

"Do you have any _idea_ what I use that bucket for? I once stored a decomposing rat inside to observe its decay. Now -- if I recall correctly, there should have been a liquid --"

"Yeah, there was some water-like stuff in it. Is it acid? It kinda exploded."

"No, it's not acid, it was -- wait. _What_?"

Duo winced. "I thought it was water! You know -- to collect drops from a leaking pipe or something. You shouldn't have kept it under the _sink_."

Heero's voice was murderously quiet behind him. "Would you please get back to the 'it kinda exploded' part?"

"Uh -- that would be the fire in the kitchen. This would be where the bucket comes in, since I was trying to put it out. Well -- I _hope_ I put it out, anyway --"

"You _hope?_"

"I was, um, afraid of getting my hair burnt so I ran after tossing the water somewhere into the smoke in the general direction of the stove. My aim's pretty good though, so I think the water made it --"

A blur hurtling past him and through the open bedroom door cut him off mid-sentence. Duo blinked, then peeked into the bathroom to look. No Heero. Then that blur just now must have been his new roommate… wow. He sure did move fast.

"_Maxwell_!" came a horrified yell.

_Shit_. Duo hesitantly made his way to the kitchen he had just recently vacated and halted in the doorframe. Heero was standing just a little further in front, back to Duo. Water droplets dripped off his hair and onto the smooth skin of his back, where they glimmered in the hazy light. He really did have a very nice body. Toned and leanly muscled. He'd noticed it just now, and he was noticing it now again. Nice.

Duo was very glad that the only thing Heero was wearing was a towel low around his waist -- pity he had the time to even grab one…

All this was from a purely objective view, of course, as a connoisseur of such things. He wasn't interested in a relationship, physical or otherwise, just the view.

_And what a view…_

He firmly told the lecherous bunny in his head to shut up, and stop licking its lips. There were more important matters to deal with, and they required a delicate touch.

The fire on the stove was burning out already, flickering pathetically on top of the charred remains of quite a large percentage of the cookable foodstuffs that used to be in Heero's kitchen. Well -- Duo had taken them out and seen them in their original glory, so he knew what the mess was made of, but he really didn't think Heero could tell from looking. The other counters and table were covered in the _rest_ of the cookable foodstuffs in Heero's kitchen, _and_ most other non-cookable foodstuffs, too. All in the vicinity of the stove was black, and smoke was still eddying around in the kitchen.

_Good thing he hasn't finished his bath, because he's going to need another one to get rid of the smoke smell and grit…_ Duo mused, idly watching an intrepid droplet freefall from a dark clump of hair to Heero's right shoulder blade, and from there bravely venture its way to the small of Heero's back, collecting comrades along the way, and the whole party continued down… into the shadowed beyond. He swallowed, and reluctantly tore his eyes away.

_No, bunny-boy. No jumping the nice man._

_Aww. Why not?_

_Mostly because the nice man might just murder me on the spot if I did._

Then Heero turned around, and with one look at his face Duo altered that previous thought.

…_Actually he might just murder me regardless._

"Let me get this straight," Heero said in an eerily calm voice. "You tried to cook something, and it caught fire. You dumped an explosive chemical on it, and the fire grew. Then you filled a bucket with water, threw it in the _general_ direction of the stove because the smoke was too thick, but then still had time to fill it again with _ice_ water and _throw it on me_."

Duo laughed nervously and tried not to let the _Heero is damn sexy when he's mad_ thought show on his face. "Always knew you were the kind to take in the whole situation at a glance, eh, Heero?"

"I will rend you from limb to limb."

Duo resisted the urge to take a step back at the scary smile on Heero's face.

"Your eye is twitching, man, that's not good."

"I will _enjoy_ hearing you scream."

_Ooh. Now _that's_ kinky._

Duo mentally threw the bunny into the wall. _NO he doesn't mean it in _that_ way!_ He madly scrambled for something else to say.

"Er, ever thought of running the 100-metre dash in the Olympics?"

_How is that line any better than mine?_ the bunny demanded agitatedly. _You're an idiot, and you're going to get us both killed. _Run_ you sucker._

_I can't! He's faster than I am!_

Now it was Heero's _hands_ that were twitching, as if they were itching to wrap around something. Preferably something soft, warm, and connected to both Duo's head and body. The braided man made one last, brave attempt at survival.

"Hey, at least the fire alarm's not gone off, or we'd have firemen to deal with on top of it all, yeah?"

And of course, at that moment…

The alarm went off.

"Uh. Oops?"

"I am going to _kill_ you, Maxwell!"

When the firemen arrived, neighbours assured them that no, the screaming and yelling was not from trapped victims, yes, they were sure, and why yes, it was a fairly common occurrence. They had better wait for the noise to stop before venturing upstairs. It might take some time, though; would they like some tea?

* * *

"Ooh, what's that?"

Music began blasting from the speakers.

"Shut that off, Maxwell."

"Ooh, what's that?"

The windshield wipers moved into action.

"Shut that _off_, Maxwell."

"Ooh, what's that?"

The headlights flared into life.

"_Shut that_ _off_, Maxwell."

"Ooh – "

"Touchjust _one more thing _in my car and I will_ rip that finger off_, Maxwell"

Duo raised an innocent eyebrow at him. "But Heero, I was just going to point out that that restaurant to the right, there, makes very good breakfast."

Heero glowered, and made the turn.

The restaurant was done in a futuristic style, with glass walls that allowed the passer-bys and the diners to peer at each other. Duo picked a booth next to the wall, and happily sat down. He beamed and waved at a little kid walking past with her parents. The child stared wide-eyed back at him, then ventured a little smile before the family walked out of sight.

"Little kids are so trusting, aren't they?" Duo grinned at Heero.

He glared back.

"Aw, c'mon, Heero… I promised I'd clean the place up later, _and_ pay for any damages. I'm even paying for this meal! Enjoy your morning out, will ya?"

"I still think I could have made something out of the remaining food --"

"No, you couldn't, unless you want to kill your taste buds and get food poisoning," Duo interrupted. _I should know; I made sure of that._

"I could have gone without breakfast."

"And wither away to nothing?" Duo put a hand on his chest and looked properly dramatically horrified. "I promised Quatre to take care of you, milord, and take care of you I shall – my honour demands it!"

Heero's scathing retort about damsels was interrupted by the waiter, who gave them menus. Duo didn't even look at his menu before rattling off a list of food, while Heero flipped through his. When Duo finished his long order, he looked at his new roommate, still browsing through the choices, and sighed. "Make that two sets, please," he told the waiter.

That head of dark brown hair came up sharply and he met those glaring eyes without flinching. Time for the logical, reasonable approach. "I'd like to have breakfast sometime in the next hour," he said calmly. "And as I've eaten here before, I know what's good and what isn't, so you can trust my taste."

The Japanese man eyed him with an unreadable look before settling back in his seat and turning to look outside. Duo beamed and followed suit.

"Hey, Heero, that guy there? Guess what he's doing."

"Standing," Heero said blandly.

Duo made a face at him that Heero caught in the glass, a flicker of illusionary movement. "No, no, that's not what I meant and you know it. Let's see… I say he's waiting for a girlfriend."

"…No. For friends. His actions are more impatient than nervous. Nervous movements are sharper. Jerkier."

"But look at his expression, he's biting his lip, and he's fidgety. That says nervous."

"No, that could mean worry. It could be because he and his friends are going to do something important together and they are going to be late."

"His dressing is casual, and he's not checking over himself like he'd be doing if he were going on a date. I still think…" He trailed off as a car pulled up to the curb, and the guy's face broke into a wide smile as he opened the door. From their position in the restaurant, Heero and Duo could just make out three figures in the car -- two girls and a guy. The teen they were watching greeted the girl in the backseat with a kiss to the cheek.

Duo turned to grin at Heero then. "So we were both right and wrong."

"Hn."

"Now, see that family --- want to take a shot at them? I say the parents are usually great together, but today their nerves seem to be a little stressed, you can tell by the way they're exchanging these little looks…"

Heero, ostensibly watching the family Duo was analysing, was actually watching Duo in the glass. The American was… much more than he seemed, that was for certain. _What_ he really was like, though, was a mystery.

People-watching was a hobby for Heero. It helped in his job, and he rather liked knowing things about people. He was good at it, too; he had a degree in psychology after all. That he couldn't really figure out his new roommate… it rankled.

Very well then.

His new target was Duo Maxwell, and he would find out exactly what the American had to hide.

* * *

Duo looked around the kitchen, and had to grin. He had done a pretty good job of wrecking the place, if he did say so himself. The not-acid was a brilliant move -- it had used up most of the food for the fire in one explosion that made the damage look worse than it actually was.

_You didn't _know_ it would do that, idiot._

_So? It was still a good move._

He poked his head out of the kitchen and checked that Heero's workroom door was closed (just to be safe, because he'd already seen Heero go in the moment they arrived back at the apartment and he'd been told in no uncertain terms to stay out) before he took out his mobile phone. Clearing a space on the kitchen table, he hoisted himself up into the wood surface and dialed.

Three rings, and then Quatre picked up.

"So how did it go?" was the first thing the blond asked.

"What, not even a 'hello'?" Duo said in mock offense into the phone.

Quatre was unrepentant. "Tell, Duo!"

"It went perfectly -- you should see the kitchen now. Half of it's black with soot and I burnt almost every edible thing I could find… actually, I say edible, but god, the stuff he stocks is almost military rations! My taste buds would starve to death."

There was a snicker on the other end of the line. "I know. I've seen his kitchen."

"Well, nobody's going to be doing much cooking or eating around here for a while!"

"So where did you go for breakfast?"

"Well, I dragged him to this nice restaurant I know, great food; we people-watched and had a generally not unpleasant time. Wasn't too bad, for his first meal outside in…"

"Two years," Quatre supplied helpfully.

"Right. So anyway, the first attack can be counted as a success, my good friend!" Then he remembered the earlier events and grinned widely to himself. _And I even got to see him half-naked and wet,_ he thought, but didn't say it out loud. He wouldn't jeopardize his new mission with relationships, physical or not; besides, Quatre was paying him extra for doing all this and he wasn't about to lose the income by admitting to such an overprotective friend like Quatre that he wanted to jump Heero. Instead, he said, "Oh, and I dumped ice water on him in bed."

"You're kidding!"

He let the satisfaction he felt surface in his tone. "Nope."

"I want to know the details now, Maxwell!"

"Okay, okay… sheesh, you billionaire types are all the same, so demanding. Right then. See, I woke up way early, and went to start work on the kitchen…"

Outside, Heero silently turned and made his way back to his workroom. He'd come to offer his help to clean up the kitchen -- after all, the breakfast had been quite good, he had to admit, and the people-watching had been actually quite fun with someone else to share and argue observations with. Helping Maxwell would give him an opportunity to see how he worked, as well. What he'd found instead, though, was much better than a mere opportunity to observe his roommate.

He'd found war.

The next attack… would be his.

Rawr.

* * *

Hello again! Hope the wait wasn't too long… I tried my best, I really did. I wrote this chapter in utmost secrecy, actually… not supposed to be doing personal fic stuff.

And the humour's not as pronounced in this chapter as well -- I'm sorry! But just to warn you guys, the humour's most likely going to decrease as the chapters add on. I'm not too good at it, so it'll get serious soon enough.

Can't do individual relies to reviews -- stupid FFnet policies -- but rest assured I love you all to bits for reviewing.

Hope you liked. :)

**Ashen Skies  
**"_Ooh, what's that?"_


	5. Laws of Science

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Wing, have any relation to Gundam Wing, have no permission from those who created Gundam Wing to write this. This is purely for fun, to waste time, and to make other people happy reading and to spread the joy of slashy literature to all those poor unenlightened Fellow Man out there. I am making no profit from this.

**Pairings: **2x1x2, side pairing 3x4

**Summary:** Heero was perfectly happy as a workaholic recluse, but then Quatre declared War on him and suddenly there's a sugar-high American at his door, messing up the house and showing him that maybe, he hadn't been that happy after all...

* * *

**IMPORTANT:** please, if you're an old reader who's read the previous chapters before - do go back and reread them. Partly to refresh your memory, of course, but also because I've made quite a few changes to the previous chapters. Nothing too big, but I did add a few details in. If you're a new reader then, uh, ignore this. And welcome.

* * *

**Roommate: Unwanted**

_Chapter Five: Laws of Science _

_

* * *

_

It had to be something good.

Something with _style_.

Something… spectacular.

_If only Maxwell has a house that I can blow up, things would be easy._

Growling to himself, Heero glared at the computer screen and the blank Word document that occupied its centre, with the type-line flashing serenely at him, vistas of empty, white, _wordless_ space after it. He hated blank documents. It bespoke unproductivity.

He jabbed the full-stop key, and smirked at the dot that appeared on the screen in satisfaction. Feeling slightly cheered, he back-arrowed the flashing line to before the dot, centred the alignment of the sentence, and then typed a title to the document:

Opening counterattack.

He considered that for a moment, and then decided that he might derive more inspiration if he bolded it and capitalized both words, so he did:

**Opening Counterattack.**

The full-stop was superfluous. It would go. An underline would add authority. Technically this was also the first part of a possibly long war. He made the appropriate changes, so now the document was titled:

**Phase One: Opening Counterattack**

Staring at it, he felt the twitching of a hatchling idea being needled into existence, and to give it help, he turned to bore holes with his eyes through the sturdy door of his supposedly sound-proof study, through which, for reasons only God-who-hated-him-and-bent-the-laws-of-the-universe-solely-to-annoy-him knew, the voice of one Duo Maxwell penetrated like sniper bullets to fill the room.

_Sniper bullets are subtle._

Oh yes. Hand grenades, then.

_Better._

He couldn't understand it. He'd had this room specially built, and he'd personally supervised its construction. He'd chosen the materials himself, and tested it there and then; after that he'd taken samples back to his labs and examined them. He'd set up a preliminary test cubicle, and his actual room had weathered years of Quatre's doorbell ringing and installing and all other noises. Science had ensured he'd have the most soundproof room possible of being built. And somehow all the laws of science couldn't stand up to _one_, only one reedy, irritating, relentless, piercing, shrill voice –

_Well now, no need to lie to yourself, you always know when you do._

Alright, so one irritating, relentless, piercing –

_Hey, no need to be so nasty._

_Fine_, one relentless, not-too-bad-actually, quite melodious tenor voice, are you _happy_ now?

_No need to be so grumpy with yourself either._

He choose to turn back to his screen and tried to focus _not_ on Maxwell's singing but on his **Phase One: Opening Counterattack**.

He needed something… spectacular.

_Tanomi mo shinai no ni asa wa yatte kuru mado o…_

Something with style.

…_akete chotto fukaku shinkokyuu…_

Something _good_.

…_fukuret tsura no kimi omoi dashite warau…_

Something... quite catchy, actually,was being sung in Japanese.

…_kenka shita yokujitsu wa rusuden ni shippanashi daro._

Maxwell knew Japanese? …Wait. What was that line? _Kenka shita yokujitsu wa rusuden ni shippanashi daro…_

The day after we fight, you always leave your answering machine on?

_I am going to MURDER that Winner brat and his new pet TEN TIMES OVER!_

Savage inspiration hit him, and his fingers flew over the keyboard.

* * *

In the kitchen, ostensibly cleaning up but mostly just flitting about randomly dusting clean corners, Duo cast a quick glance at the apparatus carefully constructed at the side of Heero's study door, confirmed that it was working fine, and continued to sing his song as loudly as possible, happily oblivious to the fact that it was leading to his own downfall. 

_I didn't even ask for it, yet morning comes;  
__I open my window and take a deep breath.  
__I remember you, looking mad, and I smile:  
__The day after we fight, you always leave your answering machine on… _

_

* * *

_

As the song outside ended its second repetition, Heero sat back and enjoyed the sight of a three-page, word-filled document, neatly organized. Deciding the underline at the top was actually quite tacky, he undid it, and then scrolled to the end of the document. With a flourish, he typed:

**End Phase One**

He had a plan, and he would begin tomorrow. Life was good.

He realized he was humming along with that dratted song, and made himself stop.

* * *

Hi everyone! Sorry this is very late. Had a rough time in the GW fandom lately because of… things… and slipped out of it for a long while, but I'm back! To people's joy or disappointment, I wonder. But anyway, it's because I swore never to abandon a fic. I very strongly disapprove of anyone who does that. And I kinda have quite a few left in GW… 

Hope you enjoyed this chapter (albeit short)! If you haven't realized – **this chapter starts just a few minutes after the last chapter ended**, so Duo's still supposedly cleaning up the kitchen, only as you can see he's not really doing it. Heero's going to be upset, but not as badly as you'd think, because he has a plan! (Rawr.)

This didn't have a lot of plot in it, I know – but it had a point. I did drop a few hints here and there as to the boys' unusual background. Can you catch them? Like the mention of Odin and smokescreens in the previous chapter. And the contents of the bucket… (did no one wonder at all? I wibble.) Many bits and pieces, basically. But no one seemed to notice...

Oh, and note the song – it's from the anime HunterXHunter, sung by Keon and titled _Ohayou_, and it's really a very upbeat, catchy song that always gets stuck in my head. Its lyrics are very fitting for the story, too. I beam happily.

Thank you lovely reviewers for the reviews for the previous chapter, and all the notes telling me to hurry up and get off my lazy ass in writing. It did help! Sorry I can't reply individually to thank you… dratted FFnet policy.

**Ashen Skies  
**"_He needed something… spectacular."_


	6. Of Open War

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Wing, have any relation to Gundam Wing, have no permission from those who created Gundam Wing to write this. This is purely for fun, to waste time, and to make other people happy reading and to spread the joy of slashy literature to all those poor unenlightened Fellow Man out there. I am making no profit from this.

**Pairings: **2x1x2, side pairing 3x4

**Summary:** Heero was perfectly happy as a workaholic recluse, but then Quatre declared War on him and suddenly there's a sugar-high American at his door, messing up the house and showing him that maybe, he hadn't been that happy after all...

* * *

**Roommate: Unwanted**

_Chapter Six: Of Open War _

_

* * *

_

"Wake up, wake up, wake up…"

Duo groaned and flailed his arms in the general direction of the voice. "Shut up already!" he muttered. Then it hit him – only one person would be available to wake him up, and from what he knew of that person, there was no way he'd sound so… amiable.

He opened an eye.

Only to see a world of white as he was hit full in the face by a pillow.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up…" Another hit.

"I'm awake! I'm awake!" Duo shot upright just in time to meet the third downward swing of the pillow, which knocked him flat onto his back again. "Cut it out!"

The attack stopped, and Duo yelped as a strong hand grabbed his wrist and yanked him off the bed. "I've got the shower running already!" said a bright voice as Duo stumbled half-blind in the direction where hands on his back were pushing him. "Go right in and wake yourself up – we've got a long day ahead of us!"

So early in the morning, Duo's brain could only come up with one tried-and-true line. "Who are you and what have you done with Heero?" he demanded.

"Ha ha, always the joker, Maxwell. Get _in_."

He was shoved unceremoniously into the bathroom; the door slammed shut behind him. The air inside was warm and humid, and the mirror over the sink was fogged up. Still utterly confused, Duo stood there for a few seconds getting his bearings. Then he shrugged to himself.

"Go with the flow, Maxwell, go with the flow," he said aloud. He quickly slipped out of his sweatpants and undid his braid, before hopping into the shower.

His scream promptly ripped through the entire floor.

Outside the door, Heero, with his fingers stuck in his ears, smirked and sauntered out of the room. Phase One, Step One complete.

"Cold cold cold cold –" Duo's teeth chattered as he tumbled out of the bathtub, arms wrapped around himself as he shivered. The water had been _freezing_. "What the _hell_," he mumbled as he stuck a hand in and cranked the hot water tap way up. "It must have been Heero – that _bastard_."

After waiting for a few minutes, however, he ascertained that the hot water was not coming. "Oh, great…" Taking a deep breath, Duo told himself firmly, "You can do it, Maxwell. Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that you lost because you couldn't stand a little cold water."

Another deep breath, and he jumped back into the water. _I'd swear all my outer parts don't exist anymore, if I couldn't see them,_ he thought grimly as he grabbed his shampoo and swiftly washed his hair through once; his soap was next. _Sod the conditioner, this time. I'm not that much of a masochist_. Finished with his bath in much less than half the time he normally used, he hurried out of the cold water and dried himself, dashing into the bedroom to put on his underwear, long sweatpants and a T-shirt.

Once warmly covered, he let out a relieved sigh and flopped retrieved his towel from where he had carelessly tossed it just now in his haste. He wrapped it around his hair, and brought the entire mass over his shoulder to rub dry.

And froze, staring.

His second scream ripped through the entire building.

Outside the door, Heero, with his fingers stuck in his ears, smirked even wider and sauntered into the kitchen. Step Two was complete.

Duo whimpered as he stared at the ghastly, garish, bright neon green nightmare that used to be his precious hair. With shaking fingers he tugged on a few strands and winced when he felt the slight pain in his scalp. "No…"

He stood and dashed to the door, flinging it wide open. "Yuy!" he howled down the corridor, shaking a dramatic fist at the air. "You will pay!"

And was shocked into silence when Heero suddenly appeared.

"Maxwell?" The Japansese man looked surprised. "That's – your hair! What did you do to it?"

Duo sputtered. "What did _I _do –"

"Oh dear, don't tell me I left the green dye in your room?" Heero exclaimed.

That made Duo blink. "Wha…?"

"I apologize," Heero said solemnly. "I was planning to use that for an experiment… I have no idea how this happened."

"Well, I do!" Duo got his wind back, and he waved a few admonishing green strands at Heero, ignoring the way they flopped about miserably. "You! Made me bathe in freezing cold water so I'd be in such a hurry that I wouldn't check my bottles properly!"

"Cold water? But I turned the heater on, and made sure it was warm before I woke you up," Heero protested, looking utterly confused and hurt.

It caused Duo to pause. _Oh, he looks so cute like that… wait, wait. You're getting distracted, Maxwell!_ "Why the sudden niceness?" he said suspiciously.

Heero shrugged a little. "I was… less than sociable yesterday. And you cleaned the kitchen all by yourself. I thought I owed you something." A shadow covered his face then, and he turned away. "I guess if you don't want to –"

"No, no, I want to," Duo said hastily. "It's no problem, really – I mean, the water made me wake up really fast, and, uh, I suppose the dye washes out…"

"It does," Heero assured him, turning back.

"Good, good. I'll just go back and–"

"After a week."

"–wash it _ack_." Duo choked. "A – a week!"

"I apologise."

"Uh… no worries," Duo said weakly, backing into the room. "I'll just, uh, go dry my… my neon green hair… my poor neon green, mutilated hair…"

Heero watched as Duo shut the door, mumbling under his breath. The instant the door shut, the contrite look left his face, replaced by a soon-to-be-uncontrollable smirk.

Step Three was an utter success.

He squooshed the niggling voice that muttered at him, _Did_ _you _have _to do that to his hair? It was such nice hair, too…_

_

* * *

_

They ate breakfast at a small café in an area that made Duo edgy – he got the feeling that people were staring at him. When he mentioned it to Heero, the Japanese man shrugged.

"It's the green," he said simply.

Duo just nodded, though something told him that the way they were looking at him was not so much of 'ooh, look at his _hair'_, but '_ooh_ – look at _him_'.

He'd noticed people giving Heero those sort of looks, too, but Heero didn't seem to have noticed anything out of the ordinary, so he ignored it as well.

Barely.

Heero finished his meal earlier than Duo, and stood. "Bathroom. Be back in a while."

He left the table and headed to the back of the café, returning a few minutes later. Duo quickly swallowed the last bite of his food, wiped his mouth with a napkin, and stood, beaming at Heero. "Shall we go?"

They rose from the table and left the café after Heero paid for both their meals. When they had walked a few paces away from the entrance, though, Heero stopped. "Oh, great, I forgot something in the bathroom… I'll be right back. You wait here," he ordered, and jogged off.

Duo rolled his eyes at his retreating back and stuck his tongue out. "Bleh. What am I, a dog?"

"If you are, you're a very pretty one," a voice purred in his ear.

"And some people might take that tongue as an invitation," another voice murmured in his other ear.

"Hey, nice hair," said a third voice. "Have you tried using it as rope?"

Duo's third scream of the day ripped through the entire street.

Just inside the café door, Heero, with his fingers stuck in his ears, smirked even wider and slipped into the bathroom at the back. Step Four? No problem.

He waited.

Five minutes later, Duo, his hair coming out of his braid and clothes in a mess, hurtled into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him. He leaned against the door and simply panted, eyes wild.

Heero raised an eyebrow.

Duo jabbed a shaking, accusing finger at him. "You!" he exclaimed.

Heero tilted his head to the side, looking puzzled.

The voice in Duo's head immediately went, _Aw, isn't he adorable?_

_Shut up, bunny-boy, now is not the time._

His mental bunny grumbled. _When is it ever the time?_

_I'll let you know. Now shut up._

He jabbed once more in Heero's direction for good measure. "You let me get mobbed by homosexual bondage freaks! What the hell were you doing all this time in a bathroom, anyway!"

Heero stared, and then pointed at one of the stalls.

"Oh. Yeah." Duo was temporarily derailed. "Well, be faster next time!"

"What happened?"

"What _happened_? I'll tell you what happened! There were all these men grabbing me and giving me lewd proposals… did you know, one wanted to play with my hair! And if that weren't enough, they wanted to play _bondage_ with my hair! Oh, and _then_ they suggested something about dildos and _my hair_!"

Heero was having a really hard time concealing his smirk. Somehow he managed it. "Oh dear."

"I'll give you 'oh dear'," Duo muttered.

"You have something against homosexuals?"

_No, mainly because I'm one myself…but I can't let you know that now, can I?_ Duo just shook his head. "I don't, but getting mobbed by them? No thank you."

Heero wondered at the slight relief that he felt at Duo's words. _Why would I care about his opinion? _He pushed that feeling and that thought out of his mind as he watched Duo cross over to the mirror and wince at his reflection.

"Great, my braid's a mess." Duo pulled off the tie and slid it around his wrist, then finger-combed his hair out, still ranting, but his words faded into the background as Heero caught the first traces of Duo's shampoo. It smelt… nice. Soft and not at all invading like some perfumes; a trace of vanilla, some wildflowers…

He didn't realize he'd moved from his position near the wall to stand right behind Duo, who trailed off when he realized Heero not only wasn't listening, he was standing behind him. Duo didn't speak, though, only watched with wide eyes as Heero lifted a hand to run his fingers through the strands.

_It's still so soft, even with the dye…_ Guilt ran through Heero, then, for the dye trick. _What if I'd ruined his hair?_ He moved his hand higher, running his fingers through the hair down the length of Duo's back.

Duo almost purred with the feeling. _So gentle… is that what Heero's like when he lets his guard down?_ Suddenly he wanted so badly to touch Heero as well, to feel the strength underneath the gentleness.

Then Heero realized what he was doing, and dropped his hand like Duo's hair was poison. With a curse under his breath, he backed away, not meeting Duo's gaze in the mirror as he said aloud, "I'll wait for you outside."

He fled.

Duo stared at the closed door, the memory of Heero's hands stroking his hair still lingering. "Ah, damn," he sighed. "I'm losing it, aren't I?"

_You're not supposed to get involved with him,_ his mental rabbit reminded him. _Remember Quatre the split personality blond? He'd kill you. And you'd lose not only a place to stay, but part of your income._

"I _know_," Duo grumbled as he began braiding his hair. "But… he might be worth it…"

_Or you might let yourself get hurt, all over again._

He let out a slow breath, staring at the green hair in his hands. "Yeah," he said softly. "And I swore never to be so stupid, didn't I?"

Done with his hair, he took a deep breath and winked at himself in the mirror. "No getting attached, Duo old boy," he reminded himself. "Especially to someone so cold as Heero Yuy."

Bringing his smile back up, Duo bounded out of the bathroom in search of his roommate.

* * *

"Tadaima!" Duo called cheerfully as he opened the door to their apartment.

"There's no one in the house, Maxwell."

"I know, but it gives me that nice warm feeling…" Duo turned to grin at Heero, but his grin faltered as the Japanese man moved to his study without a word. He watched as Heero opened the door, and retrieved a box from inside.

"Catch," was the only warning Duo got before the box was tossed at him.

"Oof, what's in this?" Duo held up the box and rattled it, hearing metallic sounds from inside. "Ooh, a present for me? You're too kind, Heero!"

He opened the box.

Inside it… was his amplifier. In pieces.

_Oh, shit._

Duo looked up at Heero, feigning puzzled innocence. "What's this?"

Heero's glare made Duo cringe. _Ooh, that's scary._

"You _know_ what it is," Heero snapped. "Don't pretend otherwise." Then his glare changed to a small smirk as he added, "Take it as my last gift to you, today." _Phase One, final step: complete._

"Last… gift? Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no…" A horrified look slowly spread across Duo's face, along with realization. "Your behaviour today – the dye, the gay masochists…"

"You wake me up with ice cold water – I wake you up with ice cold water. You ruin my kitchen – I ruin your hair. You cause me to be harassed by firemen – I cause you to be harassed by, as you put it, gay masochists. I found that amplifier last night, and since you used it to irritate me – I give it back to you in pieces." Heero shrugged. "Never let it be said that I am unfair. An eye for an eye, Maxwell."

Duo was shaking his head slowly in unwilling admiration, a half-grin on his lips. "That's… almost poetic, really. Man, you had me fooled, Yuy! I _thought_ your behaviour this morning was entirely out of character for you, but I wrote it off as my not knowing you well… seems like my first impression is still spot-on."

Heero raised an eyebrow. "You're right. I am who I am, and you cannot change that. Quatre couldn't, all these years he knew me – I'm surprised he thought _you_ can."

Duo gaped at him.

"Yes, Maxwell. I know about your deal with him. I heard your phone call in the kitchen yesterday."

"So… all this…" Duo gestured at the amplifier, then pulled his hair over his shoulder to stare mournfully at it. "I see. But did you have to involve my hair? She's an innocent bystander!"

"So was my kitchen," Heero countered.

Duo grabbed his braid in his fist and flopped it at Heero. "But my hair! What did she ever do to you?"

"You murdered my kitchen, Maxwell," Heero said, eyes narrowed. "Be glad I didn't chop your hair off."

Duo gasped in horror and cradled his braid protectively. "You wouldn't!"

"No, I wouldn't," Heero agreed without missing a beat, to Duo's surprise. "Since we're even now."

They stared at each other for a moment. Then –

"Open war?"

"Open war."

They shook hands. Heero then retreated to his study, while Duo went to his bedroom and flipped open his phone. He had to call Quatre; the blond had some wicked ideas.

Open war had been declared – no mercy would be given.

* * *

"Hello?"

"It's me, Quat."

"Duo! How's your day been? Any progress?"

"Well – it depends on your point of view…"

* * *

"Barton speaking."

"Trowa. Were you in on it?"

"…I'm sorry, Heero. I tried to stop him."

"And?"

"He made me sleep on the couch for a week."

"Ouch. Alright. Now?"

"Back in bed. I still can't –"

"We've declared open war."

"…Ah. That changes things. I'll call Wufei."

"The old place, in an hour."

"Done. See you there."

"Likewise."

* * *

"Trowa, love?"

The tall, green-eyed Latino turned to face his blond lover. "Yes, Quatre?"

The smaller man gave him the hurt-puppy look, blue eyes wide. "Well, I was thinking, we don't spend much time with each other nowadays…"

Trowa's lips twitched.

Quatre huffed. "Oh, alright, we don't spend as much time together as I'd like."

"Kitten, to spend any more time together we'd have to be glued to each other."

"Even so…" Quatre leaned against the doorframe, angling his body to show it off. "Being glued together sounds… _fun_."

Trowa had to smile at that. "I'd love to, normally, but I have to say… you're too late, Quatre." He held up his phone and smirked.

The blond immediately lost his seductive air and threw up his hands. "Well, it was worth a try," he said grumpily to his amused lover, and then fished his phone out of his pocket and put it to his ear. "Hello, Duo – stop _laughing_, I was doing it to help you – Duo! …Better. Okay, so he's officially on Heero's side, now – hmm, maybe…"

"Wufei, too," Trowa put in helpfully.

Quatre made a face at him. "Drat, they move fast – they've already gotten Wufei, he's Heero's other friend. Well, I'm out of options for now – let's get together and discuss it. There's this restaurant… hmm? Oh, okay, I'll look for it. Meet you there in, say, an hour? Perfect. Okay, see you later!"

Trowa moved to wrap his arms around his lover, resting his chin on Quatre's head, as the blond kept his phone. "Since it's open war, and all's fair… I still have half an hour before I have to leave."

Quatre turned in his arms to smile at him. "I should punish you, you know," he informed Trowa with mock severity.

Trowa smirked. "Then by all means, punish me… if you can."

"What do you mean, if I – _mmph_. Mmm…"

* * *

More about Duo's past is revealed! And some nice 3x4 action here… ever since I watched the anime recently I've fallen in love with Tro, too. I grin happily.

**Next Chap:** All five G-boys finally appear! And now the real chaos can ensue.

Please tell me what you liked or disliked here? I'm always open to new ideas and critique – in fact, I need them, seeing as how I'm running out of ideas to keep this thing humourous. Thanks! And thank you to all those wonderful people who reviewed previously. I'm really glad you liked the story so far; hope this chapter continues that trend?

**Ashen Skies  
**"_No mercy would be given."_


	7. Chaos at Codfish's

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Wing, have any relation to Gundam Wing, have no permission from those who created Gundam Wing to write this. This is purely for fun, to waste time, and to make other people happy reading and to spread the joy of slashy literature to all those poor unenlightened Fellow Man out there. I am making no profit from this.

**Pairings: **2x1x2, side pairing 3x4

**Summary:** Heero was perfectly happy as a workaholic recluse, but then Quatre declared War on him and suddenly there's a sugar-high American at his door, messing up the house and showing him that maybe, he hadn't been that happy after all...

* * *

**Roommate: Unwanted**

_Chapter Seven: Chaos at Codfish's _

_

* * *

_

_Codfish's_ was a cosy little restaurant that sold, contrary to its name, not one whit of codfish. It had a veranda all around the main bulk of its restaurant, for people who liked the fresh air; inside the building there was a distinctly countryside feel, with trailing ivy on trellises and glass windows framed with wood designs that let the brisk sunlight in. The electric lights were soft, but bright. Duo loved the place, and often went there to relax and think. Lately though, he hadn't had the time or the resources.

So when he was informed regretfully by the waiter that there were no more tables, he couldn't hide all of his disappointment. Dredging up a smile, he tried one more time: "Is there anyone leaving soon, maybe? I could wait, or maybe share a table… there's only two of us, and you have quite large tables."

The waiter shook his head. "I'm sorry, sir," he said, honest sympathy in his eyes, "but this is our peak dinner hour, and most people tend to take quite long, or be averse to sharing tables."

"Oh." Duo bit his lip, and then gave his brightest smile. "It's all right, I guess – wouldn't want to give you any trouble. Thanks."

"I apologize for the trouble, sir."

Duo waved a dismissive hand with a reassuring smile. "Nah, no worries, it's not your fault." He turned to leave, shoulders drooping a little, smile faltering.

"Excuse me – if you'd like, we could share a table…? There's only three of us."

He turned, hope relighting in his eyes, and his gaze fell on a young Chinese man, who gave him a small smile. "It's a table for four, but like you said they have large tables, and I think we can fit five easily."

Duo fairly beamed. "Are you sure? Would your friends mind?"

The Chinese man shrugged. "If they do, they know better than to protest, being late. But knowing them, they'd be all too glad to help out."

His high spirits regained like they'd never been gone, Duo grinned at his new friend. "Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome." There was a pause, and then he said, "Um, I might be hallucinating, but is your hair… green?"

Duo had hidden his braid inside his jacket, and most of the remaining visible hair in a cap put on backwards, but he couldn't do anything about the bangs. He grinned sheepishly. "Uh… long story. Trust me, I don't do this often."

"Ah. Shall we get to our table, then?"

The waiter smiled at them both. "I'll come by to take your orders in a few minutes."

Duo grinned back at the waiter, and then followed the Chinese man as he led them to a table for four, in a spacious corner. "I really appreciate this," Duo said cheerfully. "I've missed this place so much, but lately I've just never found the time to come over."

"I like this place, too," the Chinese man replied. "My friends and I come here whenever we meet up, if possible; it reminds us of the old times, just the three of us."

"It holds sentimental value for me, too," Duo agreed.

They sat down opposite each other; the waiter came to place a chair at the head of the table next to them, to the Chinese man's left and Duo's right. As the waiter left, Duo held out his hand. "I don't believe I know the name of my benefactor, yet," he said, grinning.

An amused smile accompanied the handshake. "Chang Wufei, Chang being my surname," Wufei said.

"Nice to meet you, Wufei! I'm Duo… Max… well?" He trailed off as the back half of his brain smacked the front half with a sign that had Wufei's name scrawled on it in huge red letters and a lot of exclamation marks. "Wait – _Wufei_?"

"_Duo Maxwell_?" Wufei said at the same time in the same incredulous tones.

They dropped each other's hand like it had cooties.

Duo pointed an accusing finger at Wufei. "Wufei!" he exclaimed.

Wufei glared. "Maxwell," he acknowledged.

And then…

"_Maxwell_?"

Duo turned and yelped. "_Yuy_!"

"Maxwell?" The green-eyed man next to Heero blinked, and then looked at Duo's table partner. "…Wufei?"

"Trowa," Wufei muttered in greeting.

"_Trowa_?" Duo repeated, knowing that it was Quatre's lover's name.

Heero switched his stare from Duo to the Chinese man. "Wufei? _Maxwell_?"

"Heero," was Wufei's curt reply.

"Trowa? Heero? _Duo?_"

"Quatre!" Duo said in relief, seeing his friend approach.

"Quatre?" The green-eyed man, apparently called Trowa, turned to look at the newly arrived blond with surprise.

The blond got his first good look at the table, and his mouth dropped open. "Wufei? _Duo_?"

Wufei's sigh was one of resignation. "Quatre."

Heero glared at the blond. "Quatre –"

"_Spongebob Squarepants_!"

A brief silence fell in the entire restaurant.

The waiter was blushing furiously with embarrassment, but he coughed and said loudly, "May I take your orders, sirs?"

Feeling the entire restaurant's gazes upon them, Quatre hastily sat next to Duo and tugged Trowa into the seat at the head of the table, leaving Heero to take the seat next to Wufei and opposite Quatre. He did so, glowering. Menus were handed out accordingly, and five pairs of unwilling eyes focused on the neat print.

Since he already knew what he wanted – he'd tried most of the food here, and had a favourite dish of his own – Duo used the time to look over at his adversary. Irrational irritation grew with each nanosecond that Heero kept the constipated look on his face, and Duo finally gave in to the urge to do something about it. He narrowed his eyes, determining the direction and angle, and then kicked out vehemently.

"OW!"

Four pairs of eyes – three confused, and the remaining one also confused but slowly filling with horrified realization – turned to stare at a red-faced Wufei, who was bent at an awkward angle, rubbing at his shin. With the unerring instinct of prey whose friend had just been eaten, the three pairs of eyes turned to Duo.

He assumed the most unthreatening look he could, hoping that his eyes were wide and simply _sparkling_ with confused innocence. Reaching over to the table next to them, he speared a piece of meat with his fork and held it up with a winning smile. "Chicken?"

"Duo," Quatre began, frowning – and then yelped in pain, twisting in his chair to bring his legs out from under the table. "Owowowowow!"

Wufei winced. "Ah, crap – sorry, Quatre, I was aiming for Maxwell…"

"Since when was your aim so bad?" Trowa demanded, glaring at him. "I have a good mind to kick you again."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"You just kicked _Quatre_, what do you think?"

"I think you both should be quiet."

"Oh, like you're one to talk – you started this mess after all, Heero."

"_Me_?"

"Yes, you! I bet Maxwell was aiming for _your_ leg and got me instead –"

"Who was the one sitting with him when we arrived, I'd like to know!"

"Um, Quatre?" Duo said worriedly, watching his friend as the three bickered in the background. He got no response; the blond's head was lowered, and he was shaking a little. The American hesitated, and then leaned over, reaching out to touch his shoulder. He froze in mind-motion, however, when Quatre's head snapped up and furious blue eyes fixed on his hand.

The other three fell silent, watching in horror. One thought ran through their minds: _oh, no. Here we go again._

With a growl, Quatre chomped on Duo's hand.

The American let out a yell, snatching his hand back as Quatre let out a war cry and turned on the other three men frozen in their chairs. There was a movement under the table, and then Wufei leapt up with a surprisingly girly shriek, clutching his foot. Trowa and Heero, startled into action, tried to stand as well – but went down with twin cries as Quatre casually tipped the table on its side. Heero, at least, had managed to slip away just in time to avoid being crushed under the table, but a fork had stuck through his shirt into the wood floor and he couldn't get it out, and besides he'd gotten tangled up in the tablecloth like Trowa had.

"Why – can't – we – all – just – get – _along_?" Quatre demanded between plates. Plates, as in throwing them – which he was, from his vantage point on a chair. At Wufei, who was running around the restaurant avoiding the porcelain missiles, ducking and doing weird jumping movements with other people's chairs – empty ones, since their owners had long since abandoned them for the relative safety of the undersides of their tables. Most of the plates ended up shattering against the walls, but a few managed to graze Wufei due to Quatre's sharp eye and good aim.

"Quatre, love, light of my life, please –" Trowa tried from underneath the tablecloth he was trying to wrestle out of. A plate shattered next to his head and he shut up.

"Like you're one to talk, Trowa Barton! You got me all aroused and _then_ you left me hanging, saying something about _revenge_ for making you sleep on the couch – which you'll be doing for the next _month_, by the way!" Quatre snapped, and then turned to look for his Chinese target. "Wufei! You shin-kicking plebeian, come out!"

From underneath one of the tables, Wufei tried a reassuring smile at the couple of diners sheltering there as well. "You'll have to forgive my friend – he gets a bit high strung at times when he sees people not getting along – _AIEEE_!"

With wide eyes, the couple watched him get dragged bodily out from under the table by his leg. When he had vanished from sight past the veil of the tablecloth, the man turned to the woman. "Aren't you glad I don't try to kill you every time you leave me hanging?" he said weakly, trying a little humour – their relationship had been on the rocks for a few months now, and he didn't know what to do… he'd bought her a ring, but things had gone downhill and he'd never found a chance to give it to her.

The woman eyed the place where Wufei had last vanished. "Yes, but all that strength… that passion… that _spontaneity_. He must be _amazing_ in bed."

There was a moment of silence.

"He is, actually," came a voice from outside.

The woman flushed bright red as she realized that the sounds of shattering plates and screaming had ceased, and her comment had probably been heard by the entire restaurant.

"Trowa!" The yelp sounded scandalized. "Oh – you managed to get out of the tablecloth – _mmph. Mmm_… wait, wait, I know what you're doing! You're just trying to distract me!"

"You were right, I was wrong to leave you hanging just now… let me rectify that immediately," came the silky reply.

"Don't you dare – _mmm. Unh… mmm._ Oh, _Trowa_… _yes, god, there…_"

Suddenly embarrassed, the woman shifted uncomfortably – only to be distracted by her partner clearing his throat. When she looked over at him, he was loosening his tie with a decided gleam in his eye. "You want spontaneity? I'll give you _spontaneity_."

He pounced.

Duo, who was nursing his hand in an unobtrusive corner, watched with wide eyes as Trowa and Quatre made out in the middle of the restaurant, with increasing sound effects from under the tables – more than one table, and oh, his ears, he was going to have to wash them with _acid _– adding to theirs. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Heero emerge from behind the upturned table, holding a – a fork? – triumphantly in the air. It dropped from stunned fingers as he stared at the scene unfolding before him. Duo watched as deep blue eyes traveled around the room to stop on him.

"This is all somehow your fault," Heero accused, glaring.

Duo glared back. "Well if you hadn't looked in need of a good hard kick to get that look off your face this wouldn't have happened at all!"

"So it _was_ you!"

The look he received was one of blank incredulity. "Duh."

Heero growled and got up, stalking the few steps to reach Duo – who had also scrambled to his feet to face him. Hating the fact that he was just that bit shorter than Duo, Heero got right into his personal space and managed to stare down his nose at him, despite having to actually look up. "I wouldn't be surprised if you picked this place because you knew I'd be here," he snapped.

Duo rolled his eyes. "And I wouldn't be surprised if you think the world revolves around you, Yuy! I happen to like this place, alright? I've hung out around here for as long as I can remember."

"Well, now all of us can forget about coming back here," Heero bit out.

"No kidding." Duo tilted his head a little to look at Quatre and Trowa. "Does this happen often? Quatre going all… you know."

"Only when something triggers it off. Mostly it's when his friends aren't getting along… he really hates that, and it does something to him. There's a story behind it, but I'm not telling _you_ of all people."

Duo shrugged easily. "Hey, no worries… I'm not asking you. If it's Quatre's story, it's his to tell. I like him the way he is."

Heero opened his mouth to say something, but then realized that all the scathing, angry words that had been on the tip of his tongue just a few seconds ago had gone. The irritation was there, the embarrassment was there, the anger was there… but it was all slowly fading in the face of that easy grin and those telling words – _it's his to tell_.

The American watched him struggling with words for a moment, and grinned wider despite himself. _Aw… he's so cute and kittenish when he's trying to be all angry._ _It makes me want to take him home and just cuddle him._

_Cuddle him the way the tall guy's doing to the blondie, you mean?_

Duo mentally swatted the bunny. _Shut up. I'm not doing anything of the sort with Heero Yuy of all people… I like my men flexible, and he's as stiff as can be._

_Mmm… stiff, huh?_

_Shut up!_

"What are you grinning at?"

He couldn't help it – he laughed, and with a sudden inspiration derived from his sudden good mood, he reached down in a quick movement, grabbed the plate of chicken off the table next to them and speared a forkful. "Here."

"What? _Mmph!_"

Duo grinned amiably at him. "Tastes good, doesn't it?" He ate a bite himself and moaned his pleasure, taking amusement from the way Heero averted his eyes.

"_Oh god, Yuy, not you too!_"

They blinked at each other for a moment, both mouths full of chicken, and then it dawned on them what they must have looked and sounded like to Wufei, standing a distance away. Heero spun around so fast he lost his balance. "Wait, Wufei –"

"Whoa, easy there!" Duo caught Heero just in time, but they ended up falling to the ground together since he was too close to the Japanese man to be able to balance the both of them. The position they ended up in was a very… compromising one, however, and proved to be the last straw Wufei's scarred, rather conservative mind could take.

They watched him faint in a vaguely amused sort of resignation.

"Well, hell." Heero looked at Duo, eyebrow raised. "It's your mess, Maxwell. Clean it up."

Duo smiled up at him, feeling a surprisingly lethargic sense of peace. "Like the kitchen?"

"Like the kitchen," Heero confirmed, lips twitching.

"Like the paint?"

"Like the paint. You did say you were good at cleaning up."

"I did?"

"Oh yes. It was when you said you were going to be the best roommate ever."

"I said that, didn't I?"

"You did indeed."

"Guess I'm going to have to live up to it then."

"I'll be waiting to see what brilliant idea you'll come up with."

They untangled themselves, and Duo stood up to survey the restaurant. "Hmm…" He stuck two fingers in his mouth and let out the most ear-piercing whistle Heero had ever heard.

A silence fell. Quatre and Trowa stopped to turn and stare at Duo.

"Uh… everyone? If you don't come out from under there… your food's going to get cold."

There was another silence. Then Duo was aware of a muffled sound behind him; when he turned, he was greeted with a sight that shocked him as well as warmed him.

Heero Yuy, cold calculating mastermind and overall humourless bastard… was laughing so hard he was doubled over, clutching his stomach. The look on his face the most open, most unrestricted one Duo had ever seen, and it made his chest constrict in a way he recognized and had sworn to himself, a long time ago, he'd never let himself feel again.

Watching Heero, though, he couldn't bring himself to care much about that oath.

"_That_… is your… _brilliant_… idea?" Heero gasped through his laughter.

"Brilliant enough," Duo murmured, smiling.

When they were thrown out of the restaurant ten minutes later, Quatre and Wufei dark red with embarrassment and Trowa his own stoic self, Duo was still smiling, and Heero's eyes were still bright with laughter, though his expression was smoothly blank. Purple eyes met deep blue ones, and some understanding passed between them.

"All I did was try to kick you… and look at the mess that resulted," Duo said lightly.

"Imagine what would happen if we tried anything really big," Heero agreed.

As the other three watched on in varying levels of disbelief, Duo held out his hand. "Truce?"

"Truce," Heero agreed, taking the offered hand.

"_Truce!_" Wufei burst out. "After all that – I thought you two couldn't _stand_ –"

Heero and Duo turned mildly surprised expressions on him. "Why, Wufei, we meant a truce in public," Duo said.

"Obviously," Heero added.

"_Obviously?_ Since when?" It was Quatre's turn to be bewildered.

Trowa, however, simply smiled and placed placating hands on both his friends' shoulders. "Quatre, Wufei… we really should get going." Gently he steered them towards his car, and called over his shoulder, "If you two need help, do call us."

"See you later, Trowa."

"Will do, Tro-man!"

"Tro-man!" Wufei sputtered, trying to twist around to stare at Duo and Heero again, but Trowa gently but firmly shoved him into the back seat. He helped Quatre into the front seat, and then got in the driver's side and started the engine.

"Let's go for lunch somewhere else, shall we?"

"Trowa – you can't really be planning on leaving them here! Together! Look at what happened just now –"

"Wufei… Quatre. Just now they didn't _do_ anything. It was all us. Look at them now, and tell me it's a bad idea."

They dutifully looked.

The two were standing in the middle of the parking lot, simply talking. They could make out Duo's teasing grin and the… _relaxed_ set of Heero's face. Heero said something, smirking, and Duo made to kick him half-heartedly.

"No way," Quatre said at last.

"Absolutely none," Wufei said faintly.

Trowa shook his head. "Oh, they aren't friends, not by a long shot… but they understand each other now, in some way. There's going to be some spectacular pranking going on between them in private… but outside? Who knows."

There was a moment of contemplative silence.

Then Quatre started laughing. "I think… I think, Trowa, that I got more than I bargained for with Duo Maxwell."

"I think… that's a very good thing, actually. His life needs some shaking up."

"And I," Wufei grumbled, "think that Yuy will be lucky if he can get out of this with his house intact."

"Oh, well said, my friend!"

* * *

Okay… this chapter really got away from me. The ending's so far from what I'd planned that it isn't even funny.

**Next Chap:** Some light-hearted pranking in the name of good fun! And the long awaited (or rather, dreaded) girls appear.

Any critique (and I think there's going to a quite a bit about the OOCness of things… sorry about that in advance) is welcome! And for any pins you want to stick in me for dying on you all these few months… I offer my arm to you. Just stay away from the fingers, please? I need them to type.

Thank you for reading!

**Ashen Skies  
**"_Guess I'm going to have to live up to it then."_


	8. It's All Good

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Wing, have any relation to Gundam Wing, have no permission from those who created Gundam Wing to write this. This is purely for fun, to waste time, and to make other people happy reading and to spread the joy of slashy literature to all those poor unenlightened Fellow Man out there. I am making no profit from this.

**Pairings: **2x1x2, side pairing 3x4

**Summary:** Heero was perfectly happy as a workaholic recluse, but then Quatre declared War on him and suddenly there's a sugar-high American at his door, messing up the house and showing him that maybe, he hadn't been that happy after all...

* * *

**Roommate: Unwanted**

_Chapter Eight: It's All Good_

* * *

"How is the steak, Heero?"

"The steak is good, Maxwell. How do you find your salad?"

"The salad is good, Heero. So is the soup. It's all good."

"That is good to know, Maxwell. I too find myself enjoying my meal immensely. It is a good meal."

"Really? That's good. I just thought, you know, what with that strained expression…"

"I might say the same of your awkward movements with your utensils, Maxwell. Have you hurt your wrist? You haven't made any headway with your steak at all."

Duo smiled sweetly at Heero, fighting down the grin that was trying to break out at the glitter of suppressed laughter in Heero's attempt at a stoic face. "My wrist is fine, Heero, thank you for your concern."

"Good, good."

"The meat just seems rather… hard, today."

"Does it?" Heero neatly cut another piece of the meat before him and delicate ate it off his fork. "It seems fine to me."

There was a pause. Then Duo couldn't take it anymore, and burst into laughter. He dropped his amazingly malleable knife and fork – it had been _such_ a challenge trying to spear the salad, and trying to use the spoon to drink the soup hadn't been much better either, and the steak was _impossible_ – and gave in to the laughter, letting his forehead thunk down onto the table. "I can't – believe – you kept a – straight face – watching me eat," he managed to say through his laughter.

"The steak almost did me in," Heero agreed, and there was a definite undercurrent of amusement in his voice.

Duo sensed Heero carefully pushing his chair back, and sat up to watch as Heero turned the chair over and peered at it. "Ah," Heero said finally, setting the chair back down, though to one side of the table. "A very careful job. It stands up to being moved around, but when actual weight is placed on it… I hope you're going to replace it, Maxwell."

Duo waved a hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, of course." He grinned suddenly. "I'm amazed you managed to sense it in the first place, but what I'm completely in awe of is how you managed to keep your weight off it for a good twenty minutes. What are you, a robot? A normal person's legs would give out in that position in less than five minutes!"

Heero raised an eyebrow. "I'm not a normal person," he said mildly as he moved over to the row of drawers by the sink.

Duo snorted. "I figured that out ages ago." He reached behind him and snagged the remaining chair in Heero's original set of four from under the protruding counter, and dragged it over to the small table they were eating at.

Heero returned to the table at the same time and dropped a _real_ knife-and-fork pair by Duo's plate, before pulling the chair to his own place at the table and sitting down properly. He gave Duo a tiny smile. "It does feel good to sit, though," he admitted. "The muscle fatigue was starting to pile up."

"So that _was_ strain on your face. I wasn't sure." Duo toasted Heero with his glass of water. "I lost today, so congratulations on your muscles of steel."

Heero's lips twitched. "I don't know, I'd say the switching of the hot and cold faucets was pretty inspired."

"I liked the constant flushing of the toilet while you were bathing, myself."

Heero snorted. "Yeah. I remember. Diarrhoea, my ass."

"Well, _my_ ass."

"Oh, that was bad. That was really bad."

Duo laughed, and set about eating his steak. "Hey, this is pretty good," he said through a mouthful of meat. "Perfectly medium rare. And the mushroom sauce! Is this your lady-killer recipe, Heero? Invite them over and serve it up, and bam! Instant love. They eat your sauce, you eat _them_."

Heero raised an eyebrow. "Crude, but effective imagery. I don't invite people over for dinner, Maxwell."

"What, not even Quat and Tro-man and Wuffie?"

"Very rarely. We usually meet outside in one of their attempts to get me to socialize." Heero thought for a moment. "In fact, I can't remember the last time I actually cooked for someone."

Duo's grin was wide. "Really? Cool. I'm honoured." He waved a fork at Heero. "I'll make you my knock-out pasta sauce one day."

"Your own lady-killer recipe, I presume?"

"You know it!" Duo winked at him.

_More like 'man-killer' recipe,_ the mental bunny grumbled. _And when are we going to get around to eating _him_, I'd like to know?_

_Quatre the psycho protective blond!_ Duo reminded the bunny. _There will be no eating of men in this household!_

_Then rent a hotel room,_ the bunny suggested.

"Maxwell!"

"Yessir!" Duo jerked to attention, startled. Unfortunately, he was still holding his fork, with the meat speared on it.

The two of them watched in mute silence as the little square of beef sailed gaily across the kitchen and landed with a _splat_ on the number twelve on the clock. They watched it slide down the glass, hit the clock frame, and leap off into a freefall onto the floor, where it went _splat_ again.

"……" Heero's expression was unreadable.

_Even if we're not trying to get him to like us, this is going a bit too far!_ the bunny wailed.

_It's your fault, with your distracting talk of eating men!_ Duo snapped mentally. He coughed lightly, and when Heero turned to stare blankly at him, he gave the other man his prized Yes, I Just Ate The Cookies In The Cookie Jar, But I Was Really Adorable Doing It And I'm Really Adorable Now, Aren't I? smile. "Oops?"

The blank mask cracked a little, and Heero shook his head with a sigh. There was definite amusement in those eyes, though, where a week ago there would only have been irritation and perhaps anger. "Just clean it up, Maxwell."

Duo's heart warmed at the sight, and gave a little thump. Bad heart, bad! "Sure thing, boss-man!" he said cheerfully, and made to salute. Heero seized his wrist before it could get up to shoulder level, and Duo was delighted to hear him laugh a little.

"I was afraid the fork was going to fly next, or that you might stab your eyebrow," he informed Duo, letting his wrist go.

"But Heero, a stabbed eyebrow would be so cool! People would flock to my scar, and I can tell them I got injured bravely fighting off muggers attacking a poor old woman." Duo batted his eyelashes at Heero. "You're already impressed, I can tell!"

"Yes, very," Heero agreed solemnly. "So impressed, in fact, that I would like to offer you the honour of cleaning up my clock."

"Yeah, I'm to clean your clock, alright," Duo said with a faux-evil leer, cracking his knuckles. "What would you like to start with? A broken nose? A split lip?"

Heero gave him a Look.

"Hey, you made the pun, not me," Duo said, grinning madly.

"Just go clean up, will you?" was the exasperated reply.

Duo considered his options, and then decided not to push it. He'd found that he could get Heero to respond, to lighten up, by teasing him a little and keeping at it subtly, but past a certain stage the Japanese man would just get annoyed. "Sure thing," he said, standing up and grabbing some towels.

_You know, I'd really like to clean his… clock,_ the bunny said thoughtfully, with special emphasis.

_What? What are you – oh. Ohh. Oh, my._ Duo fought back the mental images. _Are you trying to get me killed?_

_It's fun, though, isn't it?_

_If I go, you go,_ he thought threateningly as he wiped the clock face. Then his attention was caught by another detail. "Hey – Heero?"

"Yes, Maxwell?" came Heero's voice from behind him, rather too patiently.

"Did someone give you this clock as a present?" Duo asked as he let the towels drop, fiddling with the clock frame.

There was a delay in reply, in which Duo assumed Heero was chewing. "Yes," he said at last. "Why?"

"Oh… nothing." The frame came loose, and Duo triumphantly pulled out what he'd found.

"Nothing?" Heero's voice was suspicious.

"Definitely nothing," Duo agreed absently. He unfolded the piece of paper in his fingers and began to read.

"Maxwell…" There was the scrape of a chair, signalling Heero getting up, but by then Duo wasn't paying attention to him anymore as violet eyes quickly scanned through the lines. "What are you – give me that!"

Duo let him snatch the paper away, partly because he was too stunned to resist, especially after he'd read the last few lines of the note – including the name of the person who had written it. He stared at Heero with wide, disbelieving eyes. "You – that note –"

Heero was glaring furiously at him. "You had _no right_ to read this," he bit out.

"I thought it was – some kind of prank. I mean," Duo swallowed, "If people hide notes around your house it's normally for fun, right?"

"No one would do that in _my_ place. Haven't you learned that by now?"

"I didn't –"

"Feel free to leave this apartment any time you wish to," Heero said coldly. He shoved past Duo, out of the kitchen. A moment later Duo heard the door to the soundproof room slam shut – that door had a distinctive sound, so he could tell.

Well, shit.

"And it was going so well, too," Duo muttered. They'd been pranking each other for the past week, since the Codfish's incident, but the pranks were all light-hearted and pretty harmless, like dyeing Heero's underwear and socks pink or when Heero had put some awful, sour and bitter fruit (at least, Heero claimed it was a fruit, but Duo had vehemently protested the likelihood of any fruit being this inedible) in all his food, and he'd eaten every bit of it because of his pride.

And because, he had to admit, he'd loved seeing the light in Heero's eyes as he'd fought to hold in his laughter. Duo had pulled all his most hilarious faces, and he knew a great many of them.

He'd never regretted being the fun one, the cheerful one, the one undeterred by any harsh comments and snide insults. He bulled forward regardless of anything, and wasn't shy – not about poking into other people's business, even. He'd never regretted living his life the way he did, but this time, he cursed himself for being the way that he'd become.

_Stupid_, his bunny commented, unusually sombre.

_Yes,_ he thought back. It had been stupid. He'd known Heero was anal about his privacy, hadn't he? The man had even made himself a private space within the already private space of his home, for goodness' sake. Sure, he was learning to take jokes and teasing better, but – he was still learning, still opening up.

Did the note make any difference, though? Duo examined his own feelings, and concluded that it didn't. Whatever had happened in Heero's past was the past, and Heero was still Heero. That didn't change.

No wonder he was like this, though. With a childhood like that, he was surprised Heero wasn't in some mental institution somewhere.

Either way, he wasn't going to leave. He _liked_ Heero, as a person and a friend. The other man was blunt, and unsociable, but that was just how he was, because he knew no other way to be. Duo was teaching him by example, and Heero was proving to a surprisingly apt student. He was also smart, and underneath his cold mask he was quite sensitive when need be, like when they had first met and he had let Duo stay, reacting to that slip in Duo's own façade.

_You like him as more than a friend,_ Duo's bunny pointed out. _You're just scared, coward._

Yeah, he was beginning to like Heero as more than a friend. But yeah, he was also scared, and not only for himself, but also for Heero.

If they got together, would Heero be cursed as well? He didn't want that, he didn't want that at all.

For now though – Heero wasn't anywhere near ready for a relationship. That was a problem for another time. Now, all Duo had to concentrate on was their friendship. He would make Heero admit that they were friends if it killed him.

His mind made up, Duo began cleaning the kitchen, wiping the clock and the floor as well as washing the dishes. There was still a bit of food left, but somehow Duo didn't feel hungry anymore. Neither did Heero, he suspected, so he just threw the leftovers away, since there wasn't much.

He'd let Heero cool down, and finish fixing his amplifier, because Heero probably wasn't going to come out of his room any time soon. Anyway, it would be easier to have the talk if they weren't face-to-face. Duo sighed to himself, life was getting more and more complicated.

On the bright side, at least he'd found someone with a shittier personal life than his.

* * *

Heero leaned against the door, taking in deep meditative breaths, like he'd been taught. He gripped his emotions tight and reeled them in, until he was calm again, until he could think again.

All he could think, however, was: _damn_.

No one had ever found out, and then along came Maxwell with his inquisitive nose and loud mouth. The news would be everywhere by morning, and they would come for him, his friends would shun him, and his life would be over –

He was panicking again. He never panicked.

Calming himself down once more, Heero moved to his desk and sat down. He unclenched his fists, and put the crumpled note on the desk, smoothing it out with fingers that shook slightly. He thought he'd found all of them when he had moved; how could he have missed this one, when even an untrained civilian such as Maxwell could find it?

Logically, think logically. Perhaps it was because – yes, that was it. He'd been so focused on finding the impossible places that a note would be that he had missed the most obvious one, like the clock.

Holding the edges of the note down, he read it:

_Heero,_

_I know you will understand the lesson of this note. This will probably be the last one you will find, because you tend to over-think and complicate things. Sometimes the answers are right before you. All you have to do is reach out. There is more than meets the eye to many things, but some of the most important things in life are simpler than they are made out to be._

_Remember to practice with the longer blades. They might be harder to wield, but they can kill with one blow, unlike the daggers you favour._

_Odin_

Gods, Maxwell had read this note. Heero wasted a second hoping that Maxwell was a slow reader and hadn't gotten to the second part of the note, but then he remembered the wide eyes and he knew that it was futile.

Damn.

Why was he so upset at the thought of Maxwell moving out, or hating him, or even fearing him? It wasn't as if he wanted the loud idiot messing up his house and prying into his business. Okay, so the exchange of wits was fun, and it was kind of nice to have someone able to keep up with him, and Maxwell _was_ amusing, and he was smart enough to know when to push and when to back off… but he was still mostly a stranger. It wouldn't make much of a difference if he left. Would it?

He'd miss the idiot American, Heero realised with something approaching amazement. He would actually miss the other man's presence if it was gone. Somehow Maxwell had managed to become… important.

Damn.

They barely knew each other! Surely you couldn't start liking someone without knowing about them? Surely you couldn't be friends just like that?

It was pointless to think about these things. Maxwell would leave, that was a given. He shouldn't waste his time on the other man any longer. He needed to get as much done as he could before Maxwell went to the cops: funds transfer, fake IDs, data transfer…

There was a knock on the door. Or pounding, rather, because for it to even sound like a knock inside the room, it meant that whoever outside would have to be hitting really hard.

Heero reached for the nearest hidden compartment in the wall, which held a gun, if he remembered correctly. He was confused, though. Surely Maxwell couldn't have gotten the cops here _that_ quickly?

Then a voice filtered into the room. "A good evening to you folks in there! This is Duo Maxwell and his infiltrative amplifier, and we are live on air for your pleasure tonight!"

Heero just stared.

"Now, since this is a one-way talk thing, you can't talk back! So you'll just have to listen to me, hmm? Isn't that nice." Maxwell's voice was cheerful. "Okay, to start with – our dear resident grump Heero Yuy is our topic for the evening!"

Resident grump?

"About Heero Yuy. First of all, he is an anal-retentive, unsociable, rude guy who's scared to open up to people. Cliché, I know, but it's true! And, gosh, wouldn't you know it, he's damned secretive to boot."

Heero stood and strode across the room, scowling. He was reaching out to the handle and was about to open the door to give Maxwell a piece of his mind, when:

"But he can keep his secrets, and I'll keep them for him, too. I want to know about his past, sure, but only because I want to know him as he is now. He's as much of an idiot as I am, really; it's just that he doesn't admit it and I don't call him that to his face because it would hurt his poor ickle pride. Oh, oops, I just did. Don't be sad, Heero! We all still love you!"

Torn between laughter and righteous fury, Heero stood frozen.

"Anyway, earlier this evening, Heero said that his lovely, friendly and altogether wonderful roommate could move out whenever he wished to. This, my dear friends, is a Freudian slip. That's a slip of the tongue when you say what you're really thinking about, not what you wanted to say. Heero could have said, Move out now! But he didn't. And so his wonderful roommate is going to stay here as long as he likes, and you can't stop me! Mwahaha."

Maxwell… wasn't leaving? He wasn't afraid?

"And if you try to kick me out of the apartment, Heero, I'll cling onto your leg for dear life and I won't let go! I'll even use my teeth if I have to! I'll bawl my head off, and Mrs King and that old crab Gertrude will come out and start lecturing you on proper behaviour and the indecency of two men living together, and you'll be sorry!"

Heero winced. A painful threat, indeed.

"For what it's worth, I have a past too, you know. And it's not exactly a very nice past. So, again, for what it's worth I'm sorry I found out what I did, because I know I'd hate it if others found out stuff about me. And when you want to talk to me, I'll be here, because that's what friends do, right? But other than that, I'll try not to pry. No promises, though! You know what I'm like!"

Oh, that he did.

"But, you know, you might want to ease up on the death threats. I might really take you at your word."

Only Duo could take this sort of news so lightly. Heero had to laugh. It was relief and happiness all rolled into one, and he was a bit surprised at the happiness, because it had been so long since he'd felt something like it.

"Okay, right, I think I've said enough. Come out, come out, let's go get some supper! And if you don't come out within the next five seconds Mr Amplifier is going to go away, and Mr Lock Pick Set is going to take its place!"

He needed some actual confirmation, though. Taking a deep breath, Heero opened the door. Duo peered up at him from his cross-legged position on the floor. "Hey, Heero. Ice cream sound good?"

"You're really okay with sharing an apartment and being friends with the wanted protégé of the most infamous assassin in this era?" Heero said without preamble.

Duo blinked. "Wow, you sure don't beat around the bush."

"I want an answer."

The American shrugged. "You're you, and Odin is Odin. It's in the past. As long as you're not following in your adoptive father's footsteps now…" He paused, and looked suspiciously up at Heero. "Are you following in –"

"No."

"Then what do you do?" Duo asked interestedly. "Come on, man, spill!"

"I… write."

"You're a writer? Damn, no wonder you never have to go out to work! Just like me, yo, I'm a computer programmer. Working from home, nothing beats that." Duo looked excited. "You have a pen name? What kind of books do you write? Hey, maybe I read one of yours before! Wouldn't that be cool?"

Heero stared at him, baffled. "Is that all you have to say?"

Duo blinked again. "Uh, yeah. Why? I'm not going to ask for your autograph until I know what you write, you know. I may hate your writing, who knows."

Heero started to laugh. He covered his eyes with his hand while he continued to laugh. He'd been hiding for so long, worried that his cover would be blown, planning all sorts of things for this very moment – and then Duo Maxwell had come and messed it all up, and somehow made things okay.

"Uh, Heero, you're scaring me here. Hysterical laughter is the domain of madmen."

The Japanese man held up his other hand to forestall any more comments while he got himself under control, wiping the tears from his eyes – tears of laughter, and of relief. "You're one of a kind, Maxwell," he said finally.

"That's good to know. Killing me would mean the extinction of my species, so don't you dare try it. So… about supper?"

"Ice cream is fine."

Duo grinned. "Cool." He tried to get up, and winced. "Ooh, my legs are asleep. You idiot, why did you take so long to come out?"

"Why did you talk so much?" Heero countered. "In fact, that seems to be a permanent affliction with you." He held out a hand. "Come on."

Duo grasped the offered hand, and let Heero pull him to his feet. "Oh, the pins and needles are going to be hell. Better start walking; it's better than not moving, even if I can't feel my legs. Oh, and – don't you think it's about time you stopped calling me Maxwell? I mean, we just had a heart-to-heart talk and everything." He considered this. "Okay, we had a heart-to-heart radio chat session."

"There was little chatting involved," Heero pointed out.

"That's your fault, not mine."

"No one asked you to sit unmoving like that for the whole time… Duo."

"Yeah, well, I was afraid to move the amplifier once –" Duo paused. Then a huge grin spread over his face, a real grin. Heero wanted to see more of those. "You called me Duo!"

Heero raised an eyebrow, trying to keep a smile off his own face, though he suspected that by now Duo could read the amusement in his eyes. "Did you want me to call you idiot?"

Duo eyed him with a very suspicious grin on his face. Heero began backing away. "Whatever you're planning – ack!" He suddenly found himself trapped in the arms of a hyperactive American, who was hugging the life out of him.

"You can be cute sometimes too, Heero," Duo was babbling happily, and Heero tuned him out. The warmth, and the hidden strength in those arms, made him feel… safe. Normally, someone taller than him being in close quarters would make him paranoid, uneasy, but with Duo, it wasn't so bad.

If he was honest with himself, it actually felt rather good.

"Can't breathe," he interrupted Duo, who hastily let him go. Heero looked up into those unusual eyes, so close to his. They were standing in what some would almost call an embrace. Some emotion flashed across purple eyes, and, never looking away, Heero said softly:

"Your pins and needles killing you yet?"

Duo blinked. Then he leaped away and began hopping around the apartment, yelping. "You just had to remind me, you evil bastard!" he howled.

Heero smirked. "Couldn't let you miss out on the fun." He moved towards the main door, grabbing his keys from the sideboard. "If you're not in the lift by the time it arrives, I'm going to leave for the ice cream parlour without you," he called smugly.

He let the door swing shut on Duo's curses, and only then did he let his smile creep up onto his face. By the time Duo came out, he'd have his expression under control, but for now…

It was a liberating feeling, to have his secret known by someone else and not feel hunted, unsafe. Odin had always said that the only person you could trust was yourself, and even then it wasn't a sure thing, and so Heero had always been wary of trusting others. Somehow, though, even though they didn't know much about each other, he knew without a doubt that Duo wouldn't betray him.

This level of trust was frightening, but it felt good.

_Follow your emotions_, Odin had said the most often. Other times, though, when he caught Odin staring out the window at night, at nothing in particular, his mentor would tell him, _Be happy, as best as you can._

He would be happy, as best as he could. And since Duo seemed to be the source of that happiness nowadays, he would try this friendship thing.

Then he realized that he didn't know much about friendship. Duo was the one trying hard. Shouldn't friendship be a mutual exchange? He could ask Duo, but that seemed odd. Girls would know, wouldn't they? It was time to seek out old acquaintances.

But stepping into the lift and hearing Duo's yells to _stop that elevator!_ Heero had to smile to himself again. Everything else could wait. For now, they were going to get ice cream.

Because this was one way to find happiness.

* * *

Sounds like a good ending to the fic, doesn't it? I feel tempted to leave it there.

Progress in the relationship! Heero's past revealed! Hints about Duo's past! You know, speaking of pasts, everyone asked me about Duo's, but no one wondered why Heero would dream of smoke bombs, or keep decomposing animals and explosive liquids in buckets. Personally I thought Heero's hidden past was the more interesting one, but whatever goes. Maybe I didn't make it obvious enough.

There was a moment when I accidentally ctrl-A'd and then space-bar'd the whole document. I had this frozen second when all the words vanished and I was confronted with a blank document. I almost expired on the spot, before my brain kicked in and I undid it and got my chapter back.

It was scary though.

Sorry about the slight OOCness of Heero. I tried to portray a scarred, scared young man who had found a friend without knowing it and then was confronted with the probably of losing that friend just when he realized how important their friendship had become.

And I'm sorry this chapter was more serious and not so amusing. I think most of you have come to see Roommate as a humour fic, but I always meant the humour to lead into more serious matters. Be warned.

Oh, and I did say the girls would come up this chap. Sorry, it ran longer than I thought. Next chap, though. For sure. Though I don't think many of you will actually want the girls to appear.

Yay, two updates in two days for two of the fics that people pester me for the most. Aren't I nice?

Randomly: Everyone asked the same questions about the latest updated Joke chapter, i.e. about Wufei's part in the whole thing. It made me laugh, because for one it's like we all share some common hive mind (I already addressed the issue in what's written of the next chapter) and for another it means that people are really reading seriously and thinking about it. That really makes me happy. Thanks, all!

**Ashen Skies**  
_"There will be no eating of men in this household!"_


	9. Heero's Day Out

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Wing, have any relation to Gundam Wing, have no permission from those who created Gundam Wing to write this. This is purely for fun, to waste time, and to make other people happy reading and to spread the joy of slashy literature to all those poor unenlightened Fellow Man out there. I am making no profit from this.

**Pairings: **2x1x2, side pairing 3x4

**Summary:** Heero was perfectly happy as a workaholic recluse, but then Quatre declared War on him and suddenly there's a sugar-high American at his door, messing up the house and showing him that maybe, he hadn't been that happy after all...

* * *

**Roommate: Unwanted**

_Chapter Nine: Heero's Day Out_

* * *

1. Sally Po

2. Dorothy Catalonia

3. Catherine Barton

Staring at the document on the screen, fingers hovering over the keyboard, Heero Yuy was the picture of calm, contemplative scholarship. No one watching would have been able to tell that he was waging an internal war with himself.

Listing the names themselves had been easy – his female acquaintances were few, after all. Listing them in order of visitation was harder, for there were advantages and disadvantages to weigh for talking to each of them: Dorothy would pry, but she would not tell any of his friends, where Sally would pry and _might_ tell his friends, depending on how important she thought the matter was. Catherine would not pry, but she would definitely tell her brother, and Trowa would be able to make his own conclusions.

Of course, Catherine was the most normal of the three, and Dorothy the least normal, so if he wanted advice on a thing such as _friendship_, Dorothy might not be the best person to ask. So he had put Sally first on the list; he could always appeal to her doctor persona, and try to invoke patient confidentiality. He did _not_ want his friends to find out that he was actively trying to be social (and trying to make even one friend was, to Heero, considered 'social'), if possible.

So that was harder than listing the names themselves, but still not a problem. Now, though, came the most painful decision of all. Heero could feel every atom of his body rebelling against the very idea of putting that last name down, but if he was going to compile a list of possible female consultants, it would be unprofessional to not complete the list with the last female he knew.

So it was with a heavy dread that Heero's fingers moved, and typed:

_4. Relena Peacecraft_.

There. Done. Of course, there was very little chance that all of the three women above combined would not be able to give him satisfactory answers, and so there was very little chance that he would have to fall back on that fourth and last resort, but even the _thought_ of having to willingly approach her was appalling.

It wasn't that she was a bad person. She was, in fact, a good person. She did lots of charity work, she was active in the political scene and campaigned for noble if idealistic causes, she did not shy from making her opinions heard even if they were unpopular – and they were worthwhile, if idealistic, opinions. Heero would not have minded making friends with the capable woman she was when dealing with the world. It was just… all her good sense seemed to flee when it came to _him_.

When dealing with Heero Yuy, Relena Peacecraft was like a teenage girl. And Heero really, really did not like teenage girls. Or teenage anything, for that matter.

He closed the document, not bothering to save it. The document had only been to aid his thought processes; he could remember the list itself once it had been decided. He checked the clock – eight in the morning. Perfect. He would reach Sally's at nine, spend half an hour there, and then at nine-thirty head for Dorothy's. He would spend an hour there from ten to eleven, possibly more – it was always interesting, talking to Dorothy, and they often discussed a wide range of issues – and then have lunch.

Hopefully there would be no need to visit Catherine, but if there was, he would have the afternoon for that and, shudder, shudder, if absolutely, completely, no-other-recourse-but-death necessary, Relena. If Sally and Dorothy gave him the answers he needed, then he would use the afternoon to visit Quatre and Trowa – they were on the way back, unlike Wufei, who lived in the opposite direction.

It took him three minutes to dress and generally be ready to go out – a rare process for him, but efficiently done as anything else that he did. He checked his pockets one more time, and then headed for the door.

Halfway there, a head stuck itself out of the kitchen. Duo's mouth opened, and then shut again as he eyed Heero in his shoes and jeans and polo shirt. Heero stared imperturbably back.

"Did you see Wilbur?"

"…what?"

"Wilbur," said Duo patiently. "You know, the pig."

Heero's expression remained blank. "What pig?"

"Wilbur the pig from _Charlotte's Web_, it's a classic book. You're a writer, you should know."

"I know the book. What I do not understand is what the book has to do with anything."

"Not the book, the pig." Duo's straight face suddenly split into a huge grin. "I could swear I saw Wilbur fly past."

Heero stared some more. Then he got it, and his eye twitched. "Do you have to speak in circles all the time, Maxwell?"

"It wasn't a circle! It was a perfectly good book reference! Any person would have seen it coming a mile away!"

Heero snorted. "Somehow I doubt that." He turned to continue on his way –

"Oh, hey, wait!"

He turned back. "Yes?" he said with exaggerated patience.

There was an unreadable light in violet eyes, though the grin was lecherous. "Out for a date with a hot chick?"

"I am not into bestiality."

Duo sighed. "Don't even try to pretend you don't know what I meant."

"You encouraged me to make jokes."

"That wasn't a joke!" Duo paused. "Wait – you're serious, aren't you? That was your idea of a joke? No, wait, it can't be. I've seen your sense of humour, it's not at such a low standard. Or was it that by saying you were making a joke, you were actually _making_ the joke then – hey! I'm not done talking to you yet!"

Stopping in his tracks again, Heero glared at Duo. "I have a schedule to keep to, Maxwell."

"Duo ."

"…Duo," Heero acknowledged. It was… odd to hear himself calling a relative stranger by his first name, and he often forgot, but Duo seemed to understand, and always reminded him without any teasing or exasperation – just in a simple, matter-of-fact way.

The American in question grinned. "Yeah, so, I was just going to ask if you were going to be back for lunch. Or dinner. Or, actually, if you were going to _buy_ dinner back or have me make something really bad or order takeaway –"

"I will bring dinner back. Lunch will be your problem."

"Sure thing!" Duo beamed at him.

Heero nodded curtly at him, and turned –

"Wait, wait!"

He cut a glare over his shoulder. "_Yes?_"

"Whoa, scary, scary." Duo gave him a sheepish grin. "I was just… where are you going? _Really_ going? If you can tell me, that is."

Heero considered the other man – that odd light was back in his eyes, when it had faded away during their exchange. Finally he said, "I have some business to take care of."

The light eased. "Oh, okay then." Duo smiled at him. "I'll see you for dinner?"

"Yes."

"Right then. Uh… have fun outside! Try not to melt from the sun! And those brown and green things are called trees, don't worry, they're harmless."

Heero rolled his eyes and exited the apartment without any further mishaps, though he could _hear_ Duo grinning at his back. Inwardly, though, some part of him was oddly warmed.

Of course, he had a sneaking suspicion that he would come back to absolute disaster in the apartment, but there was no help for it. One problem at a time.

He was only a _mortal_ superhuman, after all.

* * *

The smile faded from Duo's face as the door closed behind Heero. Suddenly the apartment seemed empty, silent – alright, yes, when Heero was in it the apartment was _still_ silent, but it was… an _alive_ silence. It was Heero silence.

Now it was just lonely.

And in the lonely silence, unwanted thoughts kept popping up. Thoughts like: _why would Heero the anti-social hermit bastard be going out? He said it was business, but is it really? Who could Heero the anti-social hermit bastard be meeting? Why do I even care what Heero the anti-social hermit bastard is doing anyway? It's not like I'm jealous. I don't even want to be jealous anyway. It's not my place. I don't even want it to be my place._

_Quit while you're ahead,_ the bunny advised him.

Good point. Duo looked around him thoughtfully. Come to think of it, this was the first time he'd been left alone in the apartment. Heero hardly ever went out – almost never, in fact, and to Duo's knowledge all the times he _did_ go out were when he was pulled along for meals by Duo.

The silence rang.

The silence… beckoned.

Duo slowly started to grin again. He pushed all thoughts of Heero out of his head, and focused on all the possibilities that an empty apartment contained.

He'd need help, though. He needed manpower to pull off at least a couple of things he wanted to do. Ah, so much to plan, so little time… Best to get started right away. He pulled out his phone and dialled what was fast becoming a very familiar number.

"Hey, Quatre? You free today? I have something _really_ good planned…"

* * *

"Now this is unusual. Did you break an arm or something equally severe? I can't imagine why you would come willingly to visit me otherwise."

Heero raised an eyebrow at the doctor smiling at him. "Can I not visit a dearly beloved friend and doctor for purely social reasons?" he said.

Sally stared, and then started laughing as Heero waited patiently. "Oh, my, so it _is_ true!" she said when she caught her breath. "I thought Wufei was imagining things, I owe him lunch for laughing at him."

Wufei had talked to Sally about him? Heero frowned. "What things?"

"Well, for one, I was always the one visiting you for check-ups, or you were dragged here by your friends. Your being here willingly is new. Then, even if you had come by yourself, you would have answered me with some stony glare or another, not… tease back." Sally's smile was genuinely pleased. "I'm happy for you. That roommate seems to be a miracle worker; I didn't think someone like that could exist."

Ah. Wufei had talked to Sally about Duo. Everything involved Duo nowadays, really… the thought of which, in the past, would have made him wary, but now it was a rather pleasing thought. Hmm. Was this another form or level of friendship? Heero made a mental note, and then addressed Sally. "I have some matters in which I wish to consult you. Are you free now?"

"Of course. You know there's always an abundance of doctors in this place, I'll get the counter staff to redirect my patients to the others. Wait here." Sally got up from her desk and opened the door, flagging down one of the employees in the large clinic she worked in. Heero heard a brief murmured exchange, and then Sally closed the door again and returned. "So, fire away."

Heero collected his thoughts. It was strangely hard to find somewhere to start. Frowning, he finally settled on asking: "What is the optimum reciprocation towards someone who has offered you friendship?"

Sally stared.

"Should I rephrase it? In other words, how –"

"No, no, I get it," Sally interrupted. "It's just… unexpected."

"In which way?"

"Hmm? Well, unexpected of _you_, certainly. But also a very… odd question." Sally looked troubled. "Heero… I know I promised not to ask, but your childhood…"

"Is not a topic I will expound on," Heero said stiffly.

"You know you can trust my discretion," Sally said.

"I know," was all Heero said in reply. He stared mildly back at her as she tried to give him her best concerned and completely discrete doctor look.

After a while she gave up with a sigh and a faint smile. "Very well, then. Anytime you want to talk, though…"

"I understand." _As if. If I ever want to talk about it, Duo would be the first person I'd tell._

Wait, what?

Heero was sure his expression underwent a few really odd changes as his mind screeched to a halt and floundered around in the lake of confusion and the puddles of shock, judging by the odd look that _Sally_ gave him.

"Are you alright, Heero?"

"…Yes. I will be." Heero forcibly set aside that jumbled train of thought for dissection later, and focused back on the reason he had come. "Do you have an answer for my question?"

"Well…" Sally looked thoughtful. "It's hard to say. Relationship matters are always arbitrary. I could give you general examples – very general, you understand."

"That would be fine."

"Alright then. Here goes…"

* * *

"Hey, Quatre! Whoa, that's a lot of people – and man, are they all _big_."

"Duo, you should have realized that your plan needs this many people to be completed in the amount of time we have. Don't you think about the details?"

"Nope, I leave that all to you, future CEO. Well, come on in, don't just stand there! Mind your heads, guys – or even your foreheads. Your noses? Collarbones?"

"We are not that tall, Master Duo."

"Master who?"

"Oh, that's just Rashid's way of addressing good friends of mine."

"Huh. They like your private army or something?"

"For our purposes now? Yes."

"You know, I quite like the sound of that."

"Master Quatre, should we begin? From what you have told us, this will take a while."

"Oh yes, of course. Well, Duo? It's your show."

"Indeed it is. Gentlemen! Let the party begin!"

* * *

"Heero? A surprise visit, how nice."

"Dorothy. Do you have time now? I would like to consult you on an issue."

Dorothy smirked; a forked eyebrow was raised. "A voluntary visit from Heero Yuy always merits my time. It isn't everyday that I participate in miracles, after all." She turned smartly and moved away from the door into the house. "Come in, and don't bother closing the door behind you."

"Don't bother closing the door…?" Heero followed her into the house, casting a dubious look back at the door behind his shoulder.

"Yes, because this gentleman is leaving now. _He _can shut the door."

The gentleman in question – young, pretty and rich, from the looks of him – stood abruptly from his seat on Dorothy's couch, frowning. "Miss Catalonia, I would like to –"

"I have a friend over now and I need to entertain him." Dorothy made a shooing motion with her fingers. "Go on, shoo. If you really want to talk more to me, arrange things with Relena."

The man looked furious. "And am I not worthy of being entertained as your guest?" he demanded. "Is this _­friend_ of yours above me in statues?" The look he gave Heero was not a nice one; it was obvious he thought of Heero as some kind of rival, and an unworthy one at that.

Dorothy smiled a razor-sharp smile. "The difference is, when I entertain Heero, he is equally entertaining in return. I can't say the same of you."

The poor man sputtered, too angry for words. He snatched up his jacket and stormed out of the room. Seconds later, the sound of the front door slamming shut resounded through the apartment and made Heero wince.

"I can be blunt and insensitive with my words, but it's not on purpose," Heero commented, taking a seat on the recently vacated couch. "You wield your words with the intention to cut."

"Not always," Dorothy protested mildly. "I only do it to sops and idiots like _him_. Anything to drink?"

"No, thank you."

"Water it is." Dorothy swept out of the room as Heero sighed to himself in resignation. Dorothy hadn't changed one bit. He heard her call from the kitchen, "Relena's trying to match-make me with what she thinks are highly eligible bachelors. Problem is, they're all from her social circle, and you know what kinds of people float around there."

"I see. No wonder you had no patience with this one. Why did you invite him over to your apartment in the first place then?"

"I didn't. Here." Dorothy handed Heero a glass of water. He murmured his thanks while she dropped onto the couch opposite him and took a sip of her own glass. "He just showed up when I was about to go out to meet with Relena – that's why I'm all dressed up. She must have planned the whole thing. I swear, that girl – I'm going to tell her off once we're done here. She can be so dense and stubborn about some things, I can't understand why someone as intelligent as she is would – but then, you probably know exactly what I'm talking about. Anyway, enough about me." She looked curiously at him. "Why are _you_ here?"

"I am here to consult you on matters of friendship."

Dorothy blinked, and then grinned widely. "This has to do with that new kid who's living with you, right?"

Wonderful. Did _everyone_ know? "He's my roommate," Heero corrected. "Or rather, apartment-mate. How did you –"

"Quatre's been going on about it whenever I meet him for business." Dorothy rolled her eyes. "Won't shut up, like some mother proud of her kid's first steps."

Heero scowled. "I need to tell the lot of them to shut up."

"Whoa, getting touchy here, are we?" Dorothy tilted her head. "Not only Quatre's been talking, hmm? And you found out just recently, because you're still upset about it. That means you've visited others before coming to find me, probably with the very same question… that means you've seen Sally, and you found out that Wufei told her."

"I visited her earlier this morning," Heero admitted, with a faint rueful smile. "You're as sharp as ever."

"Yes, well, deduction is easy when it comes to you, because you have a limited social circle and I know everyone in it." Dorothy settled more comfortably into her couch. "So – I assume Sally's advice wasn't what you wanted?"

"It was… somewhat helpful," Heero said carefully, "but not completely what I was looking for."

"Do you know what you're looking for?"

"I assume I will know it when it is before me."

Dorothy snorted. "That's not like you. I guess you really are completely lost in this area."

Heero shrugged silently.

"Don't worry; it's so rare that you want to talk about personal matters that I won't tease." Dorothy gave him a reassuring smile. "What did you ask Sally?"

"I asked about the optimum reciprocation towards someone who has offered you friendship."

"Was her answer not enough?"

"No, it was useful," Heero was quick to answer. "It was simply… not what I am looking for." He frowned. "I have to admit that I myself am not quite sure what I _am_ looking for."

Dorothy looked at him for a long moment. Then she said, "Why now?"

Heero was confused. "Now…?"

Dorothy sat forward, placing her glass down on the table. She looked intently at Heero. "You're friends with the three guys, right? Good friends?"

"Yes…?"

"And you're comfortable enough with me and Sally. We're not as close to you as the guys are, but still close. Right?"

"Yes."

"And you've had no problems being a friend in return. You haven't agonized over this whole friendship thing before. So… why now?"

"Ah. I see what you mean." Heero's brows furrowed. "This is something that has not occurred to me. You are asking what makes this friendship special?"

"That's a part of it…" Dorothy was still watching him. "But I'm also curious as to what makes this _boy_ special. Feel free to answer either question, though."

"Well – he lives in close quarters with me, I am forced to interact –"

"It's obvious not as forced an interaction as you think, since you're here willingly trying to improve that interaction."

"His character is very interesting, I find myself intrigued as to his past –"

"But all the guys you are currently friends with are some of the most interesting, the most unique people I know."

"He can – hold on." Heero eyed Dorothy. "If you have a point to make, please stop wasting time and just make it."

"If you insist." Dorothy's smile was sweet and innocent and as Heero knew full well, not to be trusted. "I think this boy is special not just because he is who he is, but because he's special to _you_, and I think the reason why this boy is special to you is because –"

"_Dorothy_! How could you do that to Richard, he – Heero!"

_Oh, please no,_ Heero thought.

"What a pleasant surprise, I haven't seen you in such a long time, how have you been? What are you doing here? Oh! Don't tell me that upstart scruffy thug that Richard talked about was _you_? Oh, Heero, I keep reminding you to watch your words around people, not everyone can understand that you don't really mean it that way!"

"I didn't even talk, how could I have been upstart?" Heero closed his eyes briefly in a bid for patience and strength, and then turned to nod at Relena. "Hello, Relena."

She smiled at him, a little flushed. "Hello, Heero." Then something occurred to her, and she looked confused. "Hold on… if Dorothy invited you over, why did she say she was free to go out with me?"

"Uh –"

"I forgot I invited him," Dorothy lied blandly. "And it turned out for the best, didn't it?"

Relena only looked slightly abashed. "Well, if you'd only agree to meet with the men I chose for you, I wouldn't have to resort to such methods!"

"I am fine with my current life, Relena," Dorothy said impatiently. "I've told you time and again –"

"Everyone needs someone at their side as a partner, Dorothy," Relena said earnestly. "You'll never really be happy until you find that one person!"

The look she sneaked at Heero did not go by unnoticed. It was time to leave. "It was good talking to you, Dorothy," Heero said as he stood. "I'll see myself out."

"Oh – you're leaving? Then I –"

"Relena, about the Tessa Project, there's some problem on Jack's side to do with the funds," Dorothy interrupted. "We need to go over that."

Relena looked torn. "But shouldn't we at least see Heero to his car –"

"There is really no need," Heero said quickly. "Your problem probably needs immediate attention."

"We should get back to Jack as soon as possible," Dorothy agreed.

"In that case…" Relena looked disappointed. "I'll see you soon, Heero? We should go out for lunch sometime."

"Sometime," Heero said solemnly, and made his escape as Dorothy started talking about reluctant sponsors, forcing Relena to listen. The two of them had an agreement – since both of them respected Relena and her capabilities, they would try to keep her away from Heero so that she would not make a fool of herself. It had worked well, so far, since Dorothy's company worked closely with Relena's political group and so there were always real problems to distract Relena with.

Once safely in his car and driving away, Heero let himself think about Dorothy's words. It was true, he realized, that Duo was special – both the friendship he had given so freely, and he himself, the man that was Duo Maxwell. Why, though? Even he didn't know himself. It made Heero wonder what Dorothy had been about to say. Really, Relena had the worst timing.

At least now he knew from Sally how he should as a friend act towards Duo, and from Dorothy he knew that he considered Duo worthy of such efforts. He still hadn't found what he was looking for yet though, and he still had no idea what it was that he was looking for. Very well, it was time to visit Catherine.

And if that didn't work out… there was really only one option left, no matter how unappealing it was. Never let it be said that Heero Yuy ever backed down from a task.

* * *

"The smell is still here – there's only a few hours left!"

"Relax, Duo, the windows and doors are all open and the fans are going strong. It'll be fine."

"But who are we going to use? We can't use your Manguanacs, one look at any of them and Heero will know! Where else are you going to find hulking guys like that in this city?"

"I have a few sisters in town who Heero's never seen before. I called them earlier, they'll be here."

"You really are quite the businessman, aren't you? No detail escapes your eagle eye."

"Years of practice. I must say, though, the idea behind all this amazes me. I'm not sure if I'm awed by your imagination or a little worried about your lack of restraint."

"How about being amazed at both?"

"That could work."

"Personally, _I'm_ amazed by how skilful your Manguanacs are. They should hold exhibits or something. When I came up with the idea, I never expected something this good."

"It is rather well done, isn't it?"

"Man, I can't wait for Heero to get back… this is going to be awesome."

* * *

Heero trudged up the stairs to his apartment underneath a black cloud of doom. He had gone to see Catherine after lunch, but her gentle advice had only served to confirm the little he had learned that day. What had really made him think, however, was lunch itself.

He had recently been eating all his meals with Duo – at first, it had been because Duo had practically dragged him out to eat, or else had pestered him to eat the food he had bought back or cooked himself (the latter being surprisingly tasty, seeing how he had once blown up the kitchen, but then again that had been largely done on purpose, so perhaps it didn't count). Lately, though, it had become… habit. It was comfortable eating with Duo, who seemed to know all the good food to be had and always had interesting thoughts and pieces of random knowledge. Now, eating wasn't the chore it had been, but something that he looked forward to.

So many changes had happened, and he had no clue as to why and how and what he was going to do about it, except for the fact that he thought of Duo as a special friend. Or a special whatever it was that Dorothy had been about to say.

He came out of his thought when his key wouldn't fit in the lock. Heero frowned at the doorknob, and jiggled it experimentally. To his surprise, it turned in his hand. Had Duo forgotten to lock it? Pocketing his key, Heero pushed the door open –

– and stared.

The door had opened into sprawling grasslands under a sunny blue sky with fluffy clouds, and butterflies and birds hovering in the air. All the walls in the living room had been painted with green grass and butterflies near the floor, and blue skies and clouds and birds near the ceiling – which was itself blue, with the overhead ceiling fan painted yellow like a sun. The couches and tables were his, but they were arranged differently, clustered in the middle rather than against the walls, and there was a lamp and a fluffy rug he'd never seen before.

His mind completely blank, Heero moved in a daze to the kitchen, and stopped again in the doorway to stare. This time, a café veranda greeted him – railings were painted all around the room, and there were flowers in flowerboxes and cobbled streets beyond.

Backing away from the kitchen, Heero made a beeline for his private soundproof study, dreading what he might find in there. The door opened before he could get there, however… revealing a towel-clad girl.

Who promptly screamed.

Heero hastily turned his back. "I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I just – I didn't expect –" His brain caught up with events at that point, and he frowned. Why was he apologizing? Why was there even a towel-clad girl in his study, anyway?

He half-turned, to watch her out of the corner of his eye. "Excuse me – I would like to know what you are doing in my apartment –"

"_Your_ apartment? What are you talking about?"

Heero growled. "Please stop this charade, woman. It's obvious that Duo put you up to this –"

"Duo? Duo who?"

Heero turned to stare at her, but quickly turned away again when she uttered a little shriek. "Duo, the person who turned this place into madness within a day."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," the woman snapped. "And that's a likely excuse – how can someone do such a thorough paint job in a day? It took me weeks!"

"Duo can always find a way," Heero said, but doubt was beginning to niggle at him.

"I don't know this Duo you're talking about," said the woman, glaring, "and if you don't want me to call the cops on you, you'd better get out now."

"Look, woman, I think I should know what my apartment looks like! That's my furniture–"

"There are only so many designs for furniture, and all the apartments in this place are structured the same," she pointed out. "Maybe you just have the wrong door? How did you get in, anyway? Don't tell me I forgot to lock the door again!"

"I…" Heero remembered that his key hadn't fit the lock, and the doubt grew. He couldn't possibly have made a mistake, could he? It couldn't be a coincidence that all of the furniture and kitchen cabinets and assorted items in this place were exactly the same as his, could it?

"Wonderful. Is it a habit of yours to just try doorknobs to see if they're locked? I am sure you know what such people are called." The woman gave him the coldest, most haughty glare that Heero ever saw, effectively making him feel like a bug on the sole of her expensive shoe, and stabbed an imperious finger at the door. "Get out."

Retreat seemed like the best option for now. Heero turned and walked stiffly out the door, the woman following him at a safe distance. Two seconds after he cleared the doorway, the door slammed behind him, and the lock turned.

Heero blinked at the wall opposite the door, and then looked around him. Yes, there were the faint marks that his paintballs had made on the walls. Yes, there were the scratches on the door two doors down (the old man who lived in there had two cats). It was the same hallway he had passed through for years.

So… it _had_ to be his apartment.

And yet he had no idea how it _could_ be.

It was an unsettling feeling. Heero looked around him one more time, and then headed for the next door and knocked on it. After a few interminable seconds, old Mrs King opened the door and peered out. Her wizened face wrinkled into a frown when she saw who it was, and before he could open his mouth she was off on a rant:

"You young people have no manners, no manners at all, no consideration for your neighbours, no respect for your elders, no good and polite bone in your bodies! All day you disturb your neighbours with thumps and people coming in and out, making that awful racket, and the smell went through the whole corridor, I felt so faint when I opened the door that I couldn't even make it for my daily afternoon walk, my health has been compromised, you young people have no heart –"

"Mrs King –" Heero was beginning to lose patience. Normally it was best to let her finish, but this time he wasn't in a very good mood to begin with.

"– and all this on top of the gross indecencies that I know full well you two boys are carrying out in your apartment! Don't you feel any shame, two healthy young men wasting your lives in that kind of relationship, it's not right, it's not proper at all, and that other young man, why, that hair of his is –"

"_I would advise you to stop right there_."

"– !" Mrs King's jaw hung open.

Heero didn't know why this nonsense would irritate him so much, when before he would just tune her out until she was done, but for some reason when she had started in on Duo… It was no one's business how he wanted to live or wear his hair. And it was damn nice hair, anyway! It wasn't even remotely green anymore!

_Not the point, Yuy_.

Right. He cleared his throat. "Mrs King, I was out of the apartment all day and I have no idea as to what happened. If you would tell me what happened to make you so upset, I will lecture my roommate immediately."

She narrowed her eyes at him for a moment longer, and then grudgingly said, "I think it was housecleaning of some sort. There were paint fumes everywhere the whole afternoon, and lots of scraping and thumping, I think it was the furniture being moved, and there were lots of big dangerous-looking men!"

"Thank you," Heero said shortly. Spinning on his heel, he marched the short distance back to his door. Duo was new in this city, and he wouldn't have known enough people to pull something on this scale off in such a short time. He did know one person who _did_ know enough people, however – or it might be more accurate to say that he employed enough people. Big, dangerous-looking people.

He knocked sharply on his door. "Ms Winner!" he called out. "If you do not open this door, I will open it myself."

There was no reaction.

"Very well. I expect you to pay for any damages, of course –"

The door swung open, but instead of light blue eyes, Heero found himself looking up into purple ones. A strong sense of déjà vu hit him, and apparently Duo, too, for they stood there blinking at each other for a moment.

Then Duo grinned. "Welcome home, Heero."

Heero ignored the warmth in his chest at those words and glared back. "That paint job had better not be permanent."

Duo's mock-hurt expressions was ruined by an uncontrollable grin. "Aw, Heero, why so serious? I think the new deco does wonders for the place." He stepped back and waved Heero in. "You're no fun, though, you figured it out so quickly… I was hoping you would be running around like a headless duck trying to find out what was going on. How did you know Marissa was Quatre's sister? He said you hadn't met her before."

"Yes, the identical eyes and pose didn't give her away one bit," Heero said dryly.

Duo made a face. "I was hoping you'd be so confused that you wouldn't notice." He waved to the now-named Marissa, who emerged from the bedroom, thankfully dressed. She smiled back at him, and laughed when she caught sight of Heero.

"I hope you don't hold it against me for helping your friend out," she told Heero cheerfully. "I'll never forget the look on your face when you saw me, it was hilarious!"

Heero's scowl deepened, and he refrained from saying anything for fear of what would come out. This was Quatre's sister, after all. She didn't seem to mind, patting his shoulder and then smiling charmingly at Duo. "It was lovely meeting you, Duo. Maybe we could go out for lunch some day?"

"Sure," Duo agreed easily. "Heero needs some extra company other than me."

Her smile faltered, the charm fading, replaced by understanding amusement. "I see how it is. Well then, I would be delighted to have lunch with the two of you."

"In that case, call us up anytime, my lady." Duo gave her an exaggerated bow.

The two of them exchanged goodbyes, but when she turned to Heero, he gave her a distracted nod, too busy thinking. To her credit, Marissa merely raised an eyebrow before leaving.

Duo waved a hand before Heero's face. "Heero? Anyone in there?"

He swatted the hand away. "Duo…"

"Yes?"

"Does she have stalker tendencies?"

The other man stared.

"Because her words are reminiscent –"

"And I thought I was the one breathing in paint fumes all day," Duo muttered. "Heero, what on earth possessed you to think that?"

He had the grace to look a little embarrassed. "Nothing," he said. "It's simply that – no, never mind."

Duo looked suspiciously at him. "I'm not stupid, Heero. There _is_ something." His expression turned thoughtful, and then a gleeful smile slowly spread. "Oh, no way – it can't be – _you_ have a stalker? You have a girl after you, don't you!"

Heero's back stiffened, and he gave Duo his coldest glare – or at least tried to, anyway. It fell rather flat due to the faint redness on his cheeks. "I don't see it's any of your business." He stalked past Duo towards the study, intending to barricade himself in there.

Duo followed him, laughing madly. "This is priceless, Heero Yuy fighting off the passions of women with a stick! Oh, I've got to meet this chick – uh – but not today, yeah? Some other day. In fact, you know, I'll just… pop out to grab some food…"

Before he even thought about it, Heero's hand shot out and just barely missed catching Duo's wrist, as the other man skipped out of reach. The completely innocent smile he gave Heero did not make him feel any better. "I'll see you later!" Duo said brightly.

Heero considered his options. Then he lunged for Duo, but the other man yelped and practically threw himself out of the door. Heero decided that it wasn't worth his time giving chase; the other man would have to come back sometime, and he could have his revenge then. In the meanwhile, depending on what he found, he could take his time choosing the mode of revenge.

He turned with trepidation to the study door. Whatever was inside had to be bad, or Duo wouldn't have escaped with such alacrity. Taking a deep breath and shutting his eyes, Heero reached out. His fingers found the handle to the door, and with a silent plea of mercy from any omniscient and omnipotent being around, he pushed the door open and opened his eyes.

And was promptly blinded by the dazzling light thrown into his eyes by the whirling disco ball hanging from the middle of the ceiling, surrounding by sparkling sequined purple and pink walls. _Neon_ purple and pink walls.

Heero stared.

Then he calmly turned around and walked back out of the room. The door closed behind him with a click. He stood there for a moment in deep contemplation.

Then his brain wrapped itself around what he had just seen.

"_MAXWELL_!"

He jumped a little as the front door opened and a head poked around the wood cautiously. "You called?"

Heero reached out for the standing lamp –

"Wait, wait! You haven't seen nothing yet," Duo informed him. "There's still your room left, remember? I did that one personally, by the way. Well, not the base paint, but the artwork."

"Why," Heero said reasonably, hands wrapped around the pole of the lamp, prepared to swing it or possibly throw it, "are you not running far, far away, in fear of your mortal life and your extremities?"

"Because you still have one room left."

Heero gave him a Look that promised painful death and the removal of dangly bits on his person, which made Duo _eep_ and retreat slightly behind the wood again. Then the Japanese man set the lamp back on the floor with a thump and stalked towards his bedroom door, throwing the door open.

If he thought he was blinded before, that was but mere short-sightedness. _This_… this was what caused men to go blind and little old ladies to have heart attacks. It was the fluffy meadow again, only this time, the living creatures were not limited to birds and butterflies. There were cute, fluffy little critters of all kinds…

Doing decidedly non-fluffy things.

On every available inch of painted grass, and scattered liberally throughout the painted sky.

Heero's thoughts, at this point, ran something like this:

_1. By the gods, is it even possible in the air?_

_2. Those are three rabbits. _Three_._

_3. Is that a dog and a cat? On _top_ of the cat?_

_4. Both those horses are male!_

And so on.

"Uh… you haven't short-circuited your brain, have you, Heero? Heero?"

Blue eyes had glazed over, but they refocused at the sound of that voice. Very slowly, like a sleepwalker, Heero looked over at Duo, who was hovering in the doorway. "Duo…?"

"Uh… yes?"

"_DIE!_"

Mrs King, who had been startled by the yelling, hastened to her door, intending to go out and give her neighbours a piece of her mind. She opened the door –

"MWAHAHAHA!"

"DIE DIE DIE DIE!"

– and gaped as a whirlwind of insane hysterical laughter blew past her, followed by a screaming raving axe murderer waving something sharp and pointy.

"MWAHAHAHA!"

"DIE DIE DIE DIE!"

On second thoughts, perhaps she should leave her neighbours alone after all.

* * *

I am rather amused by the idea of Manguanacs painting fluffy clouds.

It's possible that the painting feat is not humanly achievable, but I figure if you have enough hands, well, why not?

Anyway, not a very funny chapter, and it's very abrupt and rushed in some places, but I was kind of stuck. So sorry. At least it's long, right?

**Ashen Skies  
**_"It wasn't even remotely green anymore!"_


	10. Secrets Best Buried

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Wing, have any relation to Gundam Wing, have no permission from those who created Gundam Wing to write this. This is purely for fun, to waste time, and to make other people happy reading and to spread the joy of slashy literature to all those poor unenlightened Fellow Man out there. I am making no profit from this.

**Pairings: **2x1x2, side pairing 3x4

**Summary:** Heero was perfectly happy as a workaholic recluse, but then Quatre declared War on him and suddenly there's a sugar-high American at his door, messing up the house and showing him that maybe, he hadn't been that happy after all...

* * *

**Roommate: Unwanted**

_Chapter Ten: Secrets Best Buried_

* * *

_Duh-dum. Duh-dum. Duh –_

Oh, wait. Wrong soundtrack.

_Duh-dum. Duh-dum. Duh-dum duh-dum duh-dum duh-dum duh-duuuuuum…. da-da-da-dum._

Perfect.

Of course, if Heero caught him at this, then it would be the soundtrack from Jaws that would fit better than the Pink Panther jingle, because Duo would be eaten alive.

_Ooh… I wouldn't mind being eaten alive by Heero, if you know what I mean._

_Shut up!_

Duo shifted uncomfortably in his seat as images of being _eaten alive_ by Heero in the (currently still desecrated) bedroom assailed him. He cursed the bunny in his head for always twisting his perfectly pure and innocent thoughts into – other _not_ pure and innocent thoughts.

_But you make it so easy._

_I'm trying my best to behave here! Why don't you go back to wherever you were the past few days? I liked it better when you were quiet._

_The Return of the Horny Bunny! Duuuum… duuuum… da-da-da-duuuum… duuuuum –_

_What the hell?_

_I deserve my own soundtrack, don't you think?_

_That's the Star Wars theme, you thief!_

_So? Return of the Horny Bunny sounds cooler than Return of the Jedi. Plus, I'm hotter. Well, with the exception of Ewan McGregor and that Hans Christian Anderson guy._

_Who in the world –?_

_The Anakin kid. Handsome blond dude who goes way better with Obi-Wan than with that princess chick? Ring a bell?_

_That's Hayden Christensen! Hans Christian Anderson is the fairy tale writer!_

_Close enough. Can we get back to Heero eating you alive? It's more interesting._

Duo muffled a groan and buried his head in his hands, before remembering that he was supposed to be circumspect and not draw any attention to himself, which meant not acting like some madman. He sat back up and looked around, wincing as he saw no less than two patrons – and one waitress – staring at him oddly. Wonderful.

A soft murmur swept the little café, and Duo followed the direction of all those heads attempting to turn discreetly and looked towards the entrance. He whistled silently – he hadn't seen any girl that beautiful in a long time that wasn't in a magazine or on the internet. Beautiful with a flavour of little-girl sweetness, composed, impeccably dressed, perfectly groomed… he could see why the media had given Relena Peacecraft the nickname 'Princess', because if there ever was one, this girl was it.

And she was coming this way.

A nagging feeling grew in Duo's chest as she passed table after table, smiling and nodding politely to customers who looked up and smiled awe-struck at her, but never pausing in her steps, walking with a purpose. It couldn't be… could it?

He heard movement behind him, and it took every atom of willpower he had not to turn around and stare in disbelief as Heero's voice came: "Hello, Relena."

No. Way.

_No way!_

Heero Yuy knew the Princess? The most anti-social, tactless idiot in the world was close enough to the darling of modern politics and the paragon of diplomacy to call her by her first name?

"Hello, Heero," was the demure but slightly breathless reply. "I almost can't believe that you really are here. I thought for sure that you would change your mind at the last minute."

Duo choked. He was a master at reading people, and the scant few sentences that Relena spoke were enough for him.

_The Princess had a crush on Heero Yuy._

Relena Peacecraft was the stalker that was after Heero? This was ridiculous. Beauty and the Beast was just a fairytale, it wasn't supposed to actually happen in real life!

_You're just jealous._

_Why would I be? She's a girl. Either he's not interested in girls and I have no reason to be jealous, or he's interested and I never had a chance to begin with and so have no right to be jealous._

_He could be bi._

_Yeah, and that still wouldn't be jealousy. It'd be depression, because if he can choose either her or me I think his choice is pretty much clear._

_He could be asexual?_

_That'd be my vote normally, but faced with that perfection? What do you think?_

_I think… you should order some chocolate._

_Huh?_

_Chocolate has anti-depressants in it._

_Oh. Good plan._

He signalled the one of the few staff who were staring at what he presumed was Heero's and Relena's table, behind him, and held up the menu, tapping the picture of a very decadent-looking moist chocolate cake. The waitress nodded absently and walked into two table-sides on her way back to the kitchen, so busy was she looking at the young politician. Duo sighed.

_It's not as if she's all that good looking, really_, he reasoned. _I mean, make-up does wonders for women. She'd be so much plainer without all the trappings, and if she wore jeans like any other normal person, she'd be just… any other normal person. Yeah. I don't see what all the fuss is about._

_Besides her lauded intellect, her wonderful diplomatic skills, her poise, her grace, and the achievements that read like a list of every politician's dreams, she's not all that great, really._

Duo sighed again. Who was he kidding?

His subconscious tapped his conscious mind urgently at that point, saving Duo from sinking even deeper into his gloom. He paid attention to the conversation behind him that he'd been listening to on autopilot, and blinked.

Heero sounded… uncomfortable.

It was faint, and to anyone else – save for maybe the Golden Trio of Winner, Barton and Chang – there was absolutely no other inflection to that slightly nasal voice but politeness and a vague degree of interest. But Duo could tell.

Maybe Heero really _didn't_ like the Princess in return. Was it possible? Duo strained to listen.

"And you should always try to make the other person happy, like doing and buying things that you think suits her – I mean, whoever your friend is. You should take the initiative and open up to her, too. You know, share your fears and secrets and everything. Oh, and –"

"What if this friend does not do the same? How should I ascertain how much I should… open up, as you say?"

"Oh, Heero, as long as you give me a chance, I – I mean, as long as you give your friend a chance, to spend time with you and so on, your friend will tell you everything, anything at all!"

_Ooh, desperate much?_ the bunny said snidely.

_Be nice_, Duo told it absently.

"What if… what if I feel uncomfortable with revealing the truth about myself?"

"It's okay, you'll feel better after sharing things, you'll see."

"But… let us say that such truths are dark truths, that will scare any normal person. Let us say that the truth is something as terrible as… as murdering someone. What then –"

"Oh, no truth is that bad, Heero! It's all in your mind, it's all to do with your insecurities. You're not as bad a person as you think, Heero. Everyone imagines their sins to be the most terrible, but it's not, really. Heero, believe me what I say that you can never do anything that bad."

The worst part, Duo thought musingly, was that the girl did mean it, and she meant it sincerely, honestly, and it was all out of the goodness of her heart. She _believed_. The problem was that she believed in a mythical Heero, a – snort, snicker, chuckle – _hero_ Heero, and each well-meant, earnest word only cut deeper.

It wasn't her fault; she couldn't have known better. But Duo knew that in her shoes, _he_ would have known. From the very first time he had met Heero Yuy, he had known that there was a dark past to this man, and it was a darkness not to be underestimated, belittled, but it was also not to be feared. At least, Duo didn't fear it. If it was part of Heero, he would embrace it.

If only he could turn around right now and tell Heero that.

His cake arrived then, and Duo smiled at the waitress and thanked her before turning to the food. It looked so good, and so sinful, and so… _fattening_.

He really shouldn't be eating.

But it was such a waste, he'd ordered it already…

"Say, Heero, this is rather out of the blue, but would you like to accompany me to a charity dinner? Quatre and Dorothy will be there, too."

A dinner? The two of them? Duo stabbed unthinkingly at his cake and took an irritated bite. Somehow the image did not sit well with him at all – though, of course, Heero in a suit… mm.

"I do not think –"

"But Heero, it would be a lovely chance to improve your social skills, you'll need the practice if you want to make closer friends, you know." Relena's voice was sweet and coaxing. Duo's fork stabbed at his cake again, and delivered a gooey forkful to his mouth. "And it's for a good cause, for charity – it's for the orphans, the proceeds will be allocated to each orphanage in the city according to size."

"Oh… I see."

_Don't fall for it, Heero!_ Duo thought fiercely, munching away at the cake for all he was worth. He felt a little bad, it was for orphans after all, and god knew how much Duo tried to do for the orphans back in his home city, but…

"We can sit with Quatre and Dorothy, you won't lack a conversation partner, but you can also talk to other people if you'd like. Say yes, Heero!"

"Well –"

_He's going to say yes!_ After all this time with Heero, Duo knew the nuances of Heero's speech, and this was his 'I know better and I really don't think this is a good idea but what the hell' voice. In his mind's eye, Heero waltzed with Relena hanging onto him, smiling into his eyes, and Duo couldn't take it anymore. He stood with a clatter, the screech of his chair being shoved back piercing in the celebrity-in-the-house silence.

And froze.

Oh, crap.

"Uh…" he gave the rest of the café a weak smile. "Sorry… thought I saw a mouse… but it wasn't, it was just a shadow!" he said hastily when some of the customers gasped and looked wildly around, and the staff looked caught between the guilt of those who slacked off during cleaning duty and the anger of the righteous who were sure that they had done a thorough job of cleaning up.

"Duo…?"

And here came the dreaded voice. Duo took a deep breath, plastered on a genuine smile of surprise, and turned. "Heero! Didn't see you there! And whoa – supping with the Princess? Man, you never told me you could go out and be social without melting!"

Relena looked a little confused, but nevertheless smiled at him with genuine pleasure. She stood up and held out a hand. "I assume you are a friend of Heero's? It is wonderful to meet you. I am Relena Peacecraft."

Duo took her hand, but instead of shaking it, he bowed over it. "Duo Maxwell at your service, Princess."

"Oh, please call me Relena. That terrible nickname is associated with the media, in my mind." Relena gave him a slightly embarrassed smile.

Damn it, it wasn't fair that she was actually _nice_, too! Duo had to smile back. "That name will never again pass my lips," he assured her.

Heero had stood up as well sometime during their conversation, and he made his presence known as his voice cut in: "Duo. What are you doing here?"

Duo rolled his eyes. "Having a nice cup of tea…" he trailed off as they all looked at his table, where there was no tea, only a glass of water and the remnants of the cake, "…that was magically replaced by a cake, but I couldn't resist," he finished, shrugging sheepishly. "What can I say? Chocolate is chocolate."

Relena beamed. "A man who knows his priorities," she agreed solemnly.

Really, he didn't want to _like_ her, but… Duo sighed mentally. It was so much simpler in the drama shows and soap operas, where the wicked third party was truly wicked. "Yes, I most certainly do," he answered Relena, "and right now my utmost priority is to get back home. I kinda sneaked out for a bit of rest instead of doing my work, and if I want to get paid on time, well…" he shrugged lightly, grinning.

"At least the cake was worth it," Relena laughed.

"Oh, was it ever." Duo affected a satiated sigh that he hoped veiled the nagging worry in the back of his mind. Judging by Relena's amused smile, he'd succeeded, but Heero's eyes had narrowed. Damn. "Anyway, I really should go," he told them both. "I'll see you around, Relena?"

"Yes, of course," she said, nodding. "A friend of Heero's is a friend of mine."

Duo smiled at her as he fished out his wallet and pulled out a twenty. "This one's on me," he said cheerfully as he waved a waitress over, mentally rolling his eyes as three immediately hurried forward, had a short glaring contest, before one of them won and triumphantly came forth. He handed her the money. "For both tables," he said.

"Heero? You're leaving…?"

What? Duo turned around abruptly to see Heero shrugging on his jacket. "Yes, I also have work to do," he said.

"Then – about the dinner –"

"I… will get back to you on that."

Seeing the crestfallen look on Relena's face, Duo cursed himself for being weak to the ladies. Oh well, this was for Heero. With a silent sigh at his own masochistic stupidity, he interrupted. "What dinner is that?"

Relena turned to him, trying to mask her disappointment. "It's a charity dinner that I was hoping Heero would attend."

"A charity dinner, sounds like a worthwhile cause, don't you think?" Duo raised an eyebrow at Heero. "Good food, a pretty lady by your side, and all to help others – a pretty good use of your time and money, if I do say so myself. You should go. God knows you need all the help you can get, social-wise."

Heero looked hard at him, and Duo stared back steadily with a determined smile. He wasn't going to let Heero see how much it had taken him to say what he had. It wasn't as if he wanted a relationship with Heero, anyway; better to let these unwanted feelings die in the face of Relena's perfection.

_Liar_, the bunny said in a sing-song manner.

_I don't want to get hurt again_, Duo told the bunny – and himself – firmly.

"Alright," Heero said finally, never once looking away from Duo. The American barely registered Relena's delighted little gasp and the look of pure happiness on her face; Heero's blue eyes filled his entire vision, intent and diamond-hard. "But only if you go as well."

Duo's eyes widened. "But I'm not –" _worthy, not fit to walk in such high circles, nothing but a rat._ He managed to bite off the rest of his sentence before it came out.

Heero shrugged lightly, still not breaking their gaze. "That is my condition," he said simply.

Relena's exclamation of '_Duo, please say you'll go!_' was white noise, unimportant, as Duo stared back, trying desperately to figure out what Heero was playing at. In the end, though, he didn't have much of a choice. "Fine," he sighed, finally looking away.

"Oh, thank you! You won't regret it, the chefs they hired for this event are all from award-winning kitchens, and – I really shouldn't babble on," Relena said in a rush. "You just have to show up, I'll bring the tickets – I'll email you the details, Heero."

"Yes, thank you," Heero said shortly. He nodded to Relena. "I am grateful that you took time out to speak to me," he said cordially.

Relena shook her head instantly. "No problem, Heero. Anytime."

Heero nodded once, and gestured at the entrance. "After you," he said.

The girl blushed slightly, and moved forward. Duo fell into step behind her with Heero, all too aware of both the warmth of the body next to him as they navigated the narrow spaces between tables and chairs, and of the whispers and stares from the rest of the customers. They bid farewell to Relena on the sidewalk, and watched her board a pink limousine that was quickly lost to sight in the traffic.

"Pink," Duo said finally, when he couldn't take the cold silence anymore.

"She likes it," was all Heero said. "You came by car?"

"Uh… no," Duo admitted. "Petrol prices, you know."

Heero snorted. "And yet you agree to splurge on an over-priced dinner."

"Hey – you were the one who gave me no choice!"

"You could have said no."

"As if. You knew I wanted you to go, so you knew I'd say yes!"

"Why did you?"

"Huh?" Duo was lost. "Haven't we been through that already?"

"Why did you want me to go so badly?"

"Uh… because you should go out more often?" Duo tried.

"Is that all?" Heero's voice was unreadable. He turned around and started walking.

Duo jogged to catch up. "Well – because Relena really wanted you to go, and I felt bad for her. Because it's going to be a good experience for you. Because it really is for a good cause that I don't mind spending on. Take your pick, I guess."

"Hmm." There was no way to guess what Heero meant, or what he was feeling, as he said, "You would have encouraged me to go even if it meant leaving you all alone while I go out with a female acquaintance?"

Was that a trick question? Did Heero know that Relena – scratch that, of course he knew. Just because he wasn't interested in romantic relationships didn't mean he didn't know about them. He couldn't be trying to imply that Duo had possessive thoughts or something, right? He'd been so careful! No, there was just no way.

In that case, Duo had no idea what Heero was trying to say, so he went for the simple answer: "I have no idea what you're trying to say."

To his surprise, as he watched Heero out of the corner of his eye, Heero's lips twitched in a faint smile. "An honest and ambiguous answer."

Duo had to grin. "Matches your question perfectly, doesn't it?"

Heero's smile widened a tiny fraction. "You're… an enigma, Duo Maxwell."

"Look who's talking!"

They arrived at Heero's car. Pausing with his hand on the driver's side door handle, Heero tilted his head and considered Duo. He seemed to be coming up with and discarding various things to say, before he settled on: "So you like chocolate?"

"Love it," Duo said immediately, grinning, relieved that it wasn't a sensitive topic. "I thought you'd have realized by now!"

They got into the car. "I did wonder," Heero said as he started the engine, "but you hardly ever eat any."

Duo shrugged, a little self-conscious. "I'm trying to watch my weight," he said lightly. He was wrong – this _really_ wasn't a good line of conversation either.

"I… see." Heero's answer was suspiciously thoughtful and mysterious, but just as Duo was about to demand that he say what he was thinking, Heero switched topics. "Do you own a suit?"

Duo groaned and smacked his forehead. "Nothing remotely resembling one," he said in resignation. "Lovely, I'll have to rent one then."

"You should own at least one," Heero said. "Just in case."

"Nah, I'll never get the chance to wear it, unless something like this happens – once in a lifetime, so I'm fine," Duo said dismissively.

"Maybe," was Heero's cryptic answer.

Duo twisted in his seat to jab a finger in Heero's chest. "Okay, 'fess up this time," he demanded. "What sneaky thoughts are you harbouring?"

"Oh… nothing much. Just – everyone needs at least one outfit that they can wear to formal or semi-formal events."

"I work from home, I run in middle-class circles, I stay well away from any posh stuff – I don't foresee any formal or semi-formal in the near future. Or the distant future. Or in any future at all." Duo paused as he registered the road they were on. "And this isn't the way back to our apartment," he added suspiciously.

"We are going to Clark's," Heero said calmly.

"What's Clark's?"

"The place where Quatre brought me when he forced me to buy a formal outfit."

"Oh, hell no!" Duo smacked Heero's shoulder. "Turn around, now!"

Heero turned his head slightly, just enough to give Duo a steely-eyed glare. "Either you agree to this now," he said very precisely, "or I bring in Quatre."

Duo gaped. "You wouldn't!" he cried dramatically, hand to his heart. "Not Quatre! Anything but Quatre!"

"Be a man," Heero said solemnly. "Face your fate."

"Yeah, yeah," Duo grumbled as he settled back down. "You're violating the Geneva Convention, you know. This is cruel and unjust torture, plus you're threatening me with a weapon of mass destruction."

"Oh, not at all. Quatre's a weapon of very _specialised_ destruction. He'll hone in on you and nothing else until his job is done."

"True, that. Alas! Foiled by a technical loophole." Duo was aware that he was grinning, and that all the tension of the past half-hour had vanished. Bantering with Heero always had that effect on him. Oh well, it looked like he had no choice but to go along with this thing. He couldn't bring himself to reject Heero, after all.

This would wreck his budget, though. He needed to cut some expenses, minimise the damage… this month was the month where his quarter-annual donation to the church's orphanage was due, he'd try his best to keep that amount normal…

Duo sank deep into his thoughts, trying to balance his expenses, and Heero let him have his silence. Only when he pulled over and turned the engine off did he reach over to tap Duo on the shoulder.

"What?"

"We're here." Heero got out of the car without waiting for an answer, and Duo blinked after him for a moment before scrambling up, grunting as the seatbelt stopped him. He unsnapped the belt with a muttered curse before hurrying out of his seat and after his roommate.

Clark's was an expensive-looking little boutique, nestled among other equally posh-looking shops on a lane that stretched to either side. Duo felt completely out of place as he followed Heero in, grimacing as he heard the little bell on the door jingle expensively into the hush of the shop.

The front area was like a little living room, with some catalogues on a low-rise table and leather couches to one side, and a counter on the other. There was no one behind the counter, though.

Seeing his chance, Duo said with false disappointment, "Oh dear, they're closed, let's go." He spun on his heel –

"Welcome to Clark's, gentlemen – Mr Yuy!"

He knew that voice.

"I never thought we'd see you again here of your own free will..."

Oh, god.

Duo spun on his heel and sprinted for the door, his braid flying out behind him. No way, fate couldn't be _this_ cruel – "Ow!"

Heero's grip on his hair was firm. "You're not escaping, Duo."

"Heero, let _go_ –"

"Duo...?"

Wonderful. Fucking wonderful.

Duo turned around with a bright, amazed, completely false grin. "Walt! What the hell are you doing in a posh shop like this? It's like seeing a duck out of water!"

"Ducks can walk on land, moron," Walt laughed. He looked the same, sandy hair, blue eyes. "You haven't changed! How've you been? Why did you leave so suddenly?"

"Oh, just wanted a change of scenery." Duo prayed that he wouldn't continue along that line of conversation. Of all people, he had to run into an ex-Sweeper? Thank the gods that at least Walt seemed to be unaware of the reasons for Duo's leaving. "And you? From mechanic to shop boy in a suit, there's gotta be a story behind that."

Walt grinned sheepishly. "Found myself a girl… figured that this looks better than being in dirty overalls and up to my neck in grease."

"Walt, my man, if the girl wants you to change who you are, she's not worth it." Duo patted his shoulder mock-solemnly.

"No, this was all my decision," Walt said hastily. "I just want her to see me at my best, that's all."

Duo's smile faltered. It was back in place in an instant, and from Walt's continued cheerfulness he knew that his old friend hadn't caught that slip, but he was afraid that Heero, standing to one side, definitely had. Damn Heero and his sniper-trained eyes!

"So it's you who's here for a suit?" Walt was saying.

Duo nodded sadly. "I'm being subjected to high society torture. There will be harpies and leeches and sharp pointy toothpicks with sausages. I will have to eat and stab for my life."

"It's a charity dinner," Heero interjected blandly.

"It's a carnival dog show! Only without the carnival and the barking. Oh, wait, I take back that bit about barking."

"You were the one who wanted me to go."

"I wanted _you_ to go, one person being fed to the sharks is enough, thankyouverymuch!"

Walt was laughing as Heero and Duo eyed each other. Heero's lips were twitching, and Duo found himself hard pressed to smile, too. Heero was becoming more and more gorgeous by the day, as he learned to relax.

_Whoa, wait a minute. Where did that come from?_

_Don't look at me,_ the bunny protested. _I only do tasteless jokes, not sappy corny lines._

_Mwahahaha!_

…_what the hell?_ Duo and the bunny chorused.

_Mwahahaha!_

…_that's it, I need to see a psychiatrist. And soon. I do not need two and a half personalities stuck in my head!_

_Wait, two and a half?_

_Yeah, you only count as half._

_What!_

_You're a bunny, you can't have a full grown personality._

_That's speciesm! And if I'm only half a personality – which I am not – then the mad laughter should only count as a quarter!_

…_I am not having this conversation with myself._ Duo tuned back into the conversation going on between Heero and Walt. Apparently they were discussing which style and colour and cut would suit him best. Duo blanched. A suit was a suit; why the hell were terrifying things like 'satin' and 'ruffles' even being mentioned?

Walt disappeared into the back, and Duo found himself being led by the elbow into a dressing area. Heero released his elbow and gave him a light shove towards one of the doors. "Start undressing," he ordered.

Duo put a mock-horrified hand to his chest. "So soon in our relationship? We haven't even had one candlelit dinner yet!"

Heero rolled his eyes. "Walt's going to come in with suits soon, so stop wasting time."

"You just want me for my body!" Duo called over his shoulder as he ducked into one of the rooms and began undressing.

"Well I clearly don't want you for your intellect."

Duo burst out laughing, but quickly bit it back. "Your charming wit and dashing manners must earn you a lot of friends."

"I know, I can't think why. Is there a cure?"

Duo heard Walt's laughter enter the area, and fought back a small spike of jealousy. He didn't want anyone else to know of this side of Heero. _Don't be stupid, Duo_, he told himself, and called, "My torture devices here yet?"

"I chose the ones with the most ruffles just for you," Walt informed him through the door.

Duo opened the door wide enough to receive a hunch of suits on hangers, and closed it again. He hung them up on the walls with a groan. "I'm going to be here for hours!"

"Less talking, more undressing," Heero ordered from outside.

"Come in here and say it again, and bring a whip," Duo replied in the most suggestive voice he could muster. He pulled up the pants, and pulled on a shirt.

"The dressing room's not big enough for a whip to manoeuvre."

"Ooh, you sound… _experienced_."

Duo could almost _hear_ Heero rolling his eyes. "Are you done yet?"

"Patience is a virtue, especially in bed!" Duo finished the tiny, tricky buttons, and pulled on the jacket. "Done."

He stepped out, and Walt whistled. "Man, Duo, you do clean up well," he said appreciatively.

It was Heero who Duo watched, though. Those blue eyes widened a fraction, and then a neutral expression settled on Heero's face. "Not bad," he agreed.

Duo sighed in frustration, but internally. He really wished that he could read Heero better, sometimes, but he knew he was doing amazingly well to be able to read the few expressions and tones of voice that he already could.

Walt and Heero exchanged a few words in a foreign language involving words such as 'slim fit' and 'cravat' and 'French cuffs', before sending him back in to try another suit. Joy.

There actually was a shirt with ruffles, which Duo absolutely refused to try on until Heero gave him that half-annoyed, half-amused look and said 'please', which was CHEATING, but it worked. Duo tried it on, and while he looked like a complete fop, he looked like a charming one (in Walt's words).

After twenty minutes of mix-and-matching, and various long, nasty looking pins, Walt and Heero agreed on a 'perfect' cut and somehow arranged for things to be tailored exactly to Duo's specifications. Duo just smiled and nodded and prayed for them to keep off discussing Duo's past, but thankfully it was all business. Duo should have known; this was Heero, after all.

The two of them disappeared off somewhere while Duo changed back. When he was done, he hurried back out, not wanting to risk leaving the two of them alone. If they made small talk, it would likely be about him, and he did not want that at all.

What he found, when he re-entered the main room, was far worse: Heero at the counter, keeping his wallet. Duo's jaw dropped. "You didn't."

Heero raised an eyebrow at him. "Okay, I didn't," he said. He nodded at Walt. "I will be back in two days to collect it."

Walt gave him a little bow. "I'll see you then, Mr Yuy."

Duo's eyes narrowed. "Heero Yuy…"

Heero gave him a little smirk, turned on his heel, and walked out. Duo spent two seconds gaping after him before coming to his senses and rushing out as well, calling a hasty goodbye to Walt, who was – again, the bastard! – laughing.

The Japanese man was already in the car when Duo barged out onto the sidewalk. Scowling, Duo got in as well and half-twisted in his seat to glare at Heero. "You're not paying for my suit."

"No, I am not," Heero agreed, pulling easily out of the parallel parking spot.

"I am going to…" Duo trailed off. "What?"

"I am currently driving, not paying for your suit. I have already paid for your suit. Get your tenses right, Duo."

"You know, your humour crops up in the most irritating places."

Heero ignored him with the calm of a monk.

"Look, Heero, I appreciate the thought, but I don't take charity, okay? Just let me pay you back –"

"It's not charity, it's an apology," Heero interrupted.

"What apology?" Duo said blankly.

"I tricked you into coming with me to the dinner. I owe you at least the materials you will need to attend it."

Duo blinked, not expecting Heero to admit it so easily. "Oh. Actually, it's okay, you didn't really trick me, I –"

"In that case, then since you graciously agreed to accompany, the least I could do is to provide you the materials you will need to do so."

"Wha…" Duo's jaw dropped. "You sneaky little…"

Heero was smirking. "Just give it up, Duo."

They argued all the back to the apartment, but Heero wouldn't budge. Duo finally gave up and decided that he would just have to try sneaking cash into Heero's wallet bit by bit until it was all paid off.

Of course, he didn't know how much it cost. Damn. He'd have to go back to ask Walt, and tell him to keep his mouth shut on his past. There were things there that he didn't want Heero to know.

But, you know… issues of pride aside, Duo had a warm feeling in his chest that Heero would do this for him – bring him to get a suit, help him choose one, pay for it, the whole process. It was almost like they were a couple.

"Oh, and Duo…"

"Hmm?" Duo looked up.

There was a faint smile on Heero's face. "Whatever money you put into my wallet will just be put back into yours."

Duo sputtered. "What the – okay, that whole mind reading is damn creepy!"

Heero shrugged, that damnable smile still on his face. "Just so you know." He headed to his study, opened the door, grimaced, and called over his shoulder, "And you're removing the ball from my study by tomorrow or I'm removing both of yours!"

"You need it more than I do!" he yelled back as Heero closed the door.

Yeah, definitely a couple.

Duo grinned to himself, but then he realized what he was doing, and it faded. Wasn't he supposed to just lust after Heero from afar? Wasn't he supposed to not get involved? Did he _want_ to get hurt again?

And yet…

_I'm already falling for him,_ Duo realized with resignation. _So much for learning my lesson._

Heero was different, though. Heero wasn't a bastard, or a jerk, or anything like that. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, if it was Heero. Maybe it would be okay to try again.

But if he tried, and Heero wasn't gay, then he'd have lost someone who was fast becoming a good friend.

_Damn it._

Good mood gone, Duo trudged to his room to begin his work.

He had a lot to think about.

* * *

A long chapter to make up for the long wait. (: Sorry that it's a bit dull, I know there's not much going on here, but it was necessary to introduce some new elements to Duo. Humour will be in short supply from now on, but as a trade-off you'll get more relationship advancements. Hope that helps.

More of Duo's dark past (or not so dark, really) coming up!

**Ashen Skies**_  
"Be a man. Face your fate."_


	11. Skeletons in Closets

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Wing, have any relation to Gundam Wing, have no permission from those who created Gundam Wing to write this. This is purely for fun, to waste time, and to make other people happy reading and to spread the joy of slashy literature to all those poor unenlightened Fellow Man out there. I am making no profit from this.

**Pairings: **2x1x2, side pairing 3x4

**Summary:** Heero was perfectly happy as a workaholic recluse, but then Quatre declared War on him and suddenly there's a sugar-high American at his door, messing up the house and showing him that maybe, he hadn't been that happy after all...

* * *

**Roommate: Unwanted**

_Chapter Eleven: Skeletons in Closets_

_

* * *

_

Arms limber: check.

Legs limber: check.

Torso limber: check.

Clothes loose and not restricting movement: check.

Well then.

Heero Yuy took a deep breath, rolled his shoulders to loosen them one last time, faced the front door of his apartment squarely, turned the knob, and shoved the door open in one decisive movement.

Paint pellets shot directly at his chest, but he'd already dived out of the way, and they splattered against the far wall of the hallway. He didn't notice, though, seeing as avoiding the pellets had led him directly into the path of three pillows that swooped from nowhere to hit him in the face – or at least, to hit the empty air where his face had been, as he ducked all three in quick succession, the agile twists of his body as he moved amazingly graceful and rather improbable, considering that little thing called gravity.

Some artful footwork and flexibility saw him through cleverly hidden threads stretching from the floor to a distance above his head. He was all too aware of the traps overhead that they would release once triggered. He did a neat back-flip over a stack of wooden beams, the last hurdle, and landed on his feet with a flourish. Unable to keep a small smirk of satisfaction from surfacing, he swept his arms out to the sides in a gymnast's finishing pose –

And got hit smack in the face with a pie.

"……"

There was the sound of slow clapping. "Bravo, Heero, bravo. That was easily a nine, maybe nine and a half – I especially loved that last bit with the arms. A lovely touch. Encore! Encore! En – _ack_."

There were several splats, followed by a thud.

Heero wiped the cream out of his eyes and licked some off his lips. Not bad – both the cream, very fresh, very light, and the effect of the splatter-gun. Well, he called it a splatter-gun, there was no real name for it since he'd just invented it, but the name was pretty apt if he did say so himself.

"Air!" _Gasp, gasp, choke._ "Air!"

"Reminds you of the first time we met, doesn't it?" he said conversationally, fighting a smile as he watched Duo theatrically clutch at his (paint-splattered) stomach with one (paint-splattered) hand and wave the other (also paint-splattered) hand in the air, like a drowning man. He hadn't expected the impact to be so strong, but that _was_ a very nice bonus. He'd modified one of his spare paint-pellet guns to create a paint-_bomb_ gun. It splattered paint all over the target very satisfactorily, hence the name. Unfortunately, it meant that he had to sacrifice bits of his wall and floor and even the ceiling as innocent bystanders to stray paint flecks, but that was a small price to pay.

"Aaaaair!"

"If you can drag that syllable out for so long, you can breathe." Heero turned to survey the mess that was his entrance hallway as he absently wiped at the rest of his face. "Chinese today, I left it outside as usual, and it'll get cold if we don't get started on this now. You _know_ how long the strings take to dismantle."

"Yeah, yeah. That's the best part, though. Plus, watching you go through – man, the contortions your body can…" Duo trailed off in the middle, an odd look on his face, as if he was listening to some inner voice. He licked his lips. "Um."

Heero rolled his eyes, used to the sight. The other man would sometimes get that expression, and once in a while, Duo would even blush along with that look. Heero found it unnerving, because he could very well guess what Duo was thinking. He wasn't some clueless innocent after all. He just tried his best to ignore Duo and not think about it.

_Admit it, you find it cute._

Damn it, he was Heero Yuy, and Heero Yuy did not find things cute!

Which was why, as usual, he ignored the other man and turned instead to the wooden beams (where in the world did Duo get these things?). He grunted slightly as he lifted one and carried it over to a spare piece of wall, leaning the beam against it, muscles working but not straining – this weight was nothing to him. There was a choked squeak from where Duo was standing, and he rolled his eyes again, a faint smile forming. When he realized it was there, he bit his lip quickly and got his expression under control before going back to the remaining two beams.

He was moving the third one when Duo finally joined in, going to work carefully on the web of strings, taking the upper half while Heero, when he was done, took the lower. He really disliked the reminder of Duo's height superiority, but there was no helping it. At least Duo didn't use that fact in their little war, seeming to prefer to pick at issues to do with things that he _could_ help, like his physical abilities, and avoiding the easy topics like his height. For that he'd gained Heero's grudging respect.

_Respect, hell – it's past respect. You don't just respect that, you _like_ that about him._

He easily avoided a spoon that came twanging down at him from the ceiling, and a quick flick of a string near his left foot managed to nail Duo on the nose with a rubber aardvark. He smirked at Duo, who made a face at him but then broke out into a grin and gave him a thumbs-up. He couldn't help the tiny smile that flickered out of existence as fast as it had appeared, but Duo caught sight of it nevertheless, and his grin grew even wider before he turned back to his work.

That had become routine, too – trying to get each other while dismantling the traps, just as actually _going _through the traps had become… normal. Recently Heero had to go out often, to deal with some problems with his publishing company that couldn't be dealt with properly via his normal method of email and phone communication – some problem with restructuring had caused confusion about his editors, and now they couldn't find who held his most recent manuscript.

He had to admit, though, that the first time he had returned home, in a black mood because of the incompetent upper management, and been hit in the ribs with a foam float, he had been _beyond pissed_.

Yet at the same time, he had (reluctantly) admired the extent of the creativity involved, and the dismantling war had been fast and furious, Heero getting into it when Duo, ordered to undo it, had used the opportunity to his advantage. The second time he'd opened the door, Heero had been more prepared, and it had actually been rather… exhilarating. The third time, and this fourth one, had both been – dare he admit it? – _fun._

He almost looked forward to the days when he had to go out, now.

It didn't mean that he took all that lying down, of course – oh, no. Heero smiled in fond remembrance of the dating ad (in honour of the ad that had started it all; Duo had had to get his number changed twice), the hacking incident (the squeaking, pop-song-singing elephants were still disco-ing around Duo's laptop screen, he believed, and since he'd tampered with the sound controls, Duo had had to resort to wearing earplugs), the sneaky replacement of the contents of all his jacketed books with bad porn…

And his current scheme, which was costing him quite a bit of both time and money, but he believed would all be worth it in the end.

Heero had come up with the idea when he'd noticed Duo's discomfort with the chocolate cake in the café where he'd met Relena. He was able to read his roommate quite well by now, and he was confident that his latest trick would be the one to win the war.

Done with dismantling the traps, Heero retrieved the Chinese takeout from outside the door. Setting the food out was a matter of moments, and they were eating in short order. Heero noticed how Duo was eating less, and more slowly, and smirked to himself.

He finished the last of the food on his plate, and stood, picking up his dishes. "I'm done," he announced, heading to the sink and putting his dishes away before heading towards the kitchen door.

Duo's voice was slightly panicked as he said, "Already? But – I can't finish all this food!"

"I had a late lunch," Heero said. "A big, late lunch."

"But –"

"I have lot of work to do," was the severe reply. "Please do not waste my time. You are a growing adult, this amount of food should be no problem for you."

He marched out of the kitchen to Duo's sputters, and allowed himself another smirk. He'd also noticed that Duo never wasted food, perhaps a remnant of a childhood of scarce resources? In any case, even if he had to force himself, Duo would finish all the food. He never seemed to put on weight, though.

At least, not in reality.

Locking himself in his study, Heero went straight to his email. Duo was going out the next day, so it was time for the newest installation to arrive.

* * *

Duo stared at himself in the mirror, a wave of despair washing over him. He'd gone out for lunch with one of his clients, so he'd been forced to eat lunch, which he'd been refraining from eating for the past weeks.

When he'd come back, one look in the mirror told him how bad things had gotten.

It wasn't just the mirror. It was the gradual increase in the number on the weighing scale, and the gradual tightening of his clothes. He didn't even dare look in mirrors when he walked past them outside. Pulling his smart-casual clothes off, he tossed them into the corner, fishing out his largest, comfiest shirt and shorts. At least those were still fitting – _though that might just be a matter of time at the rate I'm going,_ Duo thought morosely.

He just didn't get it – how was this happening? His genes, regular exercise, and his active personality and lifestyle had always ensured his trim figure, but now… it was too early for a mid-life crisis, wasn't it?

Memories whispered, ugly and dark, at the back of his mind. _Rat-boy,_ they growled, _orphan boy. Fag. Sissy, weirdo, ugly._

_You don't belong here._

_I don't want you._

Gritting his teeth, Duo grabbed his gym bag. Before dinner with Heero, which he wouldn't miss for the world no matter how fat it might make him, he could hit the gym for a few hours –

"Duo, you're back." Heero stood in the doorway, car keys dangling from his hand. He held up two coupons with his other. "I have a discount on a high tea buffet, want to go?"

_Bloody hell_. Duo bit his lip, wavering. On one hand, he really couldn't afford to eat more. On the other hand, it was rare that Heero invited him to go out, and he tried to never miss any chance to be with the other man.

"Um, I just ate lunch," he hedged. "Is the discount valid for dinner?"

"Just high tea." Heero shrugged, turning away. "It's okay, we don't have to use these, I can just throw this away –"

"That's a waste," Duo blurted. He grimaced as his own words registered. "Damn… okay, let's go."

Heero eyed him. "If you don't want to, you don't have to force yourself. If you go for the buffet and don't eat much, you're wasting the food and the money in the end."

That struck a chord in Duo – it was true, it would be a waste… and he'd learned never to waste anything. He'd had that lesson imprinted into his very bones.

Pasting a half-forced smile on his face, Duo shook his head. "I'll eat, I'll eat," he said with false light-heartedness. "Shoo, I need to change."

"I'll be in the car." The door closed behind Heero.

Sighing, Duo pulled out some casual clothes and began changing. _I'll go to the gym tomorrow,_ he told himself. _Nothing a little exercise won't cure._

_Yeah. Everything will be fine.

* * *

_

"Duo. Dinner."

There was a long pause from inside the room. Then, finally, Duo's falsely-cheerful voice: "Actually, I'm not really hungry today, Heero. If you have leftovers, I'll freeze them and have them for lunch tomorrow, okay?"

Heero blinked at the door, caught off-guard, a rare event. "You don't want to have dinner with me?"

"No, no, nothing of the sort!" The door opened, and Duo smiled at him, but there was something off about it. "I can watch you eat, I guess. Oh, I could be your musical accompaniment! Well, not so musical, actually, more like conversational, but you could just take it as background –"

Cutting him off, Heero tried again. "It would be odd having you watch me eat while not eating yourself," he pointed out.

There was a slightly hunted look in Duo's eyes. "Nah, just take me as some sort of human radio, okay? Just sort of there, but you don't have to take any notice of me –"

"Forget it." Heero spun sharply on his heel and stalked off to the kitchen. He expected to hear Duo running after him with an apology and saying that he'd eat with him after all, but to his surprise – and a little anger, a little disappointment – there was only silence. Then, as he rounded the corner to the kitchen, disappearing from Duo's view, he heard the quiet _click_ of a door.

It made him stop in his tracks. Duo always ate dinner with him. The other man took pains to be able to eat dinner with him every day. Yet tonight, just now…

Heero scowled and continued into the kitchen, all appetite gone. This was _frustrating_, and more than a little annoying. His plan was working perfectly. It was sheer genius. Not a detail had been missed, not a thing was suspected. Duo had fallen completely for the trick, and this battle was overwhelmingly his own victory.

So why didn't he feel satisfied at all?

Instead, as Duo grew quieter, as he bowed out of engagements more often, as he lost that quintessential light that made him annoyingly _Duo_, Heero found himself actually _worrying_ over the idiot. He found himself missing the easy camaraderie that had grown between them, instead of the awkward tension that had sprung up in the last few weeks.

He wasn't supposed to suffer along with Duo, damn it!

The problem was that this reaction was too… extreme. Heero had expected the normal reaction that people had when they realised they were gaining weight: griping, grumbling, grudging dieting and amusing woebegone giving-up of their favourite foods. Duo, however, was taking this way too seriously.

Heero had always thought that it all came naturally to Duo – the looks and the charm both, the other man mostly unaware of it and not taking undue advantage or care. It was yet another one of the things he liked about Duo, as loath to admit it as he was, even to himself. He couldn't have judged the other man so wrongly, could he?

No. That couldn't be it.

_Do you really hate me all that much, already?_

That quiet, wistful question whispered through Heero's mind, trailing in its wake a smile so full of painful history, a memory from the very first day Duo had entered his life.

With a muttered curse, Heero spun around again and headed back to Duo's room. He rapped impatiently on the wood, crossing his arms over his chest as he waited for a reply, not bothering to hide his scowl. He didn't know why he was doing this, but he couldn't let this state of affairs continue. He didn't want to think about _why_, because he had a feeling he really didn't want to know the answer.

The door opened slightly, cautiously. One violet eye peeked out. "Heero?"

Heero pushed hard on the door, not letting up, and Duo was forced to step back. The door swung open, and Duo crossed his own arms defensively, mimicking Heero's pose. "What? I _am_ sorry about dinner, but I'm really not hungry –"

"The mirrors are made of a special flexible material that works as a mirror on one side, but which can be manipulated to bend in certain ways to create the illusion of length or breadth. It's a prototype that I obtained from a contact of mine when I volunteered to conduct a field test." Heero watched Duo like a hawk, examining every reaction. "Every time you left the house, I would adjust the angle a little more to create the illusion that you were putting on weight."

There was something akin to horrified understanding dawning in violet eyes. "You mean – all this time – it was –" He swallowed and uncrossed his arms to rub at his face. "What… what about the clothes?" he said, weakly.

"You have few articles of clothing that are form-fitting and that you wear out. All I had to do was adjust the seams slightly. It did not take much time."

Duo was taking in deep, gulping breaths. One hand moved as if to tug at his clothes, but the movement was abandoned halfway, the hand dropping limply back to his side. "So – all this was just… a trick."

"Yes."

"Oh god." Duo blinked rapidly. "Okay. Okay. Um… wow, you sure got me good!" Suddenly he was laughing, all unsteadiness gone, the picture of relieved joviality. "Man, I never suspected a thing, that was brilliant, man, just brilliant. I should be pissed at you, but wow, I'm just amazed. Seriously, the effort you went to – say, why did you tell me? You could have gone on for weeks before I realised! You spoiled your own trick, you know."

Heero stared at the too-bright grin, and at the eyes half-closed in supposed mirth, and felt the beginnings of irrational anger. Duo was hiding, even now, and he hated it. "You know why," he said coldly.

The smile turned slightly confused, but remained, a mask. "What're you talking about, Heero?"

"Why ask me? I do not know why your appearance affects you so much. Ask yourself; only you know. What do I know about you, really?" His words were stiff with anger, stilted. "You ask me to open up to you, but you do not accord me the same courtesy. You know about my past, you know the biggest secret of all the secrets I have, and yet I know nothing about yours – your past _or_ your secrets."

He stepped into Duo's private space, tilting his head to glare up at him. "What are you hiding, Duo Maxwell?" he said, quiet but forceful. "Is your friendship only worth so little?"

Duo's eyes widened, and that hunted look came back. "Heero…"

That one word was enough. Heero set his jaw grimly and stepped back. "I thought so." He turned and walked out of the room, anger still simmering, but oddly, edged with hurt. His emotions were so alien to him, these days. It took him only a moment to find his keys and wallet, and then, locking his study behind him, he headed for the front door.

"Heero… wait, where are you going?" Duo had emerged from his room, panic clear in his voice and face.

"Out."

"But – it's already late."

"I won't be back anytime soon."

"What do you – the charity dinner's tomorrow night, you can't miss –"

"Find your way there yourself."

Heero reached for the front door, wanting _out._ Seeing Duo make a move as if to stop him, or follow him, he cut the other man a deadly look, something he hadn't used ever since he'd found himself becoming closer to Duo. The lack of practice hadn't taken the sharp edge off the look, though, judging by the way Duo froze. He felt a small, petty, vindictive pleasure at that.

In the silence, Heero closed the front door with a quiet click, and left.

* * *

_One way or another, tonight is going to be miserable._

The apartment echoed with accusing silence, and Duo sighed heavily for the hundredth time that day. He stared unhappily at himself in the mirror – Heero's, so it was safe – and tugged half-heartedly at his collar, straightening it. The tux was a perfect fit. If only he'd thought to put it on earlier, to check if its measurements were still fitting, then he would have seen through Heero's trick earlier and all this wouldn't have happened.

Things had been going really well, too, but now…

Duo hadn't gotten any sleep the last night, waiting to hear the front door open. He'd dozed off at dawn, gotten two fitful hours of rest, and then gotten up to pace around the apartment the entire morning. He'd done a compulsive cleaning spree in the afternoon, and had gone from guilt to anger – Heero had been the one to play the trick, who was he to get mad, huh? – and back to guilt by the time he was done.

It wasn't Heero's fault that Duo had a screwed up personal history. The Japanese man couldn't have known.

_But he should have._ The bunny was subdued today, too. _You should have told him something. Anything. Hell, you know that he was raised by an assassin, for god's sake. Shouldn't you have given him something back?_

_I didn't think about it, okay? He never asked anything anyway!_

_You know how he's like. You know he'd never make the effort to talk about these things, but he responds more than willingly nowadays to any effort _you_ make, and he's even asked you to go out a few times already. That's just his way._

Duo sighed again. Great. They weren't even going out yet and they'd already had their first big storm-out-the-door falling out.

He really didn't feel like going for the dinner, but he'd promised Relena, and he'd paid for it, and the tux would just go to waste, which was a pity after all the trouble he'd gone through for it. A brief smile tugged at his lips as he remembered that trip, but it faded again as the memory of Heero's smile was replaced by the memory of his angry, hurt eyes.

He remembered the decision he'd come to, all those weeks back after the tux-shopping trip, about taking things slow. Friendship first, above all – he wasn't going to burden Heero with his feelings. But maybe… maybe that was him just being selfish? Taking things slow was another way of not getting too involved, another way of holding back. Taking things slow and keeping things close to his chest had led to what happened yesterday. But what had happened last night was exactly what he'd been scared of – being rejected, being hurt again, just when he was getting close. So maybe it had been the right thing to do, because he wasn't as hurt now as he _would_ have been if he'd allowed himself to fall all the harder for Heero?

Um.

"I suck as psycho-analysing myself," Duo muttered.

The doorbell rang. Duo jumped, startled, and then the sound registered and he ran for it. His heart pounded with sudden adrenaline and hope as he flung the door wide. "Heero –"

The rest of the sentence died unspoken when his gaze hit chin, and then when he raised it, met sympathetic green eyes. After all these weeks of living with Heero, it was a little weird to have to look up instead of slightly down. He plastered on a smile. "Oh, hi… Trowa, isn't it?"

Trowa nodded. "It's nice to see you again, Duo."

"After that restaurant fiasco, I didn't think any of you would like to see me again!" Duo joked, stepping aside to let him in. Belatedly, he added, "If you're here to see Heero, he's not in."

"I gathered." Trowa entered with a nod to him. "Also, it was Heero who instructed me to collect his suit."

Relief and apprehension warred in Duo. On one hand, he was glad that Heero wasn't mad enough to skip the dinner because of him, but on the other hand, he had no idea how awkward it was going to be, the two of them at the same table. He set those worries aside for now as he trailed Trowa to Heero's room. "So… um… how is he?"

"Sulking."

Duo blinked at the faintly amused tone in Trowa's voice. _Sulking?_ Wasn't that taking things too lightly? "Heero was pretty pissed when he left yesterday," he hedged.

Trowa paused, his hand on the half-open wardrobe door. He turned to look thoughtfully at Duo, who tried to look as innocent as possible. "He was," was the reply, "when he arrived at our house. Luckily, Quatre was at home, and he took Heero aside. When they came out, Quatre had that smug little look of his on his face, and Heero was… sulking."

"…oh." Duo had no idea what to make of this.

"They refuse to tell me what happened, and throughout this entire day they've been whispering together. Well, Quatre was doing most of the whispering, but the fact that Heero was actually listening is rare enough." Trowa fished out a suit protected in a plastic sheath, and closed the door. "Looks like I'll be talking to you tonight."

"Tonight? You're coming to the dinner, too?" Duo hoped the relief in his voice wasn't too evident.

"Quatre and Relena generally move in the same circles, and they invite each other to these things all the time. And I go where Quatre goes." Trowa looked around at the room, and a tiny smirked surfaced. "So this is the infamous masterpiece Quatre waxed lyrical about. The living room is nice, but this…"

Duo had to grin, even though his emotions and thoughts were all tangled up. "Personally, I'm amazed Heero hasn't gotten anyone in to paint it over yet."

"So am I." Trowa turned to face him fully, gaze surprisingly intent. "What happened yesterday?"

"Uh…" Feeling trapped, Duo frantically tried to piece together an explanation that was satisfactory and yet not too revealing. "There was this prank…"

"Duo." Trowa's serious voice made him pause. "Quatre and I were talking about this a while ago, but we were too busy to come find you… you do know that we consider you a friend on your own merit?"

"Uh…"

Trowa nodded. "I thought so." He patted Duo's shoulder with his free hand. "I'm sorry that we haven't been in touch. We've been busy these last few weeks, but we got things pretty much sorted out a couple of day ago, and now that Heero showed up yesterday… if I know Quatre, you'll be seeing a lot of us from now on." He smiled faintly. "Quatre would have come here to talk to you, if Heero hadn't threatened him with his disappearance."

"Quatre's disappearance?" Duo said blankly.

Trowa snorted. "No, his own. He knows that's the only threat Quatre will take even semi-seriously."

Duo thought about it, and cracked a smile. "Yeah, I can imagine that."

"You know…" Trowa hesitated, and then sighed. "I've had lunch with Heero a few times since Codfish's, and he's… mellowed. Quatre says the same thing. Wufei had dinner with Heero before he left for China last week – some conference, I think – and he called us immediately afterward to express his surprise at how Heero 'is becoming more of a normal person', in his words. We all agree that it's probably due to you."

"Yeah, well, never let it be said that I don't live up to my promises," Duo said lightly, feeling a little awkward at the praise. "That was my deal with Quatre, after all."

"It's gone past a simple deal, and you know it." Trowa shook his head. "I won't press the issue. Normally I don't like to talk much, but Heero's a good friend, and I think that you could be an equally good one, too. You're new in this town, right? We would like to be the ones you turn to, Duo – all of us."

"Don't worry about me," Duo said, waving a dismissive hand. "I'm the original Lone Ranger. Silhouetted against the sunset on top of a mountain, me against the world, sort of thing. Quatre's worrying, right? It's just like him. I'll tell him I'm fine, it's really okay, I'm getting along great."

Trowa eyed him. "Good luck with that," he said cryptically. Before Duo could ask him what he meant, the other man glanced at his watch and grimaced. "I'd better be going, if we don't want to be too late. I'd offer you a ride there with us, but I'm betting you'd rather take a cab."

Duo grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, I think that's best."

He saw Trowa to the door, relieved that he was getting off without having to explain what had happened, and even more relieved that he wasn't going to be stuck with only Heero and Relena for company – the man who was pissed at him and who he was falling in love with, and the woman in love with the man who was pissed and who he was falling in love with. What a wonderful dinner _that_ would be. Besides, he rather liked Quatre, who was this devilish little angel, and Trowa was growing on him, too.

Friends… he could do with some of those.

Especially if they could turn Heero from pissed-off into just… sulky. He wondered what Quatre had said to work such a miracle. Duo snorted to himself; he couldn't imagine a sulking Heero, but he supposed Trowa knew more facets of the man than he did. That made him a little envious, but not jealous – Trowa and Quatre were so clearly gone on each other that it would be stupid to be jealous.

Feeling much better, Duo went to get his suit jacket. He had a dinner to attend.

* * *

Ooh, drama.

Which, I hope, makes up for the extremely short supply of humour.

The re-appearance of Trowa! I love that guy, he and Quatre are the cutest thing ever. I realised that the other boys haven't been around, so I'm going to amend that from now on. The G-boys are the most fun when they're together, after all.

I also realised the number of reviews and stuff for this fic is less than that for Joke. I'm thinking of going back to Joke and ignoring this one for a while, since it appears more people want to read that one… this is more fun to write, though, I must admit.

Next up, Heero and Duo seeing each other all dressed up in tailored suits. Mmm.

**Ashen Skies**_  
"There was this prank…"_


	12. Squeaks and Sulks

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gundam Wing, have any relation to Gundam Wing, have no permission from those who created Gundam Wing to write this. This is purely for fun, to waste time, and to make other people happy reading and to spread the joy of slashy literature to all those poor unenlightened Fellow Man out there. I am making no profit from this.

**Pairings: **2x1x2, side pairing 3x4

**Summary:** Heero was perfectly happy as a workaholic recluse, but then Quatre declared War on him and suddenly there's a sugar-high American at his door, messing up the house and showing him that maybe, he hadn't been that happy after all...

* * *

**Roommate: Unwanted**

_Chapter Twelve: Squeaks and Sulks_

* * *

_  
_

Duo opened his mouth and squeaked.

Heero stared at him.

Clearing his throat, Duo tried again. "Um… hello," he managed, while his brain gibbered.

Heero continued to stare.

"Nice night?" Duo tried, only half-aware of what he was saying. God, the intensity of those eyes…

"Hn." Staaaaare.

Duo had no idea where their absolutely _scintillating_ conversation would have gone from there if Quatre hadn't appeared with a delighted, "Duo! You look wonderful! Oh, it's been ages since I've seen you, I'm so sorry about how busy I've been, we haven't even talked on the phone recently, but I'll make more of an effort now, I swear! Did I mention you look wonderful?"

Grateful for the distraction, Duo tore his eyes away and turned to face Quatre, trying to remember how to use his higher brain functions again. An easy grin found its way onto his face when he saw the honest happiness in light blue eyes; he _had_ missed conspiring and talking with the bubbly little blond. "Hey Quat, good to see you again!" He spread his arms and gestured at himself with a sheepish laugh. "I feel ridiculous in these clothes, to tell you the truth. If it's any _less_ me, it'd be a tricycle."

Quatre burst out laughing. "Duo! What does that have to do with anything? God, I really have missed you, none of my friends have quite your sense of humour." He came forward for a hug, which Duo gladly returned, and when he pulled away he gave Duo a once-over and shook his head with another laugh. "And please, you look _stunning_ in a tux. It's just so different from your normal wear that it startles the eye and brings out your good looks, it really does. Don't you think so, Heero?" he said encouragingly, turning to the Japanese man.

"Hn." Staaaaaaaaare.

Duo's eyes were inexorably pulled back to the other figure beside them. He couldn't have fought it if he'd tried; it was an almost magnetic force. He wanted to correct Quatre: _I can't look stunning_, he wanted to say, _because compared to THAT, Johnny Depp is a decrepit fashion disaster and Megan Fox is a frumpy, colour-blind grandmother. How is little old me supposed to compete?_

Because Heero looked like a veritable _Greek God_.

No, wait, scratch that, he _was_ a veritable Greek God. There was no other explanation. No one could ooze that much sex and charm and power and still be human! It wasn't possible! It wasn't fair!

Heero had always been hot, but dressed like this, he was _bloody freaking hot_. His normally unruly hair had been tamed to just the right degree, so that it was artfully messy, like he'd just tumbled out of a _very_ well-used bed. The cut of his suit was perfectly suited to his lean strength, showing off the compact width of his shoulders, hinting at the trim waist, hugging that perfect butt and the length of his legs, hinting and revealing and hiding at the same time.

The black of the tux and the deep, glossy navy of his tie brought out the unbelievable brilliance of his blue eyes. Sapphires would melt in envy, and those women wearing sapphires tonight would weep knowing that their puny little jewels didn't even come _close_, especially when those eyes were – oh, god – artfully, just a _hint_, there-but-not-quite-there, lined with smoky kohl eyeliner. It accentuated his already intense eyes and added yet another sultry, just-out-of-bed touch. Quatre or Trowa had to have forced it onto him, there was no way Heero would have put on anything close to make-up willingly, and Duo made a mental note to figure out which of them it was so that he could buy them flowers. Or chocolate. Or both.

And the way Heero was standing, with his normal quiet, deadly grace, with that purely Heero confidence, relaxed and yet aware at the same time… actually, _bloody freaking_ _hot_ didn't even _begin_ to cover it.

Gibber, gibber.

_Haven't we been here before?_

_No, because I'd damn well remember if we had!_

_No, you idiot, I meant the gibbering._

_Ah. Well, Heero tends to do that to me._

_Mmm, he does that._ The bunny eyed Heero appreciatively. _You know, he does look extra scrumptious tonight…_

_Back off!_ Duo stabbed an imaginary carrot at the bunny in warning. _Mine! Bad bunny!_

_Hello, I'm a figment of your imagination. What am I going to do, manifest myself and jump out from the middle of your forehead like some quadruped Athena with fur?_

_Uh…_

_Or are you planning to stab yourself in the imagination? How are you even going to determine which part of your brain that would be?_

_Uh… the right hemisphere controls creativity, doesn't it? That and spatial awareness, the thing that lets you imagine blueprints in 3-D. The left brain does logic, linear thinking. So imagination would probably come from the right side of the brain._

_Hmm. Maybe you could pit the left lobe of your brain against the right, then. Bumper car wars, sort of thing, only it'd be bumper… brains?_

_Well, technically bumper car requires – wait a minute. I'm sorry, but what the hell? How did we even get here?_

_Don't look at me, it's your brain._

_Mwahahaha!_

…_Is it just me, or did that mad cackle sound more like a mad, cackling… leer?_

_It's not just you._ The bunny's eyes narrowed. _Excuse me while I go pound the voice into the dust. I'll be back to fight you for Heero later._

_I thought you were just a figment of my imagination!_

There was a light cough to his left, making Duo blink. Trowa was smirking faintly at the two of them, and by his side, Quatre was all starry-eyed and had a big, dreamy smile on his face. "As much as I'd love to stand here staring at you two staring at each other," Trowa drawled, "we need to leave this alcove and start moving towards the actual ballroom."

Quatre couldn't seem to stop beaming, and he looked like he was almost physically refraining himself from saying something other than simply, "Come on, we'll be late."

The words didn't really register until Heero looked away – Duo hadn't even realised they'd been holding each other's gaze. "Hn," the Japanese man grunted, before stalking out of the alcove – god, even his _walk_ was sexy, and the pants fit his legs and his ass like a _glove_ –

A gentle hand caught his elbow and pulled him along. "Try to remember how to breathe and walk at the same time," Trowa murmured, unholy amusement in his voice.

"Easy for you to say," Duo muttered, trying to do exactly that – but his eyes and lungs and legs didn't seem to want to cooperate. One was glued to the man before him and the other two felt like tar and jelly respectively.

Trowa chuckled and let him go when he was moving properly, and moved smoothly up to walk beside Heero, letting Quatre drop back to pace Duo. The blond leaned in, eyes shining. "That was the cutest thing ever!" he said, barely managing to keep his voice low enough so that the other two couldn't hear. "You two couldn't tear your eyes from each other! I never thought I'd see the day when Heero would react to someone like that!"

Duo blinked at him, a thousand thoughts clamouring in his mind. One broke free, and popped out of his mouth: "You're not mad?"

"Mad?" Some of that scary sparkling faded, and Quatre tilted his head, confused. "Why would I be mad?"

"You hired me to help Heero turn into a normal person and here I am… well…"

"Oh!" Understanding dawned. "Don't be silly, Duo, do you think, what with Trowa and I, that I'd have anything against you and Heero? In fact, having you two fall for each other is much more than I ever hoped for when I hired you. It's perfect! You have my full blessings."

"Whoa, wait, what?" Duo's thoughts ran into an abrupt wall and he quickly backpedalled. "Uh, Quat… okay, I admit that he's hot, but anyone with eyes and probably even those without can tell that he's hot! I'm just not sure –"

"Duo." Quatre's voice was like steel, and it halted Duo in his tracks, eyes wide. Blue eyes pinned him. "Please do not waste my time denying that you like him."

"Uh…" Duo squirmed. "The thing is… that is…" He looked desperately to Trowa and Heero – or to where they had been. There was no one else in the carpeted corridor.

"Trowa's bringing Heero to the ballroom, it's just the two of us." Quatre advanced on Duo, who for the first time realised how terrible a feeling it was to be a mouse looking up at a cobra towering over it with coils spread and fangs bared. "You like him, and I know you can tell that he likes you more than he likes most people, which is saying something. So what's the problem?"

Duo squeezed his eyes shut. It helped, but only a little. There was nothing to do but to surrender, and he found himself saying quickly, "I like him but I'm not sure I want to get into a relationship with him and I'm not sure he's ready for it and I don't want to ruin our hard-earned progress and I don't think he likes me back anyway!"

There was a horrible, long moment of silence. Duo's heart didn't even dare beat.

"Oh. Is that all?"

Duo's jaw dropped. His eyes flew open, and latched onto the image of an angelic Quatre, smiling a smug, indulgent smile at him. The blond even had the gall to pat him on the shoulder! "You two are awfully cute," Duo was informed. "It's going to be _such_ fun watching you."

And then, to Duo's consternation, Quatre turned and sauntered down the corridor without another word.

He gaped, and then ran to catch up. "Wait – that's it? That's all?" he demanded.

"Of course." Quatre gave him an innocently puzzled look that Duo didn't trust one damn bit. "What else?"

"Well – you talked to Heero, for one, so I know you know things that I don't know!" Duo tried to keep the faint note of whining from his voice, and attempted to sound pitiful. "Come on, throw me a line here, I'm floundering in the deep end, you know how Heero can be –"

Quatre stopped before a set of doors, smiling affectionately at him, but that hint of steel was back. "Oh, I know how Heero can be, but the issue here, Duo – is it an issue with Heero, or do you have your own issues that you need to solve before you attempt to solve anyone else's?"

Duo just stared.

Quatre inclined his head in a little nod. "I thought so." And then the little devil opened the doors and stepped through. "Well?" he said over his shoulder. "Aren't you coming in? You don't know what table we're at, do you?"

Moving on autopilot, Duo stepped in after him. The noise of hundreds of decorous conversations washed over him, as an immediate sense of _space_ hit him – the ballroom was at least three stories high, a Renaissance ceiling adding to the illusion of open space, supported (at least in design) by pillars that stretched forever. Drapes, gold and white and soft hues in between, hung everywhere to soften the room, and flowers lent bursts of colour and soft scents.

"Wow." The soft exclamation slipped out involuntarily. The artful beauty of the place had served to temporarily wash away all the thoughts furiously racing through his mind.

"Isn't it?" Quatre agreed, leading them through the table, smiling and nodding polite greetings to people he passed. No one stopped him to talk – it was nearing the official start of the dinner, Duo guessed, seeing how the majority of people were already seated or heading towards their seats, so probably the talk would come later.

"Don't think I've forgotten our conversation," Duo hissed, trying to sound intimidating.

"I don't know anything," Quatre said serenely. "And even if I did, I couldn't break any confidences, could I? Even if I had not been specifically entrusted with the aforementioned confidences, my own sense of honour would still keep me from breaking them, wouldn't it? Surely you would not ask a man to betray his friends' trust and his own honour."

Then they were at their table, and Duo suppressed the urge to exorcise the little bugger of a demon from Quatre's body as the others got up to greet them. _Now I know how he turned Heero from pissed-off into sulking,_ Duo thought morosely to himself. _Hell, I feel like a bit of sulking myself, if I weren't at this damn dinner. No wonder he's a business wonder before thirty, I'm just amazed he hasn't taken over the world yet._

"– my friend and Heero's new roommate," Quatre was saying. "Although he came at Relena's invitation."

Duo's social skills came to life on automatic as he came face to face with Relena for the second time – she was lovely in a tasteful pink silk gown, and he kissed the hand she offered for him to shake, making her laugh. "It's my honour to be invited by one of the prettiest politicians in town," he said solemnly, eyes dancing with laughter.

She fairly beamed at him. "It's _my_ honour, Duo, to invite someone who could convince one of the most anti-social people in the country to come," she teased, but the glance she darted at Heero, who was finishing his own round of greetings, and the blush that accompanied it made the teasing a little bittersweet.

Not for the first time – and definitely not for the last – Duo reflected how perfect a couple Heero and Relena would make, standing side by side. The epitome of masculinity and the paragon of femininity.

Someone cleared his throat, and Duo let go of Relena's hand to meet the pale blue eyes of – he blinked – a damn good-looking man with silver-blond hair almost as long as his own. The stranger held out a hand for him to shake, which Duo took.

"Zechs Marquise," the man introduced himself. The handshake was firm, without any of the macho testing Duo had expected, before he let go. "Relena's brother."

Duo tilted his head, confused. "Ah…"

The other man smiled faintly. "Long story, though I'm surprised you don't know it. It's the Peacecraft bloodline that binds us." His smile became slightly more genuine. "It's rare to see hair like yours nowadays. I thought mine was one of a kind."

Duo had to grin. "You know, just for the hair, it's really good to meet you."

Relena laughed, covering it behind a delicately gloved hand. "When I met you, Duo, I just knew I had to introduce you to my brother!"

"Two good-looking men, both with hair longer and better than mine will ever be." The dry voice came from another woman with interesting forked eyebrows and one of the sharpest gazes Duo had ever seen. It bore through its recipient and analysed every atom. "Such a pity. No girl should ever date a man prettier than she is, and the same principle, I believe, applies to the hair."

"I think it's a chicken-and-egg question," Duo said amiably, letting that piercing gaze slide off his mask of charm and goodwill. "People with long hair learn to take care of it better, so, you know, milady, if you would care to grow yours out too, perhaps you will have the finest hair of us all."

She raised an eyebrow, but the first hint of a smile softened her sharp features. "Reserve the charm and the pet names for Relena, if you please. I have no wish to be associated with anything so demure."

"Oh, being ladylike doesn't equate to being demure. One can be a lady and be sweet, and one can be a lady and be strong. And of course, one can be a lady and be both, and more… milady." Duo gave her a little bow, but raised his head slightly to grin at her.

She was almost smiling back, though it was more of a smirk than anything. Amusement laced her voice as she said, "I'm Dorothy Catalonia. I think I'm going to enjoy getting to know you, Duo Maxwell." She gave him a little wave of her fingers. "If you'll excuse me, I don't think I'll be offering my hand to you in greeting."

Watching her head to her seat, Duo gave Relena and Zechs a cock-eyed grin. "Am I still in one piece?" he wanted to know.

Amidst the laughter of the table, Duo got introduced to the others – Iria Winner and her husband Wayne, who welcomed him warmly, and Edward Roberts, who, judging from the way he kept trying to speak to Dorothy (getting rebuffed each time with cutting remarks that caused Duo to be hard pressed to keep from laughing) was her rather unwanted escort for the night. Judging from the way Relena kept casting her frustrated little looks each time Dorothy snapped at the man, it wasn't the first time such an arrangement had happened.

Relena was at the head of their able, Heero to her left, Dorothy to her right (the poor woman was trapped between the unwanted Roberts and an insistent Relena). Duo was next to Heero, Trowa on his other side, Quatre on _his_ side. Iria was understandably next to Quatre, between him and her husband. Zechs completed the circle.

Relena was invited to give some speech, being one of the biggest contributors to the charity the dinner was hosted for. Duo applauded politely as she went up, all too aware of the faint heat and the straight line of Heero's back, on his right. His conversations with Trowa and Quatre replayed themselves in his mind.

Damn. Weeks of agonising and he still couldn't decide what to do about one Heero Yuy and his own insane attraction to the man.

_You two couldn't tear your eyes away from each other! I never thought I'd see the day when Heero would react to someone like that!_

Quatre's words echoed, and suddenly the implication sank into Duo. He snuck a wide-eyed glance at Heero, who ignored him.

Heero had been staring at him, too?

Come to think of it… Heero's lack of response had been more than unusually lacking. Especially with all the headway Duo had made in helping him improving his conversational skills. There hadn't been any anger or anything like that either, which meant that the lack of response wasn't due to the remnants of yesterday's fiasco.

Could it be…?

Duo wished whole-heartedly that he knew what Quatre had said to Heero. All he needed was just one clue, just one tiny hint, that Heero could, you know… possibly, in some form, at some point in the future, _in any way_… like him back.

Because he'd sworn to himself, a long time ago, to never be so stupid as to fall for someone who would never love him back.

* * *

As Relena spoke in the background, Heero worked on getting his emotions and thoughts in order.

Duo was a magnetic presence next to him, and even if the other man didn't notice, Heero was all too aware of the many subtle admiring looks cast his way from the other tables. Hell, when he'd walked in with Relena, every female head in their path had turned to watch him go as he walked past them.

It had shocked Heero to the core when he'd realised that the burning feeling in his chest was _jealousy_.

It was the most absurd thing. He'd always been content with what he had, satisfied with what he did. He made enough to buy anything he wanted, and what he wanted had always been simple things, so he'd never had reason to covet anything that another person had. And one of the things he'd _never_ wanted was someone else taking up room in his life, occupying his thoughts, invading his physical space. Trowa and Quatre and Wufei and the others were fine, because friends were necessary and even pleasant things to have when they knew their limits, and his friends _did_ know the limits.

But Duo didn't.

Duo pushed, and cajoled, and teased, and wormed his way in with a cheerful grin and a stubborn streak a continent wide – and not a continent like Australia, but rather, say, Asia. Somehow, somewhere along the way, Duo had become much more than a mere friend.

Heero hated it.

Duo made him feel all sorts of new, ugly emotions: irrational anger, emotional hurt, _jealously_. Duo made him want things he couldn't even put a name to: shapeless yearnings, but growing stronger every day. Duo caused the things that had always satisfied him to become unsatisfactory.

He'd gone to Quatre's and laid into him, taking him to task for arranging the whole roommate thing and choosing someone so suspicious as Duo. He'd been in the middle of a list of all of Duo's faults, when Quatre had kicked him in the ankle "to shut you up", the blond had said with a glint in his eye.

That glint had been followed by one of the most painfully embarrassing and frustrating talks _ever_.

"You're sulking, you know," Trowa had told him conversationally when he'd run into his taller friend on the way back to his room in their mansion, after escaping from Quatre.

"Shut up," he'd replied intelligently.

But privately, he had to admit that he was, indeed sulking. Yet another new experience that he wasn't altogether happy with. Quatre had been right, though, as he always was – uncanny in his insight, sharp in his delivery. It had left Heero no room to argue, or to hide, and he'd had to face up to the truth.

He… _liked_… Duo.

It was why he'd gotten so furious and hurt when Duo had kept secrets from him, when he was perfectly fine with letting the other men he was friends with keep their secrets. It was why he'd been so bothered when his prank had worked too well, when he would normally have been more than smug to see a plan come to fruition. It was why he found things like Duo's remodelling his entire house amusing (though he'd never admit it, but he hadn't had to admit it for Quatre to point it out mercilessly), when he normally hated for people to touch his things without permission.

Heero could have happily gone on without ever facing up to the truth, but the confrontation with Duo had been the first time he'd been truly upset with the other man, and it had – with Quatre's help, of course – brought up all this shit that he'd successfully locked away.

That didn't mean that Heero was going to give in, though. Oh, no. Once he knew the problem, he could solve it. He'd planned to generally let things go back to the way they were before, and simply treat Duo like one of the other guys, making sure to keep a little distance. After all, emotions were fickle things, and Heero had never had problems tamping down on his emotions – anger, frustration, panic, fear, and so on. Taming his emotions so that they pointed the way but didn't lead him by the nose was, by now, a natural instinct. Odin had seen to that.

These new feelings were harder to handle, being new, but Heero was sure they could be handled the same way. After all, the other emotions he was used to could be almost overwhelmingly intense when they first surfaced, but once he took a step back, put a little distance between them and himself, then they faded away easily after a time. Hell, if he could resist the urge to kill Zechs every time, the emotions involving Duo had to be easy.

That plan had lasted all the way until he'd set eyes on Duo, tonight.

Duo was… beautiful.

No, beautiful was too trite a word. _Gorgeous_, perhaps. Yes, a strong word, an uncommon word: Duo was gorgeous. He was dazzling, stunning, incredible, and all those similar adjectives. Heero had seen Duo in the suit before, of course, but he hadn't really _seen_ him. Buying the suit had been a decision-making process, objective, analytical, and Duo had looked uncomfortable all the way.

Tonight, though…

The suit clung perfectly to Duo's torso, his every limb. It fit him like a well-tailored second skin, and the dark grey tie lent a smokiness to his startling eyes. He had a model's proportions, and carried off the look so well that Heero couldn't help but feel that he ought to be paid for it. His posture, normally slightly slouched, was now straight, shoulders back, and the way he held himself made his shoulders broaden and his legs go on forever.

_Gorgeous._

Heero hadn't been able to look away from Duo, drinking in the sight with a hunger he couldn't restrain. Duo in a formal suit, in a formal setting, hair held back in some elegant arrangement that was different from his normal simple braid, so that silk-soft lengths of it framed his face… was irresistible. And Heero, aware for the first time of his feelings for Duo, had suddenly seen him in a whole new light.

He didn't know why, but being aware of his feelings had caused him to be hyper-aware of _Duo_ himself. He was hyper-aware of Duo's movements, his walk and his gestures; hyper-aware of Duo's laughter, his teasing, his voice; hyper-aware of the heat he radiated, in the seat by his side; hyper-aware of each blink, each darting movement of his tongue as he licked his lips…

Damn it!

That had been another new experience: his brain melting at the sight of Duo, his body reacting, so that the world faded around him but for the other man. He'd been aware of Duo speaking, but he hadn't been able to tell what was said, and he couldn't for the life of him remember what he'd answered. His brain had gone completely blank. It was completely unnerving, and Heero had been horrified at his lapse. He'd never been physically attracted to someone before, let alone so overwhelming an attraction. It was, frankly, a little terrifying.

Heero hated feeling out of place in his own skin, his own mind, but at the same time he knew he had no one to blame but himself.

So he sulked.

But _discreetly_.

And he didn't even want to begin thinking about the fact that most likely, Duo liked him too. His own feelings were complicated enough without factoring in Duo, who was one of the most complicated humans he'd ever met.

The conclusive tone to Relena's words triggered his brain, and Heero surfaced from his thoughts in time to clap along with the rest of the ballroom as she smiled, bowed, and descended from the stage. As he watched her glide back to their table, Heero regretted, not for the first time, that she was so infatuated with him. She was a beautiful, intelligent woman, and if she'd only get over her crush, Heero rather felt that she would make a good friend.

Of course, Relena believed that she was truly in love with him, but Heero knew better. Despite the interminable length, it was nothing more than a simple crush. She didn't know him at all, didn't act like herself when she was around him – how could their relationship be anything deep? From what he read, from what he saw, from what he'd observed of Trowa and Quatre's relationship – Relena had a crush on him, and that was all.

Heero became aware that Dorothy was trying to catch his eye, and he looked up. He raised an eyebrow as she looked at Duo, looked back at him, and then nodded minutely to Relena's seat and smirk.

He kept his eyebrow raised. _What?_

She rolled her eyes and indicated Duo with her eyes, then narrowed her eyes at him in a clear command.

Oh.

Relena returned to her seat. As she settled, she began to turn towards Heero, but Dorothy tapped her on the arm. "Relena," she said smoothly, "Did you see Paul Whitman? He asked me to discuss with you the possibility of an extension of the contract period, but as you know, we've already had several delays coming from his team and I simply don't think I want to trust his efficiency any longer…"

Heero sighed mentally. While he was grateful to Dorothy from engaging Relena, minimising the time he had to politely and discreetly discourage her star-struck overtures, he wasn't sure that the alternative was much better. What on earth was he supposed to say to Duo?

He subtly glanced at the man in question out of the corner of his eye. Trowa had pointedly turned to talk to Quatre in low tones, leaving Duo slightly stiff in his seat, as if hesitant to turn to Heero but at the same time uncomfortable in lonely silence.

Damn his interfering friends.

Heero turned to Duo, who looked back at him with slightly wide, surprised eyes, but with a hint of relief in them. "I… might have overreacted yesterday," he said cautiously, keeping his voice low so that the rest of the table couldn't hear. He was loathe to apologise outright – he wasn't entirely sorry for his outburst, anyway, because he _was_ still somewhat angry that Duo persisted in keeping secrets from him.

Duo blinked, and then a relieved, sheepish grin broke on his face. "No, don't worry about it," he said quickly, though he spoke quietly to match Heero. "It was kinda my fault anyway. I'm just glad you aren't mad at me anymore."

Heero shrugged slightly. "I am," he said bluntly, "but I have gotten control over it."

Duo flinched. "Oh. Um." Those violet eyes lowered. "I'm… I'm sorry."

"Do not apologise if you do not mean to correct yourself, or the apology is meaningless. I am willingly to forget the entire episode, if you are." He hadn't meant to still sound so bitter, but now that the words had come out unbidden, he clenched his jaw and refused to take them back. Perhaps he could go back to his original plan: just forget it all, remain friends, never taking it further, and all these troublesome things would fade away.

But at that moment Duo raised his gaze again, and there was determination in it, tinged with slight apprehension, like he'd just made a big decision and was afraid of the consequences. "I do mean it," he said quietly. "And you were right. It isn't fair that I keep pushing you to open up to me when I'm keeping stuff from you. I don't want to be one of those hypocritical people, and… and you mean more to me than that." He took a deep breath. "When this dinner is over, maybe later, or maybe tomorrow… I'll tell you some things about me."

Heero felt a surge of ridiculously warm and happy feelings. He shoved them away. "You don't have to –" he began.

"I want to," Duo said firmly. He hesitated, and tried to smile, but it was shaky. "I just hope you'll still want me as a friend or even just a tenant, after what I have to say!"

It was meant to be a joke, Heero could tell, but he could also see that there was a part of Duo that really did fear that his secrets would change everything. The urge to reassure the other man was too strong to resist, and he looked away, a little embarrassed, as he said, "I do not believe that there is much that could make me turn against you."

The look in Duo's eyes, out of the corner of Heero's gaze, was too raw and too hopeful and too bright to bear. Uncomfortable with the sudden turn the conversation had taken, Heero leaned in towards Relena. Some part of him was always listening and watching everything going on around him, so he was able to interject, "Homer Greene will undercut you. You'd be safer with Paul Whitman, even."

Relena immediately turned to him, quickly latching on to the offered topic. Behind her shoulder, Dorothy gave Heero an annoyed, threatening Look. He returned it with a bland one of his own as he absently replied to Relena's question.

The dinner progressed through the soup and the appetizers, Heero keeping Relena on safe, business-related topics. Dorothy was arguing with Zechs over Roberts about the merits of fencing, the poor man between them lost but trying (and failing) to contribute. Iria and her husband were involved in a serious-looking three-way discussion with Quatre, speaking too softly (unlike a sharp-tongued Dorothy and a dismissive Zechs) for Heero to hear. Trowa and Duo were discussing, of all things, comic books. Heero could imagine it of Duo, but… Trowa? Huh.

He was glad that Duo could talk so easily to his friends, though. Having Duo included in his circle, having the others accept him so readily, was… pleasant.

God, he was so screwed.

_Not yet you aren't._

_Shut up._

* * *

_  
_

It was during the main course that the individual conversations gave way to a group one. They talked for a while about the newest book craze, reminisced about some dying author or another, and then, as dessert arrived, turned to the topic of their favourite genres.

"Fantasy," Duo said decisively. "Definitely fantasy."

Zechs rolled his eyes. "All fantasy is a waste of time," he said.

"You just don't have the ability to understand its subtlety," Dorothy said with a smirk. "Mysteries, thrillers, horror… all other fictional genres are actually more removed from reality than fantasy is."

"Fantasy most closely mirrors our reality and the human condition," Quatre agreed, "by way of hidden analogy."

"Fantasy is the best way to convey an author's message," Duo put in. "Well-written fantasy draws you in so that the ideas in it become your own without you realising it. It shows and reveals, rather than hits you over the head. I hate books like that, no class, no elegance, no… no _skill_ at all. Like that Album guy, wrote something about Thursdays?"

"Tuesdays with Morrie?" Iria suggested.

"Yeah, that." Duo grimaced. "God, what a preachy, self-indulgent piece of shit. I mean, the philosophies in it are all well and good, but it's so… trite, the way he does it. You can tell these things – lousy authors cheat by making use of death to make things all sentimental and dramatic. Terminal illnesses that give you time to appreciate how _precious_ life is now that you're slowly dying, those are the most annoying to read about. Now, an author who can create poignancy without having to kill someone off? That's someone on the right track."

"But not many people have the time or patience to read things that are less subtle," Relena countered. "Books like Mitch Albom's are very simple, very direct, so that the general public can understand them." She quirked a smile. "I find that most people resist outside ideas unless you overdose them or make it so that there's no way, short of blinding themselves, they can miss it."

Quatre snickered. "Oh, so very true!" The conspiratorial grin he shared with Relena told them that the two of them had certain politicians and businessmen in mind.

"Still," Wayne said, his deep voice as gentle and cultured as his wife's, "I prefer things more grounded in reality, as they're easier to read. I'm one of those people with little patience or time to get involved in a world so unlike mine that I have to keep in mind all their differences. Mysteries and thrillers give me the same escapist outlet that fantasy can, but a more accessible outlet."

"Exactly! Such genres give you an insight into the human psyche, more so than fantasy." Zechs was gesturing animatedly, getting into his point. "It leads you through the paths of the human mind; it illustrates the dark and the light of human nature. It shows you what people are capable of and how they arrive there."

"It's like economics," Duo said thoughtfully.

Zechs paused, looking blank.

Heero snorted. "You're over-simplifying."

"No I'm not!"

"Thrillers are much more complicated than that. It can encompass –"

"Excuse me," Dorothy interrupted, eyebrow raised, "but could you two explain what on earth you're talking about?"

"What?" Duo said, puzzled. "We're still talking about genres, aren't we?"

Heero, quicker on the uptake, explained shortly, "It's an analogy. Macro- and micro-economics. Fantasy is macro: it illustrates the overall human condition. Thrillers are micro, they delve into the individual state of mind. At least, that is Duo's stand. I believe that while fantasy indeed tends to the macro aspect, thrillers encompass both the human condition and the private workings of a human mind."

"Yeah, right. Thrillers are all about murderers, or kidnappers, or, hmm, _murderers_." Duo rolled his eyes. "You don't get any variety –"

"You understood that from _economics_?" Roberts blurted, staring between Heero and Duo.

Quatre was smiling that damned smile of his again, while Trowa was smirking. Duo blinked. He'd gotten so used to Heero being able to follow his admittedly wacky reasoning that he'd forgotten that others didn't have the same ability. The thought made him all warm and gooey inside, and he felt a blush rising.

"Um…"

"You know, that's a good analogy, Duo," Quatre said, tactfully directing the conversation back on track and away from more personal paths. "But Heero's right, I'm not a fan myself, but some thrillers must be given their due."

Zechs pounced on the help. "Quatre's right, it's just like any genre, you have the good and the bad authors."

"If Dan Brown's popularity is any example –"

"Dan Brown? Heaven forbid." Zechs waved a hand dismissively. "He's the thriller version of Mitch Album –"

"Albom –"

"Albom, yes, thank you… Roberts." Zech's hesitation over the man's name was brief, and he dived right back in again. "Dan Brown is interesting in a simple-minded way, that's all. You should try the real authors, there's not as much fuss made about them, but any reader worth his salt will know the names: Stephen Hunter, Lee Child, Robert B. Parker, Robert Crais, Vince Flynn –"

"Now you've done it," Heero muttered to a bemused, staring Duo. Trowa, Quatre, Dorothy and Relena had long-suffering looks on their faces, and the rest who were less familiar with Zechs looked as bemused as Duo was. "Zechs has a hero-against-the-world complex. He'll force his books on anyone near enough."

"– Nelson DeMille, Jack Higgins, John Clarkson, though he's less well-known, but still good, and, damn, pardon me, stop glaring, Relena…" Zechs leaned in, eyes alight. "I can't believe I didn't mention Hale O'Reilly right off the bat!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Duo noticed Heero choke a little.

"He's an amazing author; he sets the bar higher than even the classic authors like Ian Fleming – that's the James Bond creator. His descriptions are so real you can _feel_ it happening to you, and his knowledge is the most extensive I've seen. It's like he's lived the experiences he write about in his book. He writes so well – language, plot, characterisation – that you'd _believe_ that these things really happened, and he was a witness to it all, or even a part of it all."

"Really," Duo said. Out of the corner of his _other_ eye, he saw Trowa and Quatre try to conceal knowing, amused little smirks.

"I can give you a lot of examples… let's see… there was this one scene involving a decaying rat, and the description was so real that you imagine the rank smell and the clumping fur –"

"Zechs…"

A decaying rat? Why did that sound so familiar?

"– and the protagonist ingeniously used the state of its decay to deduce –"

"_Zechs_." Relena's tone brooked no argument, and her brother turned to look at her. She gave him a severe, half-embarrassed, half-disgusted look. "In case you haven't noticed," she said, "we are having _dinner_. Please reign in your enthusiasm for nausea-inducing images."

The blond-haired man sighed, and settle back into his seat. "Of course." He inclined his head to the rest of the table, suddenly all poise and elegance again. "Pardon me. I was too caught up in my enthusiasm and got a little carried away." He looked at Duo and smiled. "You know, don't take my word for it – if you'd like, you could come to my apartment another day, and I could lend you a couple of O'Reilly books."

Duo hadn't expected the offer, and it caught him off-guard. On one hand, the books did sound interesting, but on the other hand the look in Zechs' eyes hinted at an invitation concerning things much more intimate than books, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to encourage it. "Well –"

"There is no need." Heero's voice was flat, though there was a trace of something sharp in it that Duo couldn't quite make out. "I have copies."

Zechs raised a politely disbelieving eyebrow. "You read?"

Somehow, in Duo's mind, that innocuous statement sounded more like, _You know how to read?_ than _You read thrillers?_

Surely Zechs had meant the second one, right?

Heero's reply was cool and equally polite, but his eyes had narrowed slightly and from the almost imperceptible set of his body, Duo realised that Heero really, _really_ disliked Zechs. "I have amassed a wide range of books over the years. I well appreciate the variety of knowledge that can be gleaned from each genre and so do not limit myself to any particular one."

_Ouch._

It seemed that the feeling was mutual. If Zechs raised his nose any higher, his chair would have to tip over to accommodate the anatomical impossibility of the angle of his neck. "Ah, quantity over quality, I see. It must be nice being a jack-of-all-trades, without the burden of dipping beneath the surface and thinking deeply."

Duo could make out the clenching of Heero's fists under the table. "I find," Heero said, icily polite still, "that if one has the proper ability and puts in the slightest effort, it is possible to read both widely and deeply. Anyone limited to only one of the two options is sadly lacking in vital areas, and I pity the literary wealth that he – or she, of course – will miss out on."

_That was a nice touch. 'Or she' – hah! Good one!_

_Quiet!_ Duo was too fascinated to pay attention to the bunny's return._ Don't distract me, Heero's winning!_

"Alas, I find that my time is taken up by events and obligations more grounded in reality than literature," Zechs replied. "I have a great number of people who I interact with and a great deal of vital projects to work on, and so I have developed the _ability_ to discern the most worthwhile of books from the common masses and so spend my time wisely reading only those. "

_That was low!_ The bunny was hopping around in agitated fury. _The bastard!_

_I know!_ Duo bit the inside of his cheek to keep from growling. Any and all goodwill towards Zechs vanished in an instant. _How dare he insinuate that Heero has no friends to 'interact' with? How dare he suggest that Heero wastes his time and his life away on non-'vital' things?_

Heero was fairly radiating killer intent. He opened his mouth, and Duo, fearing what would come out, quickly said, "You know, this cake is simply scrumptious –"

"Oh, look, the band's in place, I should probably go –" Relena said at the same time.

"Isn't that Noin over there, I think she's looking for you, Zechs –" Quatre began.

There was a moment where the world went, _Huh?_

Heero closed his mouth. Zechs lowered his chin.

Everyone stared at one another.

Then Heero silently passed Duo his cake. "Here," he muttered. "I dislike sweet things."

"Uh…" Duo looked down at the plate. "Thanks?"

Relena coughed lightly. "Well!" she said brightly. "I was asked to be one of the pairs to start the dance, so…" She cast Heero a sideways glance, blushing a little. "I should probably venture onto the dance floor soon, the others are already making their way there."

Duo felt his heart constrict, but he knew that he could do no less than to say: "If you don't mind, milady, I nominate Heero as your dance partner. The man's sitting next to you, he's got to be good for something."

The glare Heero shot him could have castrated something, but there was also… confusion in it as well? Duo managed to keep smiling as he leaned in and whispered, "You in a public forum attempting to dance – I've got to see it. Take this as my revenge for the mirror thing."

Heero's expression became less… poisonous. His gaze bore into Duo's for a moment. Then he closed his eyes briefly, as if praying for strength, and when he stood there was nothing but polite neutrality on his face. He offered his arm to Relena wordlessly. Relena, for her part, didn't press his silence, and simply accepted the gesture with a radiant smile.

_Damn, but she really is beautiful._

Duo found himself repressing an urge to leap up and tear the two of them apart. It was hard.

From his seat, Zechs rose as well, a smilingly polite expression on his face. "I was invited to lead, as well," he said to the table in general. "Please excuse me, Noin is waiting."

The girl Zechs was looking at was seated at a table behind Duo, which meant that Zechs had to walk past him to approach her. Of the two targets of Duo's powerless jealousy and general annoyance and anger at the situation, Relena was the untouchable one, which left…

As Zechs walked past, a quick slight-of-hand trick slid one of the slippery velveteen napkins (more for appearances than anything, Duo figured, because the cloth was simply impractical) beneath Zech's next step.

The man went flying.

It was such a beautiful moment that tears almost came to Duo's eyes. It was classic! It was superb! It ought to be immortalised in bronze! Zechs' long hair flew upwards, tangling in itself. His legs left the ground at a most awkward angle, kicking up into the air. His mouth opened, forming around a girlish yelp. His arms flailed in inelegant circles. His expression – oh, his _expression_, that initial second of incomprehension, that dawning horror, that bug-eyed fish-gaping red-mottling _horror_!

He landed with a loud _thud_ in the midst of a growing circle of silence. Another little yelp-squeak emerged.

Duo thought he was going to rupture all his internal organs trying not to laugh hysterically out loud. He caught sight of Quatre trying desperately to change an attack of laughter into a more politically correct expression of concern, but failing horribly. Trowa wasn't even bothering to try; his hand covered his face and what was probably a shit-eating grin, judging by the shaking of his shoulders. Dorothy was doing a slightly better job than Quatre at hiding her amusement, but her lips kept twitching upwards.

Relena looked sincerely torn between laughing and worry, as was the other girl – Noin, wasn't it? – who came running forward as Relena let go of Heero's arm to go to her brother. Zechs refused her hand, climbing painfully to his own feet, completely red with embarrassment. Relena murmured something to him, and he muttered a reply.

Duo watched all this out of the corner of his eye, though. His gaze was reserved for Heero.

First, there was, like Zechs, an initial second of incomprehension, as he looked back to see what the commotion was. Then – a flash of understanding, a rising amusement, a little vindictive glee, but above all, pure, utter delight at a trick well played. Duo hadn't been sure Heero would understand what had happened, but he hadn't given him enough credit – one glance and Heero _knew_.

Bluest of blue eyes locked onto his, and there was so much warmth and laughter in them that Duo stopped breathing, and could only grin ridiculously back. Heero's expression was the softest he'd ever seen, faint smile, crinkled eyes and all. This was even better than the time he broke down and laughed in Codfish's, because this time, the mirth was all reserved for _him_, Duo – just between the both of them.

That was when Duo, too, _knew_.

In the next heartbeat, Heero's face was schooled into a neutral expression – no one would have believed concern of him, so he chose the next best thing. There was no hint of the amusement that had been so prominent just now, save for the glitter in his eyes. As Zechs got himself sorted out and Relena returned to Heero, he once more offered her an arm, and off they went. Relena never got the slightest glimpse of that other expression of Heero's.

Which was good, because she would have fallen so deeply for him that Duo would have had to kill her. Not, of course, that he had any idea how; that was Heero's forte. But he would have tried his damned best.

Because what Duo _knew_, now, was that he was already in love with Heero Yuy.

Even if he hadn't been, that expression would have clinched it. Hell, he'd bet even Zechs would have been at the very least struck dumb for a couple of seconds or so, and that was saying something, after that display of virulent antagonism. Heero's expression was like watching the sun come up on the first day after the Ice Age and feeling it melt all the ice around you; even Zechs would have had to bow down to it.

So much for not falling in love first.

Duo wasn't even aware that he had half-risen from his seat to go after Heero and Relena – to do what? He didn't even know, himself – until the grip on his arm tightened, alerting him to its presence. He looked down and followed the hand to Trowa, who shook his head minutely, a look akin to sympathy in his solemn gaze. Quatre's expression, behind his shoulder, was a mixture of empathetic pain and guilt and delight.

With a sigh, Duo turned to Zechs, who had, after offering his arm to Noin, stopped behind his chair. As Trowa released him, Duo put on an innocent, apologetic, worried expression. "I'm really sorry," he said, contrite. "I didn't realise my napkin had fallen."

Zechs eyed him for a second, and then smiled, though it was a little forced. "Don't worry about it," he said. "The things are slippery, aren't they?" He nodded to the woman on his arm. "This is Lucrezia Noin, my sister in all but blood."

Duo smiled at her. She had spunk in her, he could tell: a glint in her eye, the cropped hair. "Lovely to meet you, Lu –"

"Call me Noin," the woman said hastily. "Lucrezia sounds like some island country, I don't know what my parents were thinking."

He had to laugh. "Well then, Noin – it's lovely to meet you."

"Likewise," she said, grinning back.

Zechs cleared his throat. "Shall we?" he said.

Noin rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, lead me off to my doom."

They walked off, bickering softly. Shaking his head in amusement, Duo sat down again, but his smile quickly faded when he saw Heero on the dance floor, Relena in his arms and looking blissful.

"There is nothing between them," Trowa murmured on his left.

Duo was pretty sure he wasn't talking about Zechs and Noin. He gave Trowa a half-smile. "I know. She just wishes there is."

"So you do like him, then?" Quatre asked tentatively. They were the only ones left – Dorothy had been unable to refuse an invitation to dance from Roberts, and Iria was of course already dancing with Wayne.

Duo sighed heavily. He had admitted it to himself, so why not? "Yeah," he said, reluctantly. "I guess I do."

Quatre looked like he'd been handed a pile of presents, and it wasn't even Christmas or his birthday. He reached over Trowa with a happy little sound to give Duo a brief hug. "That's great! I knew it!"

"If you knew, you didn't need to ask," Duo pointed out dryly.

"I know, but you needed to answer it."

Duo didn't know whether to laugh or to kick the insufferably astute blond. Trowa intervened, tactfully. "What will you do now?" he asked.

"I have no idea." Duo shrugged, putting on a sheepish grin that hid the chaotic emotions in him. "The guy's a rock! But we've agreed to have a good talk tonight –" he conveniently left out the fact that he'd be the one doing most of the talking, or that the talk was definitely not about what he was leading them to believe, "– and I figure I'll take it from there."

Quatre nodded eagerly. "I'm really glad you're giving Heero a chance, Duo," he said, big blue eyes hopeful. "Be patient with him, please? And I want you to know that we'll always be here if you need us, me and Trowa and Wufei."

Duo rolled his eyes. "You and Trowa really are a couple, you even repeat the same lines."

"That's because we both mean it," Quatre said sternly. "Duo, promise me you'll call whenever you need a friend." Seeing Duo's hesitation, he narrowed his eyes. Duo would swear that shadows gathered around him. It was like being mauled by a kitten with really sharp claws and really big fangs – he was absolutely adorable and utterly terrifying at the same time. "_Promise me_."

"I promise," Duo's traitorous mouth squeaked.

"Great!" Quatre was suddenly all sunshine and smiles again, and Duo reinforced his mental note to never get on his bad side. "We've got to have lunch together soon – oh, we could make it a weekly event! I'm sure you could convince Heero, it'll be wonderful to have the five of us gather together again –"

"Perhaps," Trowa said in all seriousness, "we should make it a private event. At someone's house. With minimal neighbourly presence."

As Quatre flushed, remembering his part in their little escapade, Duo cracked up laughing.

He'd enjoy the rest of the evening, he decided, watching Quatre get teased until he was blushing furiously by a straight-faced, deadpan Trowa. The two of them were the adorable ones, really. He would enjoy this dinner, because afterwards…

No matter what, things would never be the same again.

* * *

Wow… this was a really long chapter, wasn't it? I just realised it's 9000 plus words, nearing 10,000! Gosh. That's the length of 48 Hours.

And so soon after the last one too! Maybe my muses really are coming back.

And while the last line sounds dramatic, I have a feeling the next chapter is going to be very _anti_climactic. After all that build-up, too… I don't think I can pull it off properly, but I'll try anyway. Apologies in advance for any let-downs in the next chapter.

Apologies for the excessive internal debating in this chapter, too! It probably was a little draggy.

**Ashen Skies**  
"So he sulked. But _discreetly_."


End file.
